You’re 18 now, so Jolly Natality Perfect Child™. On the other hand, you’re 18 so your folks aren’t contractually obligated to put up with you any more. Think about it- you throw one too many hissy fits and your butt’s on the pavement girly. It’s a short slide to cheap booze and tattoos, shimmying your pulchritude in some divey bar for rent money. Not a pretty picture.
If I were you, I’d take my parents out for a fancy dinner just to say “Thanks for being the best parents EVER!” But that’s me. You do what you want.
And would it kill you to clean your room once in a while?
Happy Anniversary of Your Birth.
Yer pal,
Rue.
P.S. I spelled “pulchritude” right the first time. Didn’t have to look it up or nuthin’. Ha!
Aw, Rue! You’re so sweet! I shall have to point her to this thread, since she never rejoined after the big board crash. I did call her before she left for school and I sang to her - I don’t think she appreciated it nearly as much as she should.
Incidentally, her first plans as a legal adult include buying lottery tickets. That’s my girl! She’s flying to Baltimore tonight to spend the weekend with her dad, and I know she wants to get some MegaMoney or whatever they call it up there. Makes a mother proud… <sniff sniff>
Oh yeah, and that part about dinner - ever since she got a job, we’ve none-too-subtly suggested that it’d be nice to take Mom and Dad out to dinner. Guess we were too subtle. Maybe she’ll pick up on your message.
This is obviously a birthday thread. It says so right in the title. So it’s not like some big bait-and-switch I pulled making you thnk it was a birthday thread and then I go on about the tricycle I had when I was 4. (It was red and had a silver horn.)
And you know pretty much who it’s for too. “FairyChat______” lets you know it has something to do with our own FairyChatMom. How many other “FairyChat_____” Dopers we got anyway? And if you know who FairyChatMom is, you know who her PerfectChild™ is too. I mean she goes on and on about how good she is and how smart she is and what a lovely child she is blah, blah, blah.
And then I see how many people pop in here and then split and don’t say nuthin’. Come on! You’re just toying with the emotions of a Young Lady. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Here. I’ll help:
Happy Birthday PerfectChild™
Now you can just cut and paste your heartfelt birthday wishes in the reply box at the bottom of the thread. No fuss, no muss. Very simple, very easy.
If you want, you can even cut and paste her some flowers:
@}----------
This birthday cheer brought to you curtesy of Bear in the Big Blue House
18 - wow.
Today seems like a perfect day for FCM to extoll the virtues of the perfect child and to get taken out for dinner for the incredible sacrifices she made (And FCD too except they aren’t in the same state! ) over the last 18 years as well as the effort she undertook 18 years ago (and the nine months prior to that date) to bring the perfect child into this world!
She’s got a chance to take Dad out to dinner - he’ll be picking her up at the airport around 7 or so. She and I will have to have a celebration after she gets back.
Hey! Happy birthday! Hope you have a great day! Go register to vote, by lotto tickets and join the Army/Navy/Air Force/Marines! Hell, drive up to Canada and have a legal drink! Look at all these exclamation points I got for you! I hope you like them, it’s all I could afford!
Seriously, I hope you have (had) a great day, and good luck with whatever’s next.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FAIRYCHAT DAUGHTER!!!
Approximate Phonetic Chinese Version of “Happy Birthday”: (thanks, Nathan!)
“Guung juuk nay fook sow yuen teen tsai, hing hong nay sun sun fie lok. Leen leen doe yao gum yut, suuy doe yao gum jzew, guung hay nay! Guung hay nay!!!”
Approximate English Translation of Above:
“Congrats on this good day of fortune, where we can all gather together. Wishing you a very happy birthday. Every year, this wondrous day arrives; Always, this wondrous time comes. Congratulations! Congratulations!”
Hope you have a good one today, and yes… take your parents out to dinner if you have any money left after spending it all on lotto tix!
One slip of the finger and I find myself defending my post to [b/]FairyChatMom** and paperbackwriter.
Sheesh. I’m old enough to be the PerfectChild’s* father. Techically. I would have had to get busy during a school assembly in my junior year of high school, but it’s still possible, dammit. The girls were just throwing themselves at me back then.
Seriously. Stop laughing.
Anyway, happy birthday again, youngster. If you want a job when you graduate UCF, don’t come looking at me. I’m searching too. Just for curiosity’s sake.
*She still hasn’t re-registered. Is she too good for us, or what? On second thought, don’t answer that.
) over the last 18 years as well as the effort she undertook 18 years ago (and the nine months prior to that date) to bring the perfect child into this world!