I fit that description, or at least I like to think I do. But I’m married, and I absolutely despised dating, so I don’t have any advice for you on that.
Count me in as another happily rutting person. Oi, that didn’t sound right.
I don’t mind travel, but I like home. I like sitting up in bed with a good book while my husband put his head in my lap and reads his own good book. I always joke that if I won the lottery, which I don’t play, I wonder if anyone would notice. I might quit my job, but I bet I’d end up going back to work, back to a little routine.
That’s probably part of the problem. Us rutters (thanks jsgoddess) spend so much time doing the same things and going the same places that we never meet new people. In fact, I kind of like it that way, but it does mean that a guy has to practically throw himself down in front of my bicycle or sit on my book for me to notice him.
Yup. In my case, he’d have to work with me or, back when I was in school, be in one of my classes.
The Dope (and, of course to a lesser degree, other message boards) is a Wonderful Thing for us homebodies. We can meet people outside of school or work without having to go out, get dressed up, and all that.
So… you’re suggesting that the next time I’m in a bookstore, and I see a cute woman apparently of the shy bookwormy variety, I should boldly walk right up to her and… SIT ON HER BOOK?
I mean, my current strategy of attempting to psychically communicate with her from a distance and then walking away dejected isn’t working very well, but…
Maybe not sit on the book. The table perhaps? The opposite chair works well also, especially in a place with other open tables.
Yeah, that would probably be better. I get pretty protective of my books.
But psychic communication hasn’t worked on me yet, AFAIK (ooh, I better call Caveman and ask). I’m pretty clueless when it comes to flirting. I appreciate it when guys accomodate my clulessness and opf for the direct approach.
Oh, right, sure, and then we’ll just begin chatting, and perhaps a friendship will be formed. And I suppose after that, trained sheep will pilot the concorde.
A boring life you say? Not sure I can say that I relish the idea of such an existence. I would tell you that I crave new things, that I like socializing and being spontanious. My desires would unfold like a new species of flowering plant, and with then a story of adventure and heroics, a story of a life well lived, and joys beyond counting.
Actions tend to speak louder than words, however. It has become apparent that I like droll routine. I almost miss the days of coming home from work with no other worries than sitting down and reading a book. College offers many opportunities for socialization, adventure, and plain old variety. Clubs abound, bars are ubiquious, women are plentiful, beautiful and on average, very intelligent. There are two HUGE libraries (ok, I’m a dork), a common center on campus, and every opportunity to do interesting things (like study abroad). Me though? I sit at home on the weekends, have a nightcap, read a book, watch some movie on my tv in my room. I don’t even socialize with my roommates.
I would say I am apparently content with a boring life. Even in an enviroment where adventure and novelty abounds, I tend to avoid it. All the while thinking I should be doing something other than posting on a messageboard. Sort of hypocritcal, like a drunk telling himself this is his last time he gets drunk because he doesn’t like it. The next day or the next week, hes back at it. And I am back at my sedentry, stodgy lifestyle.
Ditto. I don’t usually realize they are flirting, until they make an obvious move to ask for phone # or e-mail. If they’re just making eye-contact a lot without talking (I assume this is the psychic-mind hook thing the OP mentioned), I think I have something in my hair or teeth.
The first part has happened. I’ve seen it firsthand*. Second part - after we get them trained to do that, can I have them go to work for me?
*Important caveat, do NOT attempt if she looks like she’s studying for something.
Same here.
And me. But we’ll be sure to keep them away from Hal Briston 
OK, now I know how to charm bookish but hot women, via this experimental “star-ting a convers-ation” process. I feel in need of a good bookstore trip anyhow. I’ll give it a shot and report back.
I suggest that you start the “ask the woman whose staffing needs could best be met by sheep trained to fly supersonic transport jets” thread. I think it could be fascinating!
Me, me, pick me!
Yep, I’m ‘boring’, ‘in a rut’, whatever you want to call it.
Thing is, I’m happy - and there was a period where I was so NOT happy that being happy is just great. I know what I like to do - and while that doesn’t mean I won’t try new stuff, I don’t have this need to constantly be doing things that I haven’t done before.
There is only one major thing I’d change about my current life and that’s the location and really, that’s only because of winter. And that will change eventually. I think I have fun. I’m smart, I laugh, I smile, I enjoy life. But in my own way, which I’m sure some would think is boring.
But I write this with a smile on my face, because what I realize as I write it is that I finally learned to be happy with who I am instead of always trying to be what other people think I should be.
I don’t want to repeat what everyone has already so eloquently described, except to say… Me Too!
I think life has to be a mix of “same old comforting routine” and “something new and exciting.” We just mix them differently.
I’ve been happily and faithfully married for 20 years. When I walk into any of my favorite restaurants, they greet me by name and put a pitcher of iced tea on the table. When I walk into one of my favorite bars, they know what to pour. I almost always get the porterhouse at the steakhouse, the cheeseburger at the bar, and the pepperoni & sausage pizza at the pizza place. I still watch MAS*H, Jeopardy, and Star Trek TOS. I still read a lot of the same kinds of books I read when I was in my 20s, and I still like plain vanilla ice cream (preferably with fresh berries on top). I’ve been wearing the same brands of jeans, hats, and underwear for 30 years.
On the other hand, I’ve changed careers a half-dozen times, started four companies, taught at three colleges, lived in four states, written for a diverse collection of magazines, coached soccer, competed in a rodeo, rapelled down 135 feet into a cavern, parasailed in Mexico, white-water rafted in Canada, fished for marlin in Hawaii and halibut in Alaska, photographed elephants in Tanzania, pub-crawled in Scotland, fixed computers in Germany, and a whole lot of other strange things.
I like variety and excitement, but I want to go back to my nice, quiet home afterwards and relax.
One of my biggest fears is to lead a boring life. Unfortunately, I have never had a boring life at all. It is always completely chaotic and unstable. It has been that way since I was a child. There are good parts: frequent travel all over the world, dinners with prominent people, seizing new opportunities on a whim. Then there are the bad parts. Here is a snapshot of the last year: my daughter Sophie died, my antique house was partially destroyed, I lost my job, and I was committed for Bipolar Disorder. Every year of my life is a mix of things like that (not the same ones). I would trade it for a boring life if I could get my daughter back but other than that I seemed to have gotten what I wanted. I am a thrill seeker so I tend to seek out dangerous or exciting things if things get too boring that is not the whole cause of all of this. Many times I am convinced that what is going on immediately around me would make a Soap Opera writer blush. Both mine and my wife’s family seem to attract that type of thing too so there is always death, destruction, drama, new found fortune, fame, or celebration somewhere close by.
I lead a quiet life and I like it that way. I work for a science information firm and I’m surrounded by books and journals all day. I come home and am surrounded by more books. I arrange my vacations around museums I want to visit. (Though this past year, for a radical departure, I arranged a vacation half around museums and half around a science fiction convention.) It’s a shame **MaxTheVool ** and I are on opposite sides of the continent.
Yup. There’s a lot of good stuff in this thread, but I think both Lsura and Maastricht said what I thought most clearly. I’m generally happy. I’m happiest when I’m at my most rutted. In other words, my routine grounds me and keeps me happy. I see friends and family, go out to plays or museums or concerts or movies, but not all the time. Once a week, twice max, and while “new” is okay, new for new’s sake isn’t my thing. Given the choice between some new club, or sitting at the wine bar, watching the sun set with a couple good friends working our way steadily through a bottle of wine, there’s no question where you’ll find me. Boring? To some. But that’s my balance, and it works for me.
Well, she’s at home, of course. I recommend that you go door-to-door to see if you can find her. 
But really, you know she’s out there. Lots of women like her have posted in this thread. Okay, sure, they’re all married. But they used to be single. Eventually you’ll find the right one.
You’ve gotten some good tips here. I’ll only add this: don’t kid yourself that your description of your ideal woman is actually what you want. This is what you think you want, and you know as well as I do that there’s also that ephemeral what-have-you that makes it work between people. I’m not just talking about lovers, but about friends as well. Have you ever met someone and just clicked? That is what you want, plus some of your wish list above.
And that’s the other reality, which you know as well: you will be willing to compromise for the right person. You’ll give on “creative” to get “homebody,” for example. But since you can’t tell in advance what you’re willing to give on, keep looking for the whole package. And who knows? Maybe you’ll meet her this weekend at the bookstore. (And if you do, remember who your friends are who live vicariously through you, m’kay?)
To paraphrase a line from Bukowski (I think it was in * Women*):
“Only boring people get bored”
Personally, I find my pedestrian lifestyle absolutely fascinating