I’m sitting at my computer (this would be a week ago - the 24th) and I start hearing a sort of crackling sound. I’m thinking - oh great, a fire’s starting somewhere? Then I look down the hall and in the bathroom there’s water raining, fucking showering, down from the ceiling fan, splashing all over the toilet and floor, as well as water dripping down the walls just outside the can, also coming from the ceiling.
As I quickly deduce there’s some kind of flood in progress coming from the apartment above, I place a duvet as best I can over the offending area and sprint three stairs at a time up to her apartment. I’m knocking away frantically and can hear the 90-year-old lady in her almost indiscernible fucking Scottish brogue going “am coo-ming, am coo-ming”.
A fortnight later she finally gets to the fucking door, but barely opens it a crack, and when I tell her there’s a flood in her place that’s flooding down into mine, she responds that everything’s fine, prompting me to gently push the door open carefully, so as not to bowl her over, but to make sure to enter the fuck in there, and pronto, and find the source, which was behind a closed door, turning out to be the bathroom.
A bath had been drawn, but not turned off.
“Oooo ah guess meh daughta leeeft it goo-in.” And sure enough her daughter arrived on the scene, saying she “only briefly” stepped out, but completely forgot to turn off the bath. The fucking idiot said she was in real estate and knew how to handle all these types of things, and in the ensuing couple of hours, (occasionally conversing with her and Les, my downstairs neighbour, whose apartment also got flooded, as did the main entrance foyer below him), Les and I came to conclusion what a lying, petty, paranoid, despicable useless POS this real estate harridan was. Several times we caught her up in lies, as well as story changes within a space of ten minutes.
So for the last week I’ve had two of those heavy duty blue, snail-shaped carpet blowers blasting away in my apartment, like, 24-fucking-7 (as well this boxy, only-slightly-less-louder dehumidifier). This means I’ve had the sounds of fans! fans! fans! blasting their way constantly into and through my skull for the past week. There’s been the odd night where I’m like, ok, fuck this, and turn them off so I can sleep.
And now it looks like real estate lady might actually be moving in with her.:mad: