big test on tuesday
time should be more wisely spent
oh, lazy am i
chocolate chip cookies
oven-fresh, warm and yummy…
SHIT! we’re out of milk!!
Fetid laundry pile
Straight Dope on computer screen
I won’t get much done
O wasted Sunday
At least I get to spend it
With other Dopers
“Fetish laundry pile”?!?!
What kind of perv-- oh. “Fetid.”
Damn my dirty mind.
Three hours left now
Sopranos are coming soon
Better get ice cream
Monday, suck my dick
How can time pass so slowly?
Aaargh, it’s only noon!
Oh perfect woman
Caress me long distance please
Reconnect our souls.
Bitter cold wet air
Television pays my bills
Off to work I go.
Fragile faceless souls
Crafting words to touch others
Such is the Straight Dope.
Strip away facades
Sub human layers bare teeth
Feral grunting cries.Severe depression
is steadily leaving me.
I laugh here and heal.
Bargains scream from shelves
I must fight my urge to save
I hate you Best Buy
You lost my HP
Why am I the bad guy here
I hate you Best Buy
Press 1 for some help
Listen to bad Muzak now
I hate you Best Buy
Went to get refund
My car is hit in your lot
I hate you Best Buy
Odd eye Aussie man
comes from down under to ask
Who can it be now
K-Mart or Wal-Mart
where will I find the best deal
Blue light shows the way
I can haiku now
why could I not do it in school
failure in lit class
M S T 3 K
Man and bots make movie fun
How I miss Mike and Joel
I watch birds have sex
cable tv is so strange
Marlin Perkins spins
TV is vast wasteland
you ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie
Tom Green Show is on
DVD, CD
too many choices to make
ode to an 8 track
Just caught my mistake
In poem up above now
why don’t I preview
No one will read this
I am not famous enough
loneliest Doper
Damn, Mr. Blue Sky
I envy skills you have honed.
Wish I could Haiku
Haikus are like ice
Cold, calm, and sometimes really hard
my ode to Haiku
why not the Haiku
peaceful, serene, and placid
amidst this shit place
you question the haiku
why, Jacob, why here, why now?
shit boy, you are weird
no, the haiku smiles
remember, haiku is god
but so is cheeze whiz
the haiku is fun
much like big masterbation
as is everything
wow, masterbation
what the fuck is he saying?
he’s kinda cute though
Oh wow, Lynne Russell
Your eyes are freakin’ me out
Headline News is on
Hey Robert Downey
How many more chances now
even O.J. asks
There once was a man
Nantucket was his hometown
I forget the rest
I am up too late.
Class at 7 tomorrow.
I don’t want to go.
Gas prices go up
I wish I was George Dubya
Oily friends unite!
Told boss where to go
have I lost my mind, but why
Have lottery sons
Newly washed, clean dog.
Rolls in the unexpected.
Bad dog. Bad, bad dog.
I don’t respect you
Or your company, fatso.
Eat out of my butt.
My friend wrote that in in email, but it’s so worth sharing.