How about… Secretary of Female Studies?
Now hop up on the desk, so the studying can begin. Slide over, Kyth, make a little room between you two for your Monstre in Chief.
Cigar, anyone?
Heyyyyyyy… you weren’t on Nixon’s staff, were you?
Okay, I’ll put your name in the running, but just bear in mind that there will probably be some pretty stiff competition among all the other irresponsible slackers vying for the position.
Well, have we convinced you yet?
Monstre, don’t forget Draelin of the red hair and brown eyes!
Due to my vast experience in the field, I will be personally overseeing most of the Procrastination-related projects, but if you were going to get me your resume today and didn’t, you’re hired. Your first procrastination-related endeavor will be to head up the committee on reforming social security. I’ll expect a report on my desk when I’m re-elected. Or whenever…
I wanna be Secretary of Defence because good fences make good neighbors and that would bring world peace. Or at least stop all the kerfuffles with those savage Canadians. So pleeease **Monstre ** may I?
I’m thinking wrought iron, all fancy like the Victorians had. Though they’d be awful spiky to sit upon…
No, no, the iron is mine. I worked hard to become press secretary, I’ll need the right equipment.
I’ll pit my irresponsibility and my ability to slack up against any. Not only that, unlike the competition, I can be an irresponsible slacker yet look like I’m actually productive.
I’m sitting here with a desk covered in papers and a phone glued to my ear–and I haven’t actually done anything in three hours except go to lunch. Beat that.
Oh, and I deserve to be Vice Monstre because not only am I willing to make out in the Oval Office, I also bring cake. 
That settles it, you’re in.
Halfway through this thread is the first time I realized that Monstre is male. Does that mean I can be Secretary of Gender Equality?
Can you make me a good electric fence? We can put it up around Congress and juice it up next time they are in session.
Ermmm… and how long have you been thinking otherwise? Just the first half of this thread, or prior to that?
Okay, but you’ll be reporting to the Secretary of Gender Identification.
What’s really important in our administration is to focus on the present and not the dimly-remembered misconceptions of the past (which may have gone on since I first became a member).
Obfuscate! Obfuscate! Throw up all the food you ate!
Savage Canadians–! That’s it, all negotiations are OFF! buttons up blouse and storms away in a huff
Can I be Under-Secretary in charge of Cats? I’m a redhead with blue eyes.
Does the latter make you more qualified with cats, or are you just hitting on me? 
And can you do something about all these cats wandering around the White House? I don’t know who let them in, but I keep tripping over them…
I don’t know if it makes me more qualified - does hitting on you make me more qualified??
Let me clear these babies out of the Oval Office - hey - you! With the fur! Stop that! I’ll just get them settled in the Lincoln Bedroom…
I’m a weak, weak man. I’m ashamed of myself for this. But yet I have to do it. Cite?
For which part, Nik? That I’m female, sexy, or have a thing for teachers?
I should think so.
In fact, it should be known that there is no First Lady (First Monstress?). So I’ll be taking applications for First Babe(s). (And Second… and Third… and Fourth… and… you all get the gist).
How about all of the above? Not that I don’t take your word for it, of course. It’s just, in the interest of the board, one should seek facts.
(Yeah, I think she’ll buy that. It sounds so sincere. Wait, am I thinking this or typing it? I guess I’ll find out when I hit submit.)
Awwww, don’t go, Kyth. I’ll let you be Chief Secretary of Flirting.
