Happy Valentine's Day, Your Kid is Sick

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

swampy has already volunteered to be our over-the-top gay decorator, promising me hissy fits in front of the neighbors. However, much as I love Rue, I don’t think he’s quite up to the challenge of this particular construction project. No, my sweetie and I will be building as much as we can, knowing that despite the arguments that erupted when we hung wallpaper together, we can do construction work while maintaining marital bliss. No, seriously! Quit sniggering!!

Of course, anyone who shows up with their own toolbelt and hammer will be put to work post-haste.

22

I see, swampy, that you snuck in while I was posting my last. I promise you we haven’t picked out knobs or door pulls yet, although we decided we favor pewter or antique bronze-look over shiny brass. We also found a few wall sconces that we absolutely LURVE!! And we’ve got the perfect wall for sconces!

As for the bathrooms, keep the tile to a minimum. It’s an economy issue. I’m going to spend the money on corian countertops in the kitchen and brick or stone on the exterior rather than fancy tilework in the bathrooms. Unless I hit the lottery - then the whole picture changes…

23

Well thanks for the welcome back FCM, it’s good to be back in the old MMP.

Kalessa, I wasn’t thinking that the Smuckers jar would be the end of it, I was mainly curious at how long it might take to fill it up. 10 minutes? 10 hours? Who knows? And now, thanks to welbywife, the world will never know.

Kind of disheartening, isn’t it?

24

Jeez welby… Snot Preserves? Just like Grandma used to make? Hey, I must be coming down with something too because now there’s barf everywhere here as well.

“Waiter, there’s dentures in my jelly.”
Glad to hear Soupo’s better, Rue. Don’t want him taxing on you, just his Uncle.

25

Yeah Slort, that sounds like a great idea, me helping to build a house. I’m so very handy and all. Why, just last week I had a little electrical work to do…

Have you ever looked at the switches on your walls? The ones that turn on and off your lights? I mean REALLY looked at them? You should. Right now. I’ll wait. Did you notice the little raised box around the actual switch? Trust me, it’s there. Or at least it should be.

Well, since I live in a “pre-owned” house, some of the little boxes around our switches were cracked off. Four of them, actually. So I decided to fix them. Because I’m handy that way.

Off I went to the hardware store for my supplies. I needed one regular wall switch (in white) and three of those switches you have where two of them run one light. You know, if the light is off, you just flick whichever switch you’re nearest and it comes on or if you want it off it doesn’t matter which switch you use. I needed three of those switches (in cream). Did you know they are called “three way switches”? Yeah, they are as it turns out. Next step, find which breaker turns off the juice to the switches I’m working on. I could buy a pair of really thick rubber gloves. I think that would work too. Not that I’m itchin’ to try it of nuthin’. So far, so good. (It would have been quicker just to shut the power off to the whole house. But Katcha was watching cartoons and I didn’t need to hear him carrying on.)

Now, before I put in the new switch, I have to take out the old one. No prob. Since I looked at the new three way switches, I knew there was going to be an extra screw back there in the wall which wasn’t back in the wall once I was ready to disconnect the wires. Screw, screw, screw, three wires undone. You know what I should have done? Pay attention to which screw held which wire. But it seemed easy enough. There were three wires and three screws. (Four really, but one was for the “ground”.) Two of the wires were the same (black) and one was different (red). Two of the screws were the same and one was different. So it semed to make sence that the two screws that were the same would take the two wires that were the same. Right? That’s like logic or something. Only, of course, that’s not the way it works. See, one of the black wires and the red wire go to the same looking screws and the other black wire goes to the screw that looks different. (And it’s marked “common”.)

Had I but known.

Hooking the switch up with the same looking wires into the same looking screws does not make your lights work right. They will work, just it’s hard to tell which way you need the switches to gp to make the light come on and which way they have to be to make it go off. Not an experiment you want to me mucking with in the dark one night when the boys are having bad dreams and you have to get all the way across the hall without tripping over a dog and killing yourself. So, after I had the wires hooked up wrong, I moved them around. Also into a wrong configuration. This really blew. Not a circuit braker, just generally. Luckily, I’m smarter than you think. We have another set of double switches on one light. So I went to that one and took the plate off and peered into the darkness. Then I got a flashlight so I could see something useful.

OH!!!

The red and the black wires that come out of the same wire bundle get stuck on the two screws that are the same. The oddball black wire goes on the oddball screw. Easy-peasy. So finally I got both the switches hooked up to the light circuit right. After 900 trips up and down the starirs to flick the breakers on and off so I could check the switches and see if I had them hooked up right. Wow, that was a fun job!

But now all my light switches have a good raised plastic box around them.
-Rue. (friend of Redi Kilowatt)

26

I don’t do electrical, plumbing or painting (although I would paint if someone did all the prep work and all the clean-up). I’ll hammer things, and I can put together kit furniture with the best of them (as long as you don’t mind the doors not quite closing right). Outside, I’ll pull things up out of the garden, but I don’t like planting stuff. I really need a helpmate. I’m quite competent at about half the things I need to be competent at (as a homeowner), I need someone to round out my skills.

Or the added income to pay to have them done. Thank you, plumbers, electricians, painters, carpenters and general handypersons–your skills make my life easier and your deserve the money you charge.

Think that will get me a discount?

27

Ya see, Rue…you did all that without electrocuting yourself. That screams professional. If I did that, I’d be barbecue. In fact, why don’t you just schlep off and fix FCM’s house up? No, don’t tell her. We want this to be a surprise.

Argh. It’s truly amazing how much spyware a clueless and determined person can install on their own computers. I love my coworkers. This man had 7 extra search bars on his machine. There was actually more search bar than browser window…

28

You, obviously, have not been taking proper notes on my life. The house in question does not exist yet. In fact, we’ve not broken ground yet, or even applied for permits. This past weekend, my spousal unit and I finalized the design. So the most anyone could do now is schlep off and look at the lot where our house will sit in a year or so.

Try to pay attention from here on out, OK??

:smiley:

29

FCM, I would think that having Rue work on your non-existant house would be better than having him work on the real one, but that’s just me.

30

Good point, Kallessa! :smiley:

Then again, I bet he’s just as cute as can be in a tool belt…

… and jeans and boots and stuff. Don’t go getting all pervy on me here.

31

So, uh, FCM…? What channel is your life on? I’ve been hammering on this remote for hours now and haven’t found it yet. Is it a half hour show or a full hour? You see, I thought your post about the house not being built yet was a rerun. :slight_smile:

[sub]grumble Better not be on Pay Per View grumble [/sub]

32

“Better not be on Pay Per View”??? Do you mean to imply that my life is not worth paying to view? I see how it is…

Harumph, I say to you. Harumph!!

:stuck_out_tongue:

33

On second thought, maybe I do need a badger:

http://www.adoption.co.uk/badger/

It could help dig out the foundation for the FairyChatFamily’s new home!
C’mon—everybody get a badger! We do need badgers!

34

HA!, I say! (Which is better than what I typed the first time I tried that: “AH!” Kinda lacking, wouldn’t you say?)

I spent Valentine’s Day being embarrassedly ignored by Japanese staff who didn’t know how to talk to me (because they assume you can’t speak Japanese – which I don’t really – just a little bit). It shore is fun to sit alone in a foreign country because all your friends have significant others that they want to be with. By the way, did you know that in Japan, women give men chocolate on Valentine’s Day? It’s strange that they celebrate it at all, given that the country is something like 96% Shinto and/or Buddist. They have another holiday, which they call “White Day” (pronounced “White-o Day-eh”… I kid you not, on March 14) where men give the candy. Equal opportunity country, apparently.

And on Monday, I got sick. Very sick. High fever, swollen throat, and stuffed up (to welby’s Smucker’s Jar proportions). Did you know that if you’re out and about when you’re sick in Japan, you’re expected to wear a face mask? And did you know that you CAN’T FECKIN’ BREATH IN THOSE THINGS??? I have new respect for all of the crazy^H^H^H^H^Hbrave souls who put those things on, thinking only of their fellow citizens.

35

Just so you all know, the “pre-owned” house scam is why, at least so Rue claims, there is a big dent in his garage door. I’m pretty sure it’s on his side, not the Little Woman’s. Now I didn’t see the house before he moved in, but this just sounds so much like another one of his “stories” to me. And, at least last week, the Christmas lights were still up. I suppose that’s the fault of the previous inhabitants as well, eh? I did recommend removing all but the red and white bulbs so that they could become Valentine’s bulbs, but it was cold here last week so I doubt that happened.

Now yesterday it was warm enough that the kids insisted on going outside and rollerblading. Yep, it was right up there at 40 degrees. S’posed to get up to 50 later this week, I suppose they’ll be out in their bathing suits filling up the wading pool.

36

Wall sconces! Oh My, Yes! We must have wall sconces. One can never have too many wall sconces. And candles. Candles everywhere. It’ll just be soo fab- u-lous!

As for tile in the bathroom, we can work with a minimum here. Tile around the jacuzzi tub. We are installing a jacuzzi tub, right? We simply must have one in the master bath. Tile, also, around the humongous walk in shower, with jets on three sides and a frosted glass door. The rest we can do in paint and wallpaper border. But, no wallpaper all over the bathroom walls. It’s just waaaaaaaaaay tooooooooooo much!!! Of course we have a double vanity, right? With a big mirror over the vanity. And a- dore-a-ble fluted tulip shaped lights over the mirror.

Of course all the hardware throughout the house will be antique brass. Pewter and shiny brass are just sooooooo common! I simply cannot abide them!

I must be off now. I need fabric samples, now! We must start looking at custom drapes and upholstery material. (Of course we’re reupholstering the furniture! I thought that was a given.) Oh my, oh my oh my! There’s so much to be done! And I am parched, simply parched! Someone be a lamb and pour me a Perrier over crushed ice with a slice of lime. In a crystal goblet of course.

Ok, I’m really going to a meeting about invoicing in Macon, GA today, but FCM’s over-the-top gay decorator just insisted on making an appearance first! He gets so bitchy when he gets ignored, you know.

37

Oh jeez Kalley. “Having Rue work on your non-existant house would be better than having him work on the real one”. That hurts. (Even if it is an acurate assessment of the situation.) I can do all sorts of house-buildy things. Like walk around in my boots and toolbelt (with a hardhat for safety!) showing buttcrack. Plumber’s clevage just for the professional look.

And look! I know the lingo- “We’re waiting for that from the supplier. It’ll be here Tuesday.”

And an imported badger? Really? Wouldn’t it be hard to find the adapters for that? I mean we have perfectly good badgers right here in the good ol’ USA. And they’re bigger, so you could dig faster with fewer badgers. Yeah, we should probably go with the more efficient American badgers. Or a backhoe. But badgers are more environmentally sound. Plus after they’re done digging out your foundations we could have a barbeque!

And at the cook-out we could have a badger contest to see whose badger is the best. Like a dog show, only for badgers. I’d name my badger Noodles.

Shaddap Shibb. The garage door came that way. Really. (And YES, it is on “my side”.) But the Christmas lights, no they aren’t the previous owners’ fault. I blame the Little Woman for them. She wanted them put up. It was her idea, not mine. But, boy did they look nice for Christmas. But once Epiphany rolled around they got unplugged. But I couldn’t take them down then. It was all cold and icey. I could have fallen off the ladder and died! Died! You wouldn’t want me dead over Christmas lights, would you? Or would you?

Hey wait! It was icey. That’s weather. An act of God. So it’s God’s fault the Christmas lights are still on the house. Yeah, that’s it. God wanted our lights to stay up.

And the Little Woman picked out the snowman flag. Not me.
-Rue. (who would NEVER eat a badger, not even with gravy)

38

Swampy, you scare me.

39

Sorry, I’m way past my candle phase. No candles. Sconces=good, candles=not so good.

Nope, no tub in the master bath. But there will be a hot tub on the screen porch.

Definitely having a big shower, but the multiple showerheads are not a done deal - we’ll talk.

OK, I can live with paint and border. Two sinks for sure, but I’m thinking two separate vanities with separate mirrors. No tulip-shaped anything!! I want the lights in the bathroom to be plain - simple elegance. No tulips. Period. Pout all you want.

I happen to like pewter, or brushed nickel. You wanna go to the mat on this issue?

Too easy. Much too easy. :smiley:

No, the given is that we’ll be getting all new living room furniture. We’re giving the old stuff to the kid. So you need to be considering furniture styles as well as fabric. Hop to it!

So, my dear, are we going to be able to get together again before I flee the area? Maybe meet halfway for dinner??

40

pffffft - he’s not that scary.