I saw an actor (might have been someone playing a superhero) on a talk show and he mentioned that before a shirtless scene was filmed, he had to spend the weeks prior dieting carefully and working out to achieve the ripped look. In other words, it’s not sustainable in the long run.
I’d like to be a few inches taller, but not so badly that I wear platforms.
I’d like more hair (although the term “Socratic fringe” takes some of the sting out of hair loss), but not so badly I’d consider a combover, hairpiece, spray paint, or hair-growing juice; #3 clipper twice a month.
I’d like to be more muscular & less flabby, but I’ve been there and done that and found it not worth the effort; I’m not gonna wear a girdle, though.
Day to day I feel fine and can function like a normal human being. I do not possess the gear for heading out to the club on a hunting trip, but I don’t hunt and clubs freak me out. So I guess I do have some body image issues, but they are unrelated to any actual insecurities I have. Guess I’m more of a Shrek, complete with princess, grouchy demeanor, and confidence.
ETA: I see guys every day who strike me as physically ideal–not extreme, but pleasingly proportioned and well-maintained. I don’t envy them or loathe myself more, actually I just hope the rest of their lives are trial-free. Any enmity I might feel toward someone has entirely to do with what is going on a couple inches beneath their scalp.
My husband is 6’10", and I’d love him the same if he were my own height (5’10") or shorter. Actually, one of the most desirable guys I know is very short, about 5’2". Height is simply a non-issue for me.
If it was only a few weeks, then he probably looked pretty good to begin with.
Chris Pratt totally reconfigured his body for his role in Guardians of the Galaxy. See here for before/after pics; it took six months of micromanaging his diet and “three or four hours a day of just consistent, ass-kicking hard work.”
Kumail Nanjiani did something similar recently, and candidly acknowledged that "I would not have been able to do this if I didn’t have a full year with the best trainers and nutritionists paid for by the biggest studio in the world. I’m glad I look like this, but I also understand why I never did before. It would have been impossible without these resources and time. "
These guys can be rightly proud of what they’ve achieved (yep, they had pro help, but they were still the ones lifting weights and suffering through their hunger), but an unfortunate side effect is that a lot of regular Joes automatically compare themselves with these guys and end up feeling inadquate. Same goes for regular Janes who compare themselves to elite full-time athletes/supermodels who have access to the best trainers, training facilities, dieticians, cosmeticians, stylists, and Photoshop editors.
It’s interesting. I hadn’t really thought much about it until I started reading this thread. I am “short” and in a way, that has been “liberating” from other issues with body image. I never had to even consider achieving some male model “ideal” as it was completely unrealistic from the get go.
I did not like being shorter, and I do think it had both a direct and indirect affect on my social life growing up. But it did make me realize there are things about how I look that I can control, and things I can’t.
So I don’t really worry about the things I really can’t control: height, hair color/loss, skin color.
But I do what I can to keep the things I can control to an “acceptable” state: muscularity, fitness ability, overall “form” (both size/weight and posture), etc… I’m not saying that I’m always successful, but I know what do have some control over and can work toward keeping that what I would like.
Even an actor who’s normally in good shape is looking at months of an intense diet and workout regime to get ready to play a buff superhero. This article describes a number of the things that Hugh Jackman put himself through in order to play Wolverine in the various X-Men films.
Jackman had gone through an intense two-month program before the first film (he was cast in the role at the eleventh hour), and afterwards, he felt that that wasn’t nearly enough, so his program grew to more like six months.
You guys should go check out Quora, where there are thousands of questions by insecure men and boys asking about how to lose weight, how to gain weight, how to be “buff” or “ripped”, how to sharpen their jawline, how to look bigger, how to look taller, whether, if they’re 5’8" at age 15, is that as tall as they’ll ever be, will women ever date a short man? Et cetera, et cetera. Maybe it’s just my feed, but it comes up all the time. I don’t think men are less likely to have body image issues than women. I think the issues present themselves in different ways, and are motivated by different reasons and societal pressures.
I certainly have some form of body dysmorphia myself, but I don’t usually feel pressure to look like male models or famous muscle bound actors. But others feel differently. I mostly lift weights to avoid body image issues. I think it helps. But the community of weight lifters is full of guys with body image issues and unreasonable standards. Those professional bodybuilders who look like huge roided-out lumps of beef jerky certainly aren’t trying to impress women. They’re trying, and for the most part succeeding, to impress other, smaller and softer men.
I think Inner Stickler is correct. Men don’t talk about this sort of thing. Honestly, most guys probably don’t even talk about it with their wives or girlfriends, let alone other guys. It’s not considered an issue the way women’s body image is considered an issue, because nobody talks about it, certainly not openly in public. That doesn’t mean it isn’t just as prevalent among men as it is among women. It just presents itself in different ways, and gets much less attention.
As a nerdy kid who spent time in the “Husky” section of the kid’s clothing section into my teenage years I was/am ambivalent about my appearance. I’ve always had a gut and I’ve never been happy with my upper body.
I also started going bald when I was 19. Having said that, As I progressed through to being an adult I also realized that some of these things are in my control and some aren’t.
To that end, I stopped giving a shit what other people thought and just owned what I am. Having that confidence is immeasurably sexier than looking like Brad Pitt according to my wife, and that’s the only opinion I care about.
When I was in the military, I stared shaving me head and it was liberating. I’m 52 now and probably 60 lbs heavier than I should be, but I’m not as worried about how I look as much as I am concerned over the health implications. The two are tied together no matter how you slice it though. If you’re healthy, fit and happy you’re going to be more attractive no matter what.
Well, it’ll get your hook nibbled anyway but it’s still on you to convince someone life’s better in your boat. I imagine attractive D-bags experience more rejection in the long run than you or I ever would.
Since the OP seems to ask for personal opinions:
By the time I graduated high school, the growing collection of visible scars (medical, emergency surgery, other stuff) had rendered me immune to this concern. Probably the one good part of this, as I’d heard every comment and every version of the “Dude! You survived the autopsy!” joke imaginable. Indifference and hide like a rhino allowed me to swim/tan/beach whenever. I simply stopped caring.
During college, I learned women prefer men at least 6 feet tall – but shorter guys can stand on their wallets. 
My experience has been men talk about this stuff all the time with other men, but it’s more specific - i.e. you talk about it with people that you workout with, run with, or chat on social media with. It’s less of a general topic, as it seems to be with women.
I’ve never been much of a macho guy – I’ve mostly thought of myself as a person, not as a bloke.
But at around 40, I looked in a mirror, and so the beginning of a belly developing, and thought
“That’s what a man looks like.”
So yes, it turns out I do have a body image and compare myself to other men.
Of course men have body issues. The back of comic books tell 13 year old boys how to escape their weak, 98 pound bodies. GNC sells massive tins of stuff that claims to bulk up your body and I don’t think women are buying it. Every sports program advertises products to ‘boost your manhood’ if you know what I mean, wink, wink. But it’s not manly to admit a weakness or too care to much about things like appearance so you’re supposed to solve the problem on your own, quietly.
Just like girls, boys go through a phase where their bodies change a an incredible rate. You man up and don’t talk about it if you don’t want to labeled a weirdo or a pervert. Later in life we get big bellies and hair grows out of our ears in huge tufts. Nobody want to hear about that either. At a certain point you just give up on the notion that appearance is one of the features people notice in you.
As a male, your first male role model is normally your dad. Then there are comic books. In the US that is mostly superheroes with disproportionate, impossible bodies. But you also get Dick Tracy, Flash Gordon, Lil’Abner, Tarzan, the Phantom, Phil Corrigan etc, etc.
If you are the comic relief though its much easier. If you are funny you can be Dilbert.
In the UK, you got Garth, a large number of sports strips, Judge Dredd, Dan Dare etc. And a large amount of funny strips.
In the Franco-Belgian tradition its much better. There are a number of male characters there that are meant to be taken seriously without being especially physically fit.
After comics, there are movies. If you are unlucky you were a teen in the 80s with its bodybuilder heroes, Armold Schvartzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Steven Segall, Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude van Damme etc. Generally, the muscle glorification peaks in movies for teen boys though, not Oscar material.
So when you get older, there are a lot more different body-types onscreen. I actually think TV shows tend to be better than comics and movies, perhaps because flesh actors would need to keep their bodies in shape for years. Those looks would need to be sustainable.
But by the time you leave your teens, you should have a very good idea of what a male body is expected to look like. Its reinforced I think by the fact that teen girls also know what male bodies are supposed to look like. They will tend to focus on males that will not make their peer group go “Eww!”
Hair loss… I don’t think thats vanity or looks so much as the ticking of the clock. You are not young any more. You get treated differently, and death is a few steps closer. Some men can change looks quite a bit over few years if they lose their hair and their skin sag at the same time.
Quite suddenly you are someone else in the eyes of the world. Not always bad though.
I had a very late grow spurt. The difference in how I was… not treated, but *noticed *is something I still remember.
EDIT: The actual standard for muscles have changed a lot over the decades. Johnny Weissmuller in his Tarzan days was considered one of the fittest men alive. Google a pic of him and compare it to todays standards, or movie Thor, Captain America etc.
Male preoccupations with their body image is clearly on a spectrum. When I was young and fit I scarcely thought about it at all, but as a middle aged guy that’s getting a noticeable beer belly, it’s definitely something that’s got more of my attention these days.
I care enough to do some weekly maintenance but not enough to do everyday workouts or cut way back on food. On the other hand, I’m married to a very attractive woman. If I was “on the market” I’d probably spend more time working on it.
Been watching the gold-digger Youtube videos, I see.
As a kid, I had a number of characteristics that kept me in the less-attractive group, but I didn’t pay any attention to it. I was usually dressed poorly too, because I was too dorky to care.
But at around 18-20, I became fairly self conscious of a hair problem: too much of it. Chest, shoulders, and a fair amount on my back, too. I never tried removing it, but I was a little reluctant to go shirtless sometimes. I know many women find it objectionable, but the ones I dated didn’t seem to care much, so I got past it. I think I’ve always assumed that if a woman found me attractive, it was because I was nice, not nice-looking. Only in the last few years have I realized that I’m probably considered above-average attractive. Looking back, there were several times when women and a few men came onto me based on looks alone. Every time this happened, I was clueless as to why they’d picked me out. The self image we have as children lasts a long time.
I’ve always exercised a lot, but only because I liked it. In the last 2 years, I’ve started lifting weights. I’ve become about twice as strong at the various lifts, but only added about 5 lbs of muscle. If I had before/after pics of me nude, you couldn’t see any real difference. I like being stronger, and I like that it’s invisible. I guess I’d rather be Clark Kent than Superman.
I’m 57 now, and still not very body-conscious. If I’m dressed well, it’s only because I took my wife’s advice.
When my grandfather (1901) got his first topless bathing suit, my grandmother made him shave his chest before she let him wear it.
That’s funny.
I think if I were a woman, I’d be put off by a lot of hair.