Yes, you’re right, we *should * all act as if our relationships will fail at some point. I have learnt my lesson; Never trust a partner ever again!
I’m sorry but saying, effectively, “If he posts naked photos of her online it’s her fault for taking them in the first place” is pretty much equivalent to “But she carried a purse with her, officer! What could I do but steal it?”
Ahem, looks more like a strawman than a LoadedDog to me.
I thought posting embarrassing nude pics of your ex was what the Internet was FOR???
And I would recommend just the opposite, provided you’re young and reasonably attractive. Not spreading them around the Internet, but take those pictures. Then when you get to be an old bat like me you can take them to your plastic surgeon and say, “See that body? I want it back. Make it happen.”
I found my husband’s stash of pics of his ex in a box. I burned them, and when he asked about the box, I told him I burned them. He said that was fine, that he had been planning to.
Lucky for him that he reacted that way. I had been prepping myself for a showdown at High Noon.
Damn, some of you need to step out and have a smoke or pour yourself a glass of something neat over ice, hell, even rake patterns into sand while pondering nothingness–just calm down! :eek:
It strikes me as more than a little counterproductive to be jeering at the OP and accusing him of being obsessive. It’s well within the realm of possibility that six months might not be enough time if a breakup hits you hard enough, wouldn’t you agree? Why read stalking into this as opposed to, say, trying to vent?
Gotta say, though, Roboto, you are indeed edging up on a real dick thing to do, so I can’t blame people for at least being inclined to jump on you. But I also can totally relate to how you’re feeling. Was the relationship some sort of milestone for you? How long were you guys together? I’m also under the impression that things didn’t end well.
Whatever the case, I agree with Happy Scrappy Hero Pup and sturmhauke. Get rid of the picture if you hate her as much as it seems. I wouldn’t even go through the ritual of burning it. Tear it up if you want, but doing anything else is gonna keep dragging you back to this emotional morass you’re in. It’ll help you move on. Trust me.
Yeah - burn it. Make a ritual of it. 's what I did. However, it took a year of getting over it to be able to get to that point. That’s not pathetic if you get hit hard, or if it’s your first serious relationship.
Note to everyone who replied to me directly: I did suggest he not act out on his emotions because it would be decidedly uncool and could land him in hot water. But I don’t like people to talk down to someone because he’s having a perfectly normal reaction to such a find. So long as he doesn’t act out on them, we’re cool. And honestly, if he didn’t act out on them, he’d be a better person than I because I am a bitch like that.
~Tasha
After a break up, I prefer an ex to disappear from the face of the Earth. If I found an old pic of any part of his body, I would destroy it immediately.
I logged into friends reuinted for the first time in 5 years recently and found a year-old message from an ex of 20 years ago. Would anyone feel triumphant over that? Personally, I felt sick, I hate blasts from the past.
You know, in a more civilized era, like thirty years ago, men didn’t take nude photos of their girlfriends.
They trained themselves in oil-painting and persuaded their girlfriends to sit for nude portraits. I have several large full-frontal-nude paintings of my ex-, very tasteful but very explicit anatomically, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to burn them, or burn my photos of them, or restrain myself from including them in my portfolio when I take it around to galleries.
This is mainly theoretical, since I only rarely show my paintings in public anymore, more out of laziness than any other motive, and the paintings have been rolled up in my storage closet for years, but in theory what’s the difference? I have a model’s release, and these paintings are my work. Is there a difference between a nude that took a 1/100 of a second to create and one that took three weeks? Why?
Yahoo Groups awaits!
Information wants to be free!
Free her boobies!
Seriously. As a friend of mine said the other day as she snapped some (not-nude) photos of my boobs, “Honey, we’re getting up there. You’ve got to document that fabulousness NOW!!!”
For what it’s worth, I took **Roboto’s ** threats to post the pictures as a joke. If I’m wrong, then I’ll offer a heartfelt “Don’t do that.”, but I’m willing to extend the benefit of the doubt here.
So did I. I thought it was more of a “MUWAHAHAHAHA!!!” moment than any serious threat of actually doing it.
Of course, 10 years ago if you took pics of yourself nude, the idea of them being seen by anyone other than who you made them for (and his immediate friendship circle) was unlikely. Now, it’s a matter of seconds for the whole world to have potential access to them.
It’s just something you have to seriously consider if you’re going to do it. Documentation of your current state of beauty is one thing, but it could so easily get out, and ruin family relationships, friendships, job prospects… It’s a risk, though perhaps a small one, that needs to be in your mind.
You’ve obviously forgotten the introduction of the Poloroid camera in the 1950’s.
When I read the thread title, I thought he was talking to me.
Phew! What a relief to know it was about his ex-girlfriend.
Here’s an interesting question, though. With the prevalence of women/men taking pictures of themselves nude, don’t you think they’d likely get drowned out in the cacophony of all the pictures of breasts on the 'net?
Based on your description, she doesn’t sound like the type to care.
I so totally do NOT “get” this mindset. I have never had these kind of feelings toward an ex. I have always remained fond of my ex boyfriends. I’ve kept in contact with many of them. In fact, one of the people I chat online most often with is an old boyfriend from high school. When my boyfriend and I went to Tucson this Chrismas (my hometown) we went to lunch with a guy that I dated for four years, back in the day. My boyfriend and I have also stayed at my ex-husband’s house when we were in town there. Oh yeah, and we all (all=me, my boyfriend, my son, my ex-husband) went to a Roger Waters concert together, too.
It seems to me that if you hate your ex that much, you are making bad decisions about who to date. Just because reasons come up that I no longer am compatible as a partner for a person doesn’t change the fact that they are a person who had enough good qualities for me to want to be with them in the first place.
Put the picture up on the internet and you are telling the world that she dumped you. Otherwise, why seek revenge?
And we can guess why.
30 years ago you would have scratched her name and phone number in the restroom of a bowling alley with a note: “Looking for a good time? Call _____”.
Knock it off. She’s gone. The cure for that is a better girlfriend.
Roboto, there are some things I really wish I could say to you about this, but Board policy prohibits it. Suffice it to say that “don’t count on getting any respect from me” is a big understatement.
Dude, people have been taking photos of naked girls since the camera was invented. And, yeah, some of those girls posing for the photographers either were involved with them or went to be involved with them. If I’ve learned anything in class this semester, two of which involve the roots of pornography in the western world, guys have been talking their girlfriends into taking off their clothes and posing since there was art. People have been snapping naked photos since the invention of the personal camera.
Unless, of course, that entire post was very tongue-in-cheek.