All I remember from the Easter story was that Jesus died, he rose from the dead three days later, saw his shadow-which meant that we would be getting 2000 more years of war.
Does the self-sacrifice angle give him special zombie powers, rather than someone who died of natural causes? How does he say grace and keep his prey captive to eat it (I know I’d run away!) When we take communion, does it make us just a little bit zombie?
So many questions, and the bible isn’t helping at all!
Q. What the hell kind of zombie insists that we eat his flesh and drink his blood?
A. Bizarro Zombie Jesus!
As a Christian, I forgive all you “jerks.”
And, as a Christian, Zombie Jesus will forgive me for laughing my ass off at this thread!
I’m a Christian, and I love this. 
Does this put Mel Gibson in the same category as George A. Romero?
Also, has anyone linked to the Jesus the Vampire Slayer comic yet? No? Excellent.
But Jesus was way cool!
Walked on the water, swam on the land. But really, the transubstantiation kinda makes him azombie, not *a *zombie.
Actually, that’s not true. The Southpark episode where the future atheist society said “we have learned that it’s not enough to simply be atheist. You also have to be a complete dick to everyone who disagrees with you” was funny.
Admittedly I grew up athiest but…
Invisible bunny rabbits, dyed eggs, pink marshmallow bunnies that you bite the head off of…? I suspect that Easter has been defiled much further and greater by Hallmark than Mr. Excellent, and that moreover it’s most likely more about bunnies than Jesus so far as most Christians are concerned.
Invisible zombie bunnies.
Hmm. So who gets a toaster oven for turning him into a zombie? Or maybe that would worth something better, maybe a wine refrigerator or something.
If Jesus was a vampire, I’d stake my life on him.
As for zombie Jesus, we all know that zombies are instantly killed by spells in the Life family. Seeing that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, wouldn’t he have instantly un-died again?
So, does stupid hurt? :smack:
Haha! I again have coffee on my screen…
Nice, a Christian I maybe could like! 
We’re on the home stretch now!
I’ve been diligently studying Scripture to answer the crucial questions posed in this thread, and one thing has been sadly ignored: Zombie Jesus could shapeshift (Mark 16:12)! We do not know the extent of the shapeshifting (he could still be recognized while in “another form”) but still, this points to an entirely different, possibly hitherto unknown, type of zombie.
Who said I was being uptight about it?
Besides, given your hockey loyalties, you’re the last person to call anybody out for following a joke way too intensely. 
And of course God has a sense of humor. Only He would let MY team be as successful as it is.
Uh, hello? Leaf fans? I’m hardly the last person.
Shut up or I will beat you to death with this convenient hockey stick. 
It’s not like any of the Leafs will be using it for the playoffs…
As a matter of fact he would have burst into flames just as soon as he stumbled outta that cave cuz we all know vampires burst into flame on contact with sunlight.
What big glass tank anyway?
I’m Roman Catholic, and serious about it.
No particular offense taken from the thread. We live in the real world; Christ Himself knew that it would be a tough sell for anyone who didn’t have a chance to have Thomas’ … er… hands-on experience. And in the real world, legends about the person that dies and then rises again in bodily form include some kind of undead – zombies, vampires, etc.
So it’s an obvious joke.
Not particluarly creative, mind you, but obvious.
So… meh.
Do you really think you should be posting in this trhread given your username/