This is totally off topic, but are you training your pup via the Koehler method of dog training? I just wondered because you used a couple of familiar phrases.
Now that’s bizarre… yes, I am, how’d you know?
Carry a couple of copies of the Watchtower and other such literature with you at all times. Next time you’re harassed, brighten your face and approach them eagerly. “Oh, finally! Someone who needs to be saved!” Proceed to go into a cheerful, long-winded prostelyzation of whatever faith you feel most comfortable with rattling off.
You’ll never be bothered again, guarenteed.
I’d change my route. You don’t know…they could be just a bunch of kids looking for a little fun (at your expense), or they could be a pack of vicious little punks. You don’t know, and it isn’t worth it to try to talk to them.
A friend of mine once confronted a bundh of little scumbags like this, and told them off. What happened? He got up one morning and found his car vandalized. You could try totalk to their parents, but again, YOU have to live with these creeps.
“training distractions”
"finished working and released him "
“down-stay”
A couple of years ago, I took a class from Tony Anchetta (co-wrote Bill Koehler’s book with him) training Joe, my 6yo border collie/lab cross. That dog was wild on a leash, uncontrollable and within two weeks he was walking nice as you please beside me on the leash. Recall training is great, Joe rarely fails to come the first time I call him. It’s a great method.
Tony’s great–he didn’t co-write Bill’s book, but he did apprentice with him and sort of took over the empire with Dick K. The reason I was so mystified is that all of those terms are used by any balanced trainer who really trains a dog, and are not specific to Koehler–you’re right though, it is a great method, and pretty much the foundation of any balanced trainer’s repertoire
I wonder where I got that idea. Maybe because he co-writes the website and I got mixed up. Oh well!
In a very similar situation 4 or 5 years ago, here’s what I did. Next few times going on that route I carried my digital camera. When the verbal harrasment began I took a bunch of pictures. They freaked a little. I took the camera to work and one of my employees recognized one of the kids. Turns out his parents were clients of mine and he had been in my veterinary office.
Wanting to cause the little bastard some grief, I called the parents and told them what had been going on and asked that they come pick up their pet’s records as I refused to do any further business with them. They showed up a short time later with the kid who appeared to have been roughed up a little. Nast kid/nasty parents.
The parents wanted junior to apologize to me, but I was a hard ass and told them I did not want him on my property.
Anyway it solved the problem. I have mellowed considerably since then.
I really like that camera idea. A friend of mine did something similar when her son was being harrassed, and it worked like magic. But in any event, I think in some way you should speak with the school principal.
These young bullies have opened up an old wound in you and made you feel vunerable. That is never a pleasant feeling that anyone wants to relive.
You are using this unpleasantness wisely by deciding to Do Something About It and Not Allow It To Happen Again. Unfortunately, since you don’t have laserbeams shooting out your tits, incinerating them into dustmites is out of the question and probably mostly illegal.
There are people out there that seem to have this inner vision to scope out those that cannot verbally fight back. These fuckers are bullies and they come in all ages, sexes and colors. They are very insecure people to begin with who make up for what they are not with tough talk and bravado. It is all an illusion.
Naturally, the Gee-Whiz kinda gal that lives deep inside of me - next to my liver - thinks that you could befriend them somehow (I beleive strongly in the power of really, really bad jokes. Just one aday. “Knock knock. C’mon…amuse me boys…Knock knock…” Who’s there…" “Little Old Lady…” Little Old Lady Who?" " I didn’t know you could yodel." Instinctively, people cannot resist really bad jokes. It’s in our DNA or something. YMMV, carry pepper spray in the event of backlash.
Earning your self confidence to stand up for yourself doesn’t come in one felled swoop. ( Again, lasers out of your tits would be ideal, except it is hell on the bras and if there is one thing worse than being bullied, it is trying on bras.) It comes in tiny baby steps.
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Realizing the situation is intolerable.
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Girding your loins.
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???
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Profit.
Good luck.
As cruel as making fun of someone because they’re poor and have to buy their underwear at second-hand stores?
:dubious:
Now, how would I handle it? I’d probably try to ignore them, or just look at them, raise my eyebrows, roll my eyes and shake my head. Either that or blow them a kiss and say, “Love you too pookey-snookums!”
I’m a guy (and not a small one), so there are issues of danger that the OP is going to face more than I. (But with a big dog…) Anyway, I usually smile and chuckle, making it clear that these dopes not only aren’t geting under my skin but that I find them laughable. You can do this whether it’s true or not.
Also you can stun people by dropping the c-word. Kids say fuck all the time, but that one still has some punch. Of course, ther’es always my favorite: “Really? That’s not what your mom said last night. Or at least I think so – she was a little hard to understand with my dick in her mouth.” That’s one you have to be either smiling when you say, and you have to make sure you’re ready to get the dog off the leash. (Also, you’re going to have to revise a little to go with your gender.) The point being, kids think it’s cool to be dirty and profane because they think that adults don’t do it. But we do all the time; we just don’t let kids catch us. You have to convince them that nothing they say is going to shock you, and they’ll stop trying to shock you.
–Cliffy
Neither did I, for all that.
Agreed.
I really don’t see how you can interpret the comment as anything other than an attempt to intimidate.
I’m seeing this from the other side for a second and suddenly, I’m ashamed to realize my nephew is one of these asshole bullies we’ve been warning him about. Now I feel like I should jump on a plane to Ohio and kick his ass for him.
He’s 14. Recently, my sister was called home from a party (by a neighbor, I think) because her son had been heckling the 25-30ish neighbor next door. Neighbor had a bad day and decided to teach annoying teenagers a lesson. He punched and kicked my nephew. Police were called. My sister was called. All hell broke loose.
After neighbor apologized, he said he’d just snapped because they’d done it so many times before. How awful. My sister finds out her kid has been harrassing the neighbors for Og knows how long and now the cops want to cart neighbor off to jail. Being adults, we couldn’t figure out why neighbor didn’t just bang on the door when he saw her car in the driveway and tell her what her son was up to. She would have nipped that right in the bud and the whole ugly incident would have never happened.
As it was, she didn’t press charges, although the cops insisted she was well within her right. She was actually a little disappointed her kid wasn’t hurt a little bit. Now, he’s just a bad ass teenager who survived a run in with a grown up and didn’t even get in trouble! His friends have elevated him to Supreme Studboy status. Thing is, he was only guilty of being an annoying teenager; the neighbor was the one who committed assault.
So I vote for the camera approach or some variation. Find some way to track down some of the parents or something.
Do not, under any circumstances, retaliate in any physical way or threaten the kids with anything. Battery does not mean physical contact has to occur. Threatening language constitutes battery. Chucking a rock in their general direction could be construed as assult on a minor. Like you said, you are the grown up here. I see no need to engage them.
But ratting them out really holds no repercussions for you. It’s not like they can stuff you into your locker.
He is a big dog too, so I really don’t have much fear of them actually approaching me, unless they’ve got distance weapons or something. Simon (the ArmadilloPup) is a marshmallow, but they don’t know that.
Thanks, Shirley, your post made my otherwise crappy week 
I’ve been in very similar situations, with a big dog, too.
What I’ve done is act like I’m ignoring the insults for a while, but instead of moving away actually moving in closer. Slowly. Gradually.
Got close in and got the dog to sit and said something like, “I know you were talking to me but I was really concentrating on doggie. Did you need something?”
Sometimes, by the time you’re close they will have scattered. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered teens (run of the mill teens, mind you) that have ever chosen to repeat things at that point, though some of them will make up something new on the spot. Then I’ve just nodded and said something like, “Yeah, figured it was something like that.”
I think it’s the calm acceptance that throws them. I don’t look shocked or upset. I’m not in a hurry. I’m just there. Usually I just stand there and pet the dog.
I’ve used this technique lots and lots of times with hookers, actually, when I was involved in an effort to encourage them to stop hanging out in the neighborhood.
I’ve thought about what I would do if I walked by the public middle school in our town and was harrassed by a group of students.
- My first act would be to call the principal’s office and complain.
I don’t know how things work where you are but around here the public school budgets are one of the hottest local issues going. It is a pitched battle every year for the schools to get the funding they need. I am usually a strong supporter but THEY wouldn’t know this. I would make it quite clear that as a taxpayer I was not happy with the behavior of the students. Again, around here they can’t afford to lose any public good will.
- I would definitely call the church and complain about allowing their property to be used as a staging point for this type of abuse. May not have any effect but at the very least you might be able to get someone from the church to complain to the school as well (I’m assuming the church and school are not somehow affiliated?).
My thoughts are that it is bad enough that you had to put up with that kind of thing when you were a kid, there is no reason at all you should have to deal with it as a grownup.
My mother’s a teacher and she is convinced that kids are more mean than they use to be.
She remembers what she saw and went through when she was in school, noticed what her kids went through, and knows whats going on in schools now. She can’t believe how cruel kids can be anymore. So to say everyone should just “get over it,” especially those who fall under their torment today, is completely unfair. What happened to a person 20 (even just 10) years ago is nothing compared to what these poor kids have to deal with now. Personally I think that its the fault of a society of horrible lazy parents who don’t want to take responsibility for their kids , but thats just me.
Schools don’t really help anymore either. Schools kiss the asses of parents so badly that teachers and other school authority figures are not allowed to discipline students the way it should be done. Fear of lawsuits and nasty parental confrontations have left teachers helpless. Seriously, teachers really can’t do much of anything if there is a problem student, the system has it set up to where if something goes wrong, its the teachers fault, or the schools. Parents rule over all, and most of them are fucking stupid.
Blah, I don’t want kids.
Anyway, to the OP - I’m sorry this happened to you. I would suggest ignoring them - there isn’t much else that will really help since its hard to come up with a witty comeback when you’re put on the spot.
Touche’
:smack:
think i like jsgoddess’ method. it sounds very dignified if it works.