HAARP and cold weather

There clearly has to be someone I can blame for this. Is this a wide conspiracy to sell more natural gas, mittens? I can’t stand the cold and I want answers. TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE as a natural occurrence. Please help me.

“Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he’s warm for the rest of his life.” – Belkar Bitterleaf

Lots of shit happens as natural occurrences. The dinosaurs being killed off, the ice ages, plagues, extinction, earthquakes, tsunamis.

Get the fuck over it.

Why do you think Gov. Romney has anything to do with it?

Note sure if this is a joke pitting or if it’s for real. In case you are serious, of course it can be (and I am quite sure is) a natural occurence. See the Little Ice Age - not saying that’s what we are heading into again, just using it as TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE example of a natural occurence.

God knows you touch yourself at night.

Here.

So I’m safe in the daytime? Whew.

I’ve made a long scientific study of this cold conspiracy. I eventually came to the conclusion that it is winter and therefore cold.

You might think that’s the end of it. You would be wrong.

Did you know that right now in Australia it’s summer? Summer! How could they possibly have summer when we have winter? They must be behind it. Or maybe it’s the hobbits in New Zealand. Someone is to blame.

God don’t give a damn in the daytime, but those asshole cops sure like to give you a hard time for touching yourself in public.

I still want that ‘like’ button.

the mitten makers rule the world with a knitted hand.

I just really want my kid to go back to school. It feels like he hasn’t been there at all since coming off Christmas break.

xkcd

Shit, that’s it! It’s the feckin Hobbits! Damn weather controlling little big feet, interfering thrill seekers!

“Polar vortex” is definitely something you cast in an RPG and sounds way better than Blizzaga.

“…so ask your doctor about new Equipoised tablets for treating bi-polar vortex. Stop taking Equipoised immediately if you experience a sudden and drastic reversal of sexual preference or any unusual presence of coins on your eyelids…”

Winter is coming. Are you going to spit or swallow?

Fucking hobbits. I knew those shifty little bastards were up to no good. Damn you, Martin Freeman, this is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!! Somebody call Peter Dinklage and send him to New Zealand to straighten this shit out.

…I told you so.

Wasn’t HAARP shut down due to budget cuts last year?