I’d like to have a vasectomy soon, but my main concern is (well, duh) the pain - namely, how bad it is and how long it takes to go away. My issue is that I don’t have a car, I ride a bicycle everywhere. How long am I gonna be out of action for?
(I did read this amusing/alarming tale, couldn’t find much else so I’m taking that as a good sign.)
It is pretty mild. I was sore for a couple of days. I think I drove myself home after the procedure, and I went trout fishing two or threee days after the surgery. I was able to wade the river just fine, but climbing in and out of the stream was a little more painful. You may have some discomfort for a few days at most, based on my experience. Of course, YMMV.
I don’t remember being sore at all. That was quite a few years ago though. It’s not like they are cutting any major support tissue in there. The thought of someone wielding a knife in that area is kinda creepy but the actual event is no big deal.
Nothing at all to worry about…
Went in on a Friday afternoon, snip, spent week end laying around… pain was WAY less than even a mild testicle squeeze (as a cyclist you probably get worse every day just hitting bumps, pot hoiles, etc). Tylenol was all I needed.
(HINT: Wear or take loose, baggy sweat pants with you, after the surgury, you wont want anything tight fitting…).
BTW, you can have slogan buttons made…
“I am a XMAS tree - the balls are for decoration only”
“Now offering semin lite!”
Best of luck!
To the OP: well, go get a vasectomy then!
Had mine on Friday afternoon and once the local wore off, it kind of felt like a dull painful nauseating sensation. Yes, I did the bag of frozen peas on my crotch thing, then I think a Vicodin or something (which I hated), then just took it easy on Saturday and Sunday. Back to normal on Monday and back in the saddle, as it were, on Tuesday.
By the way, unlike the poster above I’d recommend some nice snug undies to hold the boys firmly for a few days. I usually wear boxers but to just let the stones hang freely was very uncomfortable. My wife bought me a couple pairs of Euro-style marble sacks to get me through the weekend.
Wear loose pants, but tight undies. I’m a boxer guy and when I had it done I quickly switched to briefs for the recovery period. You DON"T want any swayin’ during the healing process. Think gentle cradling.
As to the pain, no biggie. Lotus is right…you’ve been racked worse. It’s not that internal ache-type pain, it’s a surface cut. Skin pain. Man up and go.
When my dad had his done, he said it didn’t hurt much at all. The doctor warned him not to lift anything heavy for a week or so. Of course he decided to lift a box of paper that weighed about 40 lbs 2 days after the surgery anyways. Something kinda “popped” down there and he went down hard. Took him 3-4 days of bed-rest to recover from that. So if you’re planning to re-arrange furniture or something, do that before the surgery. 
Super easy. I went in on a Friday, the Doctor told a few stupid jokes while snipping and I was out of there in under an hour. For me the pain was hardly worth mentioning and I was ready for sex in three days but it turns out that the boys weren’t…ouch.
The vasectomy itself didn’t really bother me. I had a reversal a couple of days ago though, that one hurts a fair bit more!
The first thing I noticed when I went in for mine was that the doctor was deaf. I thought if there was ever a time I wanted someone to hear me, it’s while they were approaching that area with sharp instruments. As soon as he started, I tapped him on the shoulder and mouthed as clearly as possible “I-CAN-FEEL-THAT.” He waited a few more minutes for the local to kick in better. Once I knew I was completely numb, I relaxed, sat back, and enjoyed the soothing scent of my burning ball flesh.
I recovered rather quickly. I didn’t use any drugs (wasn’t offered any), but did use the frozen bag of vegetables, which I really hope we didn’t wind up eating.
I walked home (2/3 mile) after mine. Mildly sore the next day but as soon as I was immersed in a book or listening to music or something, I wasn’t noticing it.
Worst part of the whole experience was the day before the vasectomy; the doc was a “shave it yourself” kinda guy and gave me a home shaving kit; the territory was unaccustomed to sharp metal of any sort and I got a rude case of razor burn. Fortunately that did not last, either.
I had a procedue they call a “no-scalpel vasectomy.” I’m not sure if it’s available everywhere but there are a couple of clinics here in Chicago that do them. They basically poke a hole in your sac w/ sharp scissors and then spread it open a little to get access to the tubes. They had me take a couple of valium ahead of time so I was nice and relaxed. Procedure took very little time and I was not sore at all the next day.
The only man I’ve ever known who has serious issues was an unfortunate fellow who suffered a post-surgical infection. Even then, it wasn’t the pain the drove him back to the doctor but his wife who realized things were not healing as they should. Said infection easily treated and everything just fine in a matter of days.
So even in a less than ideal case it’s apparently not hideous. Follow directions, use it as an excuse to take it easy for a couple days, and in the unlikely event things do not go perfectly simply return to the doctor at any sign of fever, swelling or other symptoms. From what I’ve been able to tell there is more mental/emotional distress than physical (The balls! Protect the balls!) but guys are tough enough to handle it.
I’ve had two. The first was an experimental procedure for a new technique for use in third world non-sterilizable environments. Was great. Flew to Paris two days later. Walked around the city not a problem. My sperm count was 0 at 3 months but back to half-normal at 6 months.
So round 2, the “standard” american procedure. It worked as expected. No real pain, but I had one testicle swell up to small grapefruit size. Not painful, but really freaking annoying. It took three months to go back to normal. They believe that the double vasectomy messed up a vein, and I’m a bleeder anyway.
Would do it again in a heartbeat.
Now, my words of warning, the first two times you pump one out afterward, do it in the dark, in the shower. You just don’t want to know. I am not joking, just do it in the dark.
Another ‘dull ache for a couple days’ guy. It kind of felt like he had snuck a ball bearing in my lower intestine for a couple days. You knew something had gone on down there, but not much actual pain. I would say that I was pretty much pain free within 3-4 days and couldn’t feel that I had had an operation by about a week.
A friend of mine said the only pain problems he had were the local into the each testicle, which he said feels exactly like getting punched in the nut with a sharp needle. He also said watching the little whiff of smoke curl up from down there when they cauterized him was surreal, but other than those two things it was easy sailing after the second day.
Another ‘nothin to it’ vote here. Though the boys did turn black and blue for a bit and looked like they should hurt like hell.
Had mine on a friday and went back to work on monday.
Can we all agree that no matter the subject, this sentence should have never been written?
shudder
My experience exactly. My wife had a couple bags of frozen peas ready to go but they were not needed at all. I even did a good bit of walking the next couple of days with nothing more than a little tenderness.
My doc recommended against this, claiming that the risk of spontaneous reversal is greater because after the vas is snipped there is little control over where the ends fall.
He tucked mine away in opposite directions and said he’s never had a spontaneous reversal in 20+ years of using this method. YMMV, of course.