I like being single but that doesn’t mean I don’t like going out on dates. But these days, dates are more of a fun thing to do. I no longer get that heart fluttering euphoric sensation wherein your fill yourself with hope at the possibility of a budding romance. To me, it’s just a fun night out. Good company, good times.
I think the main reason I don’t find myself in a relationship is I have my routines and to be frank, I’m not willing to give up those routines to bring someone new into my life. I admit, this is a selfish trait.
Even though I feel happy, I sometimes wonder if on some level, it’s kind of fucked up that I’m not willing to give up my “routines” in favor of a relationship. Because what are my routines really?
It’s, watching what I want on the TV, always having the best seat in the house to watch said TV, always eating what I want for dinner, taking naps when I want, quiet reading time when I want and if I want to get hammered on a Sunday afternoon while binge watching ST: DS9 in my PJs, well, all that’s okay too.
There’s a small part of me that thinks these are all superficial things and I sometimes wonder if I’m missing out on the human experience.