I am getting really fucking sick and tired of the vanity threads of “I haven’t been dragged into the Pit” and the “I was flamed in the Pit, so I’m now a true doper.” To keep those kind of threads to a minimum, I will do my damndest to appease insecurities and prepare a rant about anyone who wants one. Of course, time is a tyrant, so I may get overwhelmed (especialy with the unbelievably tediously slow search function so I can rant with actual ammunition), if anyone wants to help me out, feel free.
Since the O.P. was sufficiently roasted in his own thread, I’ll take the next in posting line to bemoan not being Pitted. The lucky first one is Jet Black. C’mon down.
Listen up, Mr. “I’m so even-handed I couldn’t offend a fly” Maybe you should quit with the self-deprecation and start with the process all mammals have done, getting a fucking spine. Take a stand for something (other than involuntary celibacy), and get some cahones. While your at it, no, you ain’t funny either.
And since I’m feeling particularly vitriolic, I’ll do another:
Also in the above thread, Guinastasia said she’s never been dragged into the pit. Well, I read the CrafterMan thread, and I’d say you definately were pitted allrighty. Just because a bunch of your long time syncophantic friends stood up for you by posting all warm cuddly stuff, doesn’t mean you were never Pitted. So quit bitching and moaning about not being bitched and moaned about, you were. Get a life, and for fuck’s sake get a new cat.
[sub]I realize it is tough to tell if someone is sarcastic or not on the board. Maybe I want to keep it that way in this thread.[/sub]
Anyone else want some of this???
Miss the spelling bees of yesteryear, my little teacher’s pet? Long for the days when your ego was bolstered by the nitpicking of others’ minor errors? Here’s a few hints for your hypocritical ass:
Repeat after me: To. To. There you go. It’s time TO politely tell…
Let’s see. I had one around here somewhere. Oh yes, here it is. It’s a spare M. Use it wisely, Waverly.
and finally:
As any idiot knows, it’s spelled SUPERfuckingrific. Look it up in that x-rated version of Mary Poppins.
Do I have to do everything for you, you lazy butt-kissing fool.
Fuck off (insert name here) you ignorant goat-felching idiot. Your views on (insert issue here) are nothing short of (racism, sexism, ageism) and your post in (insert thread here) only goes to show how incredibly stupid you are. Your mother was a (hamster, whore, rabid whore) and your father (smelled of elderberrys, shoulda just wacked it, was your brother too). I won’t waste anymore of my precious time describing how incredibly (inane, offensive, trollish) you are.
There, just cut and paste, you buffoon. I saved you the hassle of having to actually be creative, which may tax your infantile brain.
Honey, sweetie, pookie-bear. Don’t go projecting your own deepest, darkest desires on me. I think it’s perfectly clear that you’re the one who wants to get flamed, or else you wouldn’t post in my thread. I’ve reviewed some of your posts, and, for fuck’s sake woman, could you be any nicer? Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick. I expect you at my door with a box of chocolates to make me feel better after this rant. I bet IRL you kick cute little puppies and steal heart medication from senior citizens. That or else you are really a 300 pound over-the-road male trucker with a mouth like a fishwife and a mean streak a mile long. You really can’t be this nice.
Besides:
No fucking way. Take off your rose-colored glasses and look at the real world. Say it with me: Fuck You! Louder: FUCK YOU! See, ain’t it fun. Although I would have some of that spreadable love…
[sub]You make flaming you really hard you know that don’t you.[/sub]
Fuck off Slip you ignorant goat-felching idiot. Your views on my rants are nothing short of all of the above and your post in this only goes to show how incredibly stupid you are. Your mother was a rabid whore hamster and your father smelled of wacking your brother. I won’t waste anymore of my precious time describing how incredibly inoffensiveish you are.
[celestina arrives at Hamlet’s with one of her world-famous, homemade apple pies and a gallon of ice cream. The pie is still warm, and it smells GOOD. :D]
Awwww, Hamlet. Sweetie, if only it weren’t No-Flirt Day–or does that only apply to MPSIMS?–and you weren’t married, I’d really love to kiss you for that rant. You do know that by Pit standards it SUCKED, but I love you anyway. [giggle] You really couldn’t find anything at all about me to flame? You just didn’t look deep enough, dear. I’m not a 300 pound, over-the-hill, male trucker, but I do like cussin’ every now and then, nor do I kick little puppies or steal old folks heart medications. As far as saying: FUCK and FUCK YOU and FUCK ME. OH GOD. OH YEAH! OH THERE. HARDER. NO HARDER! OH YEAH, BABY. RIGHT THERE, BABY! I have done that on occasion. I still think you started this thread so that someone would flame you.
Oh, btw, I hope you like apple pie [snigger] and ice cream in place of the box of chocolates. Those chocolates were so afraid to be shut up in that box. They were crying out: EAT ME! NO, celestina, EAT ME! NO, PLEASE, EAT ME! So, I put them out of their misery. Anyhoo, I think I brought enough pie so that everyone who posts to this thread can have a slice. Even that unfortunate aardvark that you fucked. Hmmm. I don’t think Mrs. Hamlet would appreciate knowledge of that little peccadillo, but then maybe she won’t be all that surprised since it seems that she’s accustomed to waking up to find foreign objects up her butt. On second thought, Hamelt, maybe you should just let that aardvark go. I’m sure a zoo would give it a nice home, and Mrs. Hamlet would rest a little easier . . .
I was just wondering and all . . .