You came and left exactly one year ago today. You never had a chance to cry, because your lungs didn’t work. We never got to hear your voice. But that’s okay. I bet you’re singing somewhere now. We had so many plans for you. So many hopes and dreams. But now you’re lying in that cemetary, surrounded by all those other kids. Mommy still has a hard time with it, sometimes. She doesn’t like me to see it, but I do. I have a hard time sometimes too. I don’t like mommy to see it, but I’m sure she does. Your brother should be here soon. Mommy thinks it would be nice if he came today, actually. Make the day kind of bittersweet, rather than just bitter. I think he should wait longer, though. This should just be your day, I think. You earned that. We miss you, baby. Te amo, mijita. Tu eres en mi corazon para siempre, estrellita.
En Memoriam
Delilah Hiraga Sotomayor Guarnero de Martinez
31 July 2000 10:05AM - 10:15AM
Please accept my apologies, darian00. I had assumed the post was just your run of the mill birthday wish for a friend or someone on the boards. I did not read your post until you posted a second thread. Please accept my condolences on your loss, and congratulations on the imminent arrival of your son.
Me too, darian. I don’t open birthday threads at all unless they’re for a poster that I’ve corresponded with pretty closely. Thinking it was a standard birthday thread, I didn’t even open this one, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about your loss.
I think it’s nice that you remember her day. My friends lost their baby after learning he had a condition that was incompatible with life. They had to go through labor and delivery knowing he wouldn’t make it. They made a baby book for him, and they always remember their hopes for him. They’ve welcomed a new healthy baby girl in their lives, but they always remember their first son.
darian, I rarely read MPSIMS, so I didn’t see this until you posted elsewhere. As late as this is, happy birthday, Delilah, and best wishes for your brother.
Sweetie, you wil lsee alot of views to this and not alot of replies, itstoo hard, I cantsayanything because I haveno words for you, I cant fathom the depth of your pain, I dont know how the hell you cope, I have nothing comforting to say, and threads like this make me sad beyond words. I am not alone.
For all of those dopers who cant reply due to a lack of words, we are sorry.
I didn’t open this thread because I thought it was simply a birthday thread. If I had known what it was about I would have said I’m sorry about your baby. I know this last year has to have been the worst of your life and you aren’t gonna rest safely until your new wee one is with you. My son died before birth 9 years ago this past April. It still hurts. It won’t stop hurting but it will get easier.
And even when you have the new wee one with you, it is still going to be hard in some ways. I remember how it was when my son was born 13 months after his brother died.
I hope all goes well with this baby for you and your wife.
I’m very sorry, darian00. Like some of the others, I didn’t notice this or know what it was until your other thread.
My then-wife miscarried in early 1997. We went in for her to have an ultrasound–it was going to be the first time I got to see my baby, since I hadn’t been able to be with her previously. But there was no longer any heartbeat–she had died.
(I say “she,” though technically it was too early for them to determine gender. But I always knew–I knew from the first. Her name was Lorelie Lee, and she never technically existed, but she still exists for me.)
(Maybe you think it’s silly to grieve for a fetus that was too little developed to tell gender. I’ve told myself that–I’ve told myself that for four and a half years. Unfortunately, telling myself doesn’t work. At all. And I know it’s the same for my ex-wife, too.)
So I know something of how you feel, and you and your wife have my deepest sympathy. Best of luck and wishes for your new baby.
I believe there is no greater pain than that from the loss of a child. Going on from there is the bravest thing anyone ever does. My sympathy for your loss, a salute to your courage, and congratulations on the soon-to-be birth of your son.
darian, I think I noticed this thread last week, but didn’t open it, thinking it was another birthday thread. If I had known, I would have read it sooner.
I have no idea what to say about your loss. I know family members that have dealt with the loss of a baby shortly after birth, but I know I can’t understand the pain. I doubt anything I say would make you feel better.
Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your daughter. I don’t know if you are religious at all, but I hope you won’t mind if I say a short prayer for your baby girl. Even though nothing could ever diminish the pain of losing your child, I do wish your family much love and happiness in the years to come.
