I think that the reason that some of us guys have a hard time accepting a compliment is a bit complex.
First of all, we may not have received many compliments growing up as children. This is certainly the case for me. So we don’t really have much experience in dealing with a bolt out of the blue…
Second, we may not know what the complimentor means…“Why is this person complimenting me?”, or is there some other motive? Example: if a person on my staff compliments me, I wonder why.
Third, is the compliment actually deserved or meaningful? You could tell me I am intelligent, (which I am), and I wouldn’t really pay much attention…but if you told me I was sexy, I would pay more attention.
“uh…Thanks, Wolfian” (Scrubbing foot on ground)…I am white, and male, and have the white beard, but I’ve never raised the dead, at least in the sense you seem to be referring to…
See, I can accept a compliment! Now, how much was that raise you wanted?
I do not think it is a guy thing. I learned to accept a compliment years ago when I complimented a woman at my 10th year high school reunion. I told her what a beautiful woman she had grown into. It was not a come on, just a compliment. I was utterly charmed when she smiled and simply said: Thank you.
After thinking about how charming this was, I realized it is because so few people can graciously accept a compliment. Men or women. And so thereafter I tried to match her grace and simply say “Thank you, that’s nice to hear.”
As the friendship is still ongoing, I think I can say that while he’ll still try to minimize some things I say, I believe he knows I’m being sincere, and I do think he appreciates the occasional nuggets I toss his way. Maybe it’s because after all this time I still haven’t tried to borrow money from him.
I’m like that. I tend to feel uneased when receiving a compliment, and to wawe it away (ignoring it or adding some self-depreciating comment). I’ve been working on that for a long time, and I’m more accepting now.
I couldn’t tell why I feel this way. It could be related to my upbringing, since compliments were extremely rare, and depreciation common at the slighest hint of pride (say, mentionning that I had the best grades at school would result in some sort of “cold shower”, not in being congratulated. I’ve since heard my mother doing the same with her grand-children). But it’s just an hypothesis.
I would add that I rarely compliment other people, either. I’ve been working on that too.
