First off, let me just say here and now that this is neither Mundane nor pointless, but I’m pretty sure this is where it belongs. If I’m wrong then feel free to move it where ever.
That said I’d like to talk about my child for a moment. Some of you will remember a long while ago I posted that my wife and I were pregnant, asked about names, horror stories stuff like that. I was a scared parent-to-be. In many ways, I still am. I’d like to start with the really good news. On September 28th at 5:15 am Montana Micala was born. Her first name was the one name in the list we went through with the families that everybody liked. The middle name comes from my wifes grandfather who passed away recently. The last name is irrelevant and will not be discussed here for obvious internet reasons. She was born perfectly formed as far as we know. She was more beautiful than anything I have ever seen in my entire life. She still is. We held her as much as we could and in those moments I knew and still know a depth of pride I have never been privy to before. I helped create her. I am part of her. She is part of me. Always will be. I love her so fiercely that it nearly brings me to my knees. She was the first child, grandchild and great grandchild of our families. She is…my daughter.
Now we come to the bad news. And the reason I need to talk to you about her. Montana was stillborn. We don’t know why yet, the heartbeat was strong and steady until moments before her mother gave the last push. Montana never drew in a single breath of air. Never saw me or her mother from outside. Never opened her beautiful blue eyes. And yet, she is my daughter and still I love her. We are determined that should we have children, and we believe that someday we will, they will come to know their sister. We want to be able to talk about our child. She is not a secret to be kept, not a shameful past that we must hide from. She is our daughter, she was perfect and beautiful. And that’s why I needed to talk to you about her. So that you may know that she exists and that I am proud of her. That I love her. That she had my chin and her mothers nose. That those precious few times that we got to hold her tiny, cold body were among the most peaceful of my entire life. I also want you to know that we were shocked and gratified when over 170 people showed up for her funeral. She taught me that I have more friends than I will ever know. And that my closest friends are more dear to me now than ever before. She taught me how to love somebody so tremendously and selflessly that it hurts. She brought my wifes and my families closer than they have ever been. She made my wife and I love each other more perfectly than we ever did. She did all of this without ever drawing a breath. She is an angel. If ever there was one, no matter what your personal description. This is my child. And I love her. Thank you for listening.
Buliwyf