I quit about a week before the last post so that makes it about a month now. Still
feeling stressed and miss the relief that the alcohol would bring. Have tried to make
an appointment with a psychologist but after about 20+ phone calls have had no
luck. Some aren’t taking new patients, others don’t return my calls or their phone
number is no good and a one didn’t want to take my insurance (and this is coming
from lists that were given to me by the insurance company!).
The pain in my joints still persists and sometimes feels worse. The only good news
is that my hands and left knee feel better plus X-rays of the hips and other joints have
not shown any damage. Have another appointment with the Rheumatologist in about
two weeks. Doctor still thinks drinking did not damage the joints but I worry and just
want this to end.
Thank you for letting me whine about this. As a reward to you let me share something you
may enjoy. If you liked the early Steven Spielberg movie “Duel” you might be interested
to learn that it was originally a short story. The story appears on this website (you
will need to scroll down a bit): https://talesofmytery.blogspot.com/2013/02/richard-matheson-duel.html
And here is a link to and audio book version of the story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJcaNXymg74
The original story is just as good as the movie but the ending is different.
Congratulations on making it through your first month. You may find alternate activities can help you unwind. Walking through the woods, meditation, simple stretching exercises, gardening, or even making bread from scratch. the process takes a bit of time, but kneading bread dough is a great, almost mindless activity (after your first time) and pulling a great loaf out of the oven is very satisfying.
I’m glad your hands and knee are feeling better. Keep up the good work.
After work I would “commute” to the kitchen (I work from home) and have
dinner. The drinking would start while preparing dinner or after I was finished
eating. Now I take a nap and have dinner later in the late evening. The house is
hot and stuffy in the late afternoon this time of year so I just relax, snooze and
have dinner in the evening when the house has cooled off. This helps to reduce
the stress a bit.
I have partly stopped keeping up with the news - it seems lately the media
makes it sound like the whole world is going to hell. Also have tried listening
to a few meditation videos on Youtube.com. I find both of these help a tiny bit.
A long time ago I drove over Soledad Canyon Rd. where many scenes from “Duel”
were filmed. I didn’t understand why the road and canyon looked so familiar to me
until I got to the tunnel.
Now and then, I’d think, “Maybe I could just have a drink once in a while.” I didn’t. Now, after nearly 8 years dry, I’ve figured out it’s easier to keep saying Never than to decide whether it’s a good time to have a drink.
You have a good point. I am in the process of pulling myself off of diet soda. I think I have 3 more cans in the fridge, one a day. I’ve been trying to do this for years, but I get withdrawal headaches, and the stuff is just so easy to access when good alternatives aren’t.
I keep reminding myself of a man I met several years ago who only drank water. Gravy might pass his lips but no coffee, soda, tea, alcohol, or juice does. He drinks water. Damn, I tell myself, I’ll probably never reach that point but if he can do it, I can at least break free of diet soda.
Getting a case of BA.5 Covid helped me cement my decision. I was down to two cans a day from for but the combination of not drinking any because I’m sick headache on top of the insane Covid headache was horrible. Even with the fog, I thought “now is the time.” So, here goes!
I hope you’re doing ok X.L.Lent. I woke up thinking about you, but didn’t get a chance to post until now. Please don’t be timid or slow to ask for help if you need it. We all do sometimes.
You might benefit from a visit to the doctor to discuss your “new” aches and pains and the best ways to ease them.
Just do anything you want to - other than drink. You can do anything sober that you used to do drinking (other than being a drunken boor! ;)).
A lot of drinking - and smoking - is simply habit. I just adopted the same approach to booze as I had to cigs. Just say, “No!” to your self every time you get the urge. As time passes, the urges become less frequent, and less powerful. I never felt a need to stay away from booze or drinkers. I was capable of saying “No!”
Same here some 18 yrs sober. Just not worth it.
I’d be happy going the rest of my life drinking nothing other than water and coffee - and I could likely give up the coffee if I wished/felt a need.