I hope you don’t mind me crashing your space party, but I brought along a couple of shapely Swedish massuesses (sp?), a keg of Guiness, some tasty buds, and a BBQ- with ribs, of course. Mind if I joinya in the hot tub?
::Cannonballs into the tub::
Sorry!
Did I hear somethin’ about Xena babes in leather? Ye gads! Fetch me one o’ them shuttlecraft things and me sword.
Finally! Maidens to defend!
(Could someone look out for the alien aardvark thing back there while I’m gone? Poor little fella don’t hold his tequila very well, and we had to divert a bit of the guidance power to keep the GalactiBooze cold, you understand.)
Onward chariot – We’ve a date with destiny!
Dr.Watson
“Um, wait a sec, does somebody have the keys to these things?”
A drunk Surgoshan looks at the teletransmogrifier in consternation. He presses a few buttons at random. A drunk and horny Lucy Lawless (Xena, for you heathens) and a Gabrielle (whatever her real name is) teleport on to the ship. THere, ya happy?
Yay for alcohol?
I is really drunk.
I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.
< blushing very prettily yet again, Purplebear looks at VB>
OH.
Can I have my g-string back now? I may need it later for something. I don’t know for what, but something.
Changing my sig just 'cause…
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.—Anon.
Oh, alright, here’s your G-string back.
I’m a sucker for pretty blushing and batting eyes, especially in hot tubs…Mmmmmmmmm… (just ask Falcon!)
Thanks for the ribs, Big Daddy! Awesome!
VB
Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.
:::sucks on a beer, & listens to computer telling all about the “maidens” Watson & Blue have rushed off to defend:::
Christ. If those guys had just taken a few seconds to run a check on these “girls,” they never would have left. I just hope they don’t try anything stupid. Talk about your Freudian nightmares. These chicks really do have teeth down there.
:::beams down to surface, with printouts in hand:::
Bluepony? Watson? Here. Read this. Later!
:::beams back up:::
Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to.
Ground control to Major Tom, commencing countdown, engines on…
Yes ladies, thank you. That was another one of my original compositions. I like to call that one “Major Tom”. He was a personal friend of mine.
Why am I so creative, talented and yet a humble assistant recreation officer? Simple, ladies, the Fleet fails to recognize truly gifted talent because it threatens them. True genius is seldom recognized.
I’m sorry to get so emotional about it (sniff), yes I’ll take all the full-body hugs you can give me. 
Did I mention to you about my latest invention on distant Earth? The hot oil massage?
:::Accidentally steps on distress beacon, smashing it to bit:::
Oh no!! I could be marooned here for life on this empth stretch of white sand beach with all you poor girls! I may never see my home again (sniff)…Yes…(sniff) there are ways you can make me feel better ladies…(sniff)
A custom in my homeland, it’s called “Naked Twister”. I’ll try to remember the ritual steps despite my heart-wrenching grief.
::Looks at note from Cristi::
Hey Watson, Cristi says to brush your teeth!!
Limes!! I need more limes!!
Third Officer Bluepony,
Ex-Assistant Recreation Officer
Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes…
Why thank you, my sweet. And a BIG thanks to BigDaddy for the ribs! How’d you know I was getting hungry???
For food, that is…
And other things, too I guess…heh heh heh.
Say, Christi, what’s that about those “chicks”? Is there something we should all know?
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.—Anon.
:::beams back down:::
Bluepony, come here.
:::takes note from Bluepony, turns it right-side up:::
Read it again. See this part? I highlighted it for you.
Too much to drink, eh? Having trouble reading? Here, let me spell it out for you
Don’t have hot monkey sex with the aliens, guys. They have teeth, sharp, pointy teeth, where you think their genitals are. You will get hurt. Owie. Very bad boo-boos on your pee-pees. Here. I have pictures of their teeth.
:::beams back up:::
Man, I hope they got the message. I’d hate to see them get hurt. There’s a planet up ahead that really does have serious babeage, and they’re looking for guys.
Besides, I haven’t been naked with either one of those boys yet.
Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to.
Help yourself to more ribs! I brought a few sides o’beef, so we have plenty! And for those ladies upset about being abandoned for Xena clones with nasty teeth, don’t worry. There are a few of us here who realize where the real party is
It’s not how you pick your nose, it’s where you put the boogers
Thank ye kindly,BigDaddy. For both the food and the comments. Why dontcha come on over to this side of the tub, since VB’s ignoring me again for Falcon. just kidding, Falc, I share, really I do
Hey, I sure hope those poor fools get back from there with all of their ahem ‘parts’ intact!!!
I haven’t gotten to know them very well, either.
YET. 
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.—Anon.
Your quite, welcome, p-bear.
::slides next to purplebear, hands her plate of ribs and a beer::
The only problem with these ribs is that the sauce gets everywhere!
It’s not how you pick your nose, it’s where you put the boogers
Ahem < VB rolls up the sleeves on his flight suit >
Well PB, let’s go back to the showers and we’ll ::whisper, whisper:: and then
::Whisper::, and finally CENSORED
Aren’t you glad the shower area is sound proof, with strategically placed hand grips?
VB
Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.
Laughing in delight, Purplebear jumps out of the hot tub, apologizing to BigDaddy for leaving him alone, and grabs VB’s hand as they run off toward the showers.
Where they…::whisper:: and they…::whisper:: and…
BTW,VB. I had NO IDEA that’s what those hand grips were for!!! :o
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.—Anon.
<in corner, fiddling with Teletransmogrifier>
Hey, any o’ you guys wanna dance? I think I can rig this thing to beam in a sereo er,stereo. What kind o’ music should I warp in? And maybe a limbo bar or some sand? Okay, here we go!
<twists dial and pushes button, out pops some music equipment and a limbo bar, but…>
Damnit! This is a bar you have to do the limbo to get to! Stupid machine!
<kicks machine, it warps in a sheep>
Baaaaahh!!!
Oh no! I hope that guy in the kilt stays outside, if he see’s this sheep who knows what could happen?
Oh well.
how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking…
VvvV
“Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”
Shadowfox
“The dead have risen, and they’re voting Republican!” - Bart Simpson
Meanwhile, on the bridge, Captain Sy has invented a new sport.
Captain: PULL!
Tractor beam yanks an asteroid out of orbit, where phasers blow it to pieces.
Ensign: I say, that was a peach of a shot sir!
Captain: Thank you, my good fellow. What say we try for that shiny asteroid there?
Ensign: What shiny–
Captain: PULL!
KABOOM
Captain: Bloody good shot!
Ensign: Uhhh, Captain. . .
Captain: What?
Ensign: I think that was a space probe.
Captain: Oh?
Communications Officer: Captain! I just lost contact with every ship in this quadrant!
Captain: . . . Whoops.
– Sylence
If a bird doesn’t sing, I’ll wait until it sings.
*shows purple crackwhore the true meaning of purple…unzips
Dude, I think they make an ointment for that…
how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking…
VvvV
“Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”
After checking out the shower with PB, VB shakily pulls himself back to the hot tub.
Oy Vay Maria! Thatsa spicy meataball!
Shadowfox, if you voluptuous pink bottom is still cold, I could use it in my lap right about now!
VB
Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.