I’m a female, and the love of my life for all these many years is a beauty,… he’s handsome and carries himself well, (things like this) - and I can’t help but tell him how I see him! He enjoys compliments on his appearance, and I think this is important for woman to know about; maybe some women just haven’t known the impact of the spoken thought - how nice it is to hear!
Also, people speak with their eyes. You can feel them liking your looks, and still, it seems more special when words are spoken. Especially between lovers.
I’m glad who you are with now tells you these things, Quasi…
I think you are a very sweet person, too. I notice your kindness here to people, and your humor. I’ll always remember your words of encouragement to me many posts ago, so I figure handsome is as handsome behaves also!
It’s always nice to hear it especially if I made an effort in the looks, and I tell her all the time. However if she never made a comment about my looks I probably would care but that’s me. On the other hand if I got no complements about anything it probably drive me nuts.
Most complements I get are for Cooking for fixing something, which is just fine with me.
Hmmm. I dunno. Actually, I’m not sure my ex-GF ever told me I’m handsome. Then, again, I’m not, so maybe that isn’t a bad thing. On the other hand, genuine compliments of any sort were few and far between.
Other than a few times when I’ve gotten dressed up in a suit or tux, or gotten a new haircut, I can’t remember having gotten any compliments on my appearance in a long, long time. And, I don’t think it really mattered who was inside the suit. It was really the suit that she liked, or the haircut she approved of.
I can’t say I was ever consciously aware of this, but maybe on some level, I felt the lack.
Quasimodem, I think your feelings were perfectly natural. For the last 15 years or so, my wife has been very stingy with the compliments. Ego-wise, I’m pretty much your standard issue guy, so it took a few years to notice, but by now it really bothers me. The closest she comes to compliments are compliments of the variety Davebear mentions.
For a long time, I just assumed women did not find me attractive. Like Quasi, a few women at work have indicated otherwise, so now I don’t know what to think. Last winter, I finally had enough and let her know. She was better for a few months, because she does care, but now everything is back to “normal”. During those months where she did try, it seemed forced, like because I had made a big deal of it she had to remember to compliment me once a day.
So ya, I’d say that at least for this guy, compliments are important. It wouldn’t take too many a year to float my boat. That said, actions are more important than words. The problem with relying on actions, is that over the course of a 20 year relationship, ardor naturally waxes and wanes. Knowing I can more easily get the AHunter3 reaction outside my marriage than in, is causing a bigger strain.
Point well taken and appreciated. I tend to be a poor communicator in a relationship, and try not to “rock the boat” if I can help it. I guess I wondered about it, but the compliments I get from this new lady and the co-worker just tickled my radar to the point where I decided to post this.
