I don’t know about the US, where kids tend not to wear school uniforms, but here if a principal finds out kids have been making arses of themselves in public before or after school with that uniform on, he will be royally pissed off. It’s one of the main ways you can incur the wrath a headmaster. A member of the public maing a specific and credible complaint to a school principal would unleash twenty-seven levels of hell upon the kids responsible (probably with a general school assembly thrown in to put the wind up the rest of the student population). It’s the sort of thing that can result in expulsion.
Going on from Ravenman’s comment, you can stop for a second. Then you pick out the leader and say to the group, “You guys do know that he still wets his bed, don’t you?”
That’s an interesting question, Mixie. If you respond, you risk playing into their hands, and if you don’t respond, you risk them escalating just to try to get a rise out of you. I like the suggestion of walking over to the group and talking to them without anger; I think most of the kids would have an “Oh shit” moment when the adult stops what they’re doing and walks over and talks to them.
You could say something like, “Did you guys have something to say to me?” and respond calmly to whatever they come back with - “Yeah, some obscene garbage”, to which you respond, “Duly noted.” and then walk away. You’ve given them your attention, they know you’re listening, but you haven’t played into their game.
If you try it, let me know how it goes. I’ve always wanted to try something like that, myself. I usually use the “just ignore them” method.
What you’ve described is “brandish and intimidate”, which is a crime regardless of a permit. It is also different from the concept of conceal and carry. A gun is the last resort when a life is threatened.
Hampshire may have accurately described the viewpoint of the little darlings. It’s hard to say without actually witnessing it.
There are many responses that can be made if a direct threat is not felt. One of the most potent interactions to bad behavior is to calmly confront the individuals and point out the obvious. “That’s a pretty cold thing to say to a total stranger, how would you react if some kids said that to your mom?” followed quickly by: “if you wanted to ruin my day then you’ve succeeded” Throw in a slight tilt of the head, wait a few seconds, wish them well, and walk away. If said without anger or condescension then they have nowhere to go but up. If you attempt to browbeat them or lecture them you will reinforce their mob mentality. You may not know if you got through to them immediately but I would bet money that their conscience will remember what you’ve said until the day they die. And they will be better for your efforts, even if you don’t see it.
If you think they mean you harm then find a different route. Confronting a “Columbine” mentality will get your dog killed. In that instance they are literally looking for someone to strike back at because of their failures.
I’ve lectured kids and I’ve avoided them based on my gut feeling of success. I had problems with a couple of kids in my neighborhood that I solved with a quick intervention. I knew where one of them lived so I talked with his mother and I demanded an apology. It was a grudging apology but I think the confrontation worked. It was witnessed by one of the other kids who also stopped his behavior. The 3rd kid received a one-on-one discussion of his actions. The younger the child, the better the success.
It seems like “brandish and intimidate” would require actually, y’know, brandishing… or at least explicitly claiming to have a gun. Also, are you talking only about my comment, or is LordAshtar’s included as well? If not, what’s the difference?
I don’t. I want you to role play for a bit to see how your suggested response to a pack of teenagers plays out.
You’ve just threatend to shoot into a crowd of children.
They’ve threatened to shoot back.
The ball is in your court.
“Your mom sure doesn’t put alot of effort into picking the best ingredients to put into her DNA stew does she”
or
“You should be nicer to me i’d be your father if I hadn’t used all my quarters on that vending machine”
Ah mama jokes, that takes me back. But i’m sure that is what teenagers want a 30 year old to do, to insult them back to show they’ve gotten under their skin.
We’re not communicating well on this point. LordAshtar never suggested the use of a gun. I pointed out that conceal and carry is meant for protection, not intimidation. You never, ever pull a gun out and point it unless you intend to shoot someone. It is always the solution of last resort to be used when you cannot escape harm. I think you mistook Lord Ashtar’s comments to be aggressive but he/she can clarify that. I could be wrong.
There are, in my experience, two kinds of schoolyard bullies. One are the insecure types. It sounds like you ran into one of those, based on the other teenagers and the need to work his way up to the harrasment. The others are the psycho bullies.
If you don’t mind becoming one of the second, you can deal with the first group quite easily. The single biggest tip is to respond in a way they don’t want you to. Find an insult he can’t shrug off. Involve the authorites. Walk up to one of them, wait for him to start to make a comment, shove him hard, and walk away. Chuck a rock. Anything that will drive home the point that messing with you will be not at all enjoyable.
For best results, don’t be consistent. Don’t fly off the handle every time this group tries to get a rise out of you. But, a little ignoring, a little minorly-bad results, and a few “Oh, fuck, I can’t believe she just did that” incidents, and (assuming the local idiots in your area are anything like those in mine), you shouldn’t have any problems.
Also, make damn sure that if you do decide to walk the road of controlled psychopathy, you know what you can get away with in regards to the local authorities. Most high school students won’t even bother trying to get the police on their side against an adult, especially the ones who would harass a random person with a dog, but still, be careful that one of them isn’t related to the police chief or something.
If this only happened one time, just blow it off. No need to get a concealed carry permit over a one time occurrence. A few lame insults does not justify it. If it happens again, I like the Ravenman approach. Pick one out of the group and drop that one on him or her. Look dead in their eyes when you say it. Later, you can drop by the school and ask the principal if he or she is aware that their “fine school” is not controlling the inmates adequately. Keep it as civil and formal as you can - laughter will spoil the effect. If this is a constant thing, call the cops. They may not be able to file charges, but they can be very persuasive by just being there occasionally. Even better if the “darling ones” were supposed to be in school (truancy). Just don’t goad them into a street fight (vebal or physical). Then you will be the villain.
Bah. I still think some kind of insult in return would be fun. It wouldn’t be mature or a good idea but fun nonetheless. Go up to the loudest one and say ‘whats your name’. “Steve”. “Well Steve, go fuck yourself. If you want to impress your friends and your girlfriend maybe you should (point out social flaw he has that needs fixing here) instead of harassing people who are minding their own business”
I wish I knew what to say, because it has happened to me, too. Not quite as verbally abusive as you describe, but enough that it ruined my day and beyond. It definitely brought back the feeling of being bullied in elementary and junior high school. Even though I’m a successful adult, it didn’t make me feel like I was, it made me feel 10 years old. And scared.
I wouldn’t recommend a confrontation, because frankly, groups of kids do stupid, violent, senseless things. I’ve ignored it, but… Yeah. I wish there was a better way.
What is it about groups of teens?
Maybe ignoring it was the best thing to do. They kept trying, obviously, to get a reaction, and you didn’t give it to them. The fact that you kept doing what you set out to do–work with your dog–shows courage and strength. Something those morons only get in a mob of their peers.
Hold your head up. I’m sorry you had to run into that bunch of losers.
No, they weren’t talking to me initially, they were talking to each other in loud voices, standing in a concrete breezeway so it echoed. I was on the other side of the street and maybe ten or fifteen yards down. I always respond in a friendly way when people address me directly about him–I swear we get at least one or two comments every day about Petey or the RCA dog or whatever, and all the neighbors know him. Anyway, it was as we got a little closer and I had him in a down-stay that they started in on me… actually, it started with them talking really loudly at each other about smoking crack and blah blah blah trying to get my attention, and when I ignored them, they started yelling “HEY!!! ARE YOU LISTENING IN TO OUR CONVERSATION??? I KNOW THAT’S WHY YOU STOPPED…” and when I ignored that that’s when they started in on the lovely stuff about eating out fat bitches for crack and such.
Funny the preocupation with crack for such rich little white boys.
I desperately wanted to ask if he’d gone through puberty yet, because I figured that maybe when he had a few pubes behind his belt he wouldn’t have to resort to harassing random strangers to prove to his little girlfriends that he has any balls there. Alas, I refrained.
Every time they start harassing you or the dog, raise your hands and begin extemporaneously exorcising them.
“The blood of Christ compels you! Vile spirits, leave the bodies of these children!” Shout Bible verses. If you can, get a bottle of holy water and start flinging holy water towards them or in their direction. “The blood of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! The blood of Christ compels you! Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean! No unholy thing can dwell in the presence of God! Be gone, henceforth, you evil and vile slaves of the Devil! Leave the bodies of these children! Set them free from evil, O Lord!”
Or chant over them in Greek, Latin, or Hebrew. “Kyrie eleison! Christe eleison! Kyrie eleison! Bereshit bara Elokim et ha shamayim ve et ha aretz! Vayomer Elokim yehi or vayehi or! Vayar Elokim et ha or ki tov!”
Obviously they’re posessed by some evil entities and need to be freed from them. If not actually posessed, they’ll never bother you again.
I think the last thing you want with a bunch of loud-mouthed teenagers is to engage them in a battle of wits. Imagine how you’d feel if you lost! :eek:
In the wisecracking back department, I personally love it when said teenagers present you with the PERFECT opening. I observed a group of teenage boys at the mall simulating oral sex on an inflatable doll. They were quite loud and boisterous about it, showing their doll off to shocked passersby. As I walked by, one held the doll out to me and said, “You wanna see me eat this bitch out?” Now, how could I resist?
“Honey, if you ever want a date you don’t have to inflate, you might want to get something for that acne.”
I wanted to respond to this thread because I was going to say that if you tried to “tell them off” you would probably lose just because they out number you so I really think you should try to make them laugh…I only scanned the other responses very quickly so I don’t know if anyone else suggested this but if possible you should have made them laugh.
I used to get teased in Elementary School until I told jokes and made the bullies laugh and now in High School some of those Bullies are my friends.
A good suggestion is that when they STARTed talking about smoking crack you could have said something like “I want some too” or when they said your dog looks like the dog from the movie___________, you could have said “Yeh I stole it from the movie___________” anyway you could probably think of way funnier stuff than that.
I say don’t try to turn this into a serious situation by doing anything other than trying to get a laugh out of them.
Please don’t say anything like that, it’s not funny that’s just cruel.