Have you been a kept woman? Man?

…and if so, how does it work?

My husband was wondering tonight. One of his mother’s friends a long time ago was under the mistaken impression that he had the hots for her. She had money. For some reason, this caused him to speculate on how being ‘kept’ worked. Does the kept person get paid money?

I said it was probably more along the lines of having your rent paid and being given gifts and maybe *some *money to buy things with. But not enough money to be given autonomy. And, of course, the expectation that your time and interest and physical appearance are to be focused exclusively on your ‘keeper’.

Anyone been kept? Keeping?

I would have loved to have been a kept woman in my youth, I confess! (I was lazy and unsure of what I wanted to do in life.)

No, but when I was at McGill some creepy guy with an Indian girl fetish was putting up little flyers everywhere asking for a well-educated Indian co-ed to be his concubine (his words, not mine). The offer was rent-free accomodations in Westmount, a monthly allowance, regular gifts of designer clothes-in return for sex and light housekeeping (I’m guessing that might have involved sex as well as I cannot believe someone willing to take you to Holt Renfrew for shopping sprees can’t afford a maid).

My girlfriends and I used to have a good laugh about it.

To be perfectly honest, this sounds a bit like my life - only I’m a stay-at-home Mom/self-employed artist who is married. I have total control over any money I bring in, but my husband is most definitely the traditional breadwinner, and unless I was willing to work a lot harder at my crafting than I do, I wouldn’t be able to live on my income alone. I keep the house and, well, I do really like the guy, so sex isn’t out of the question :wink:

I feel so dirty now.

I was offered the position once.

Without going into too much detail, this gal (extremely wealthy, self-made, about my age) offered to have me live in her palatial apartment on Wall Street–which I’d seen; it was real, and spectacular–and pay all the bills, while I spent my days writing the Great American Novel. My only responsibility, she promised, would be making sure there was milk in the fridge. She said she had her life all planned out, and “I was the missing piece.”

It sounded like a sweet deal, but I said No, thanks. There was something creepy about the businesslike way she proposed all this, not to mention the pervasive undercurrent of cruel, calculating domination I saw in all her social dealings.

And now, seven years later, she’s engaged to one of my best friends. I hope desperately that this turns out well. We shall see.

No, but I once rejected the following offer from a Venezuelan businessman. At the time I was living in Miami; apparently being from Spain gave me extra value.

“I need someone to decorate and keep my house here. I come over about once a month, but usually it’s day trips. Once every three months or so I’ll stay for a week. I’m a very good lover and of course I wouldn’t loan you to my friends, being a classy lady and all. You’d get a Visa card and an expense account, no salary. Officially you’d work for one of my companies as a public relations.”

I was more taken aback by the idea of having to justify every damn single expense than by the notion of having sex with him for money. Is that weird?

While not exactly the same. . .

Did you hear the one about the guy who married into money?

and has been paying for it ever since.

Actually has happened with one of my friends. He married a great lady, not for her money, but she comes from a wealthy family. Their family provided a house for them on land they owned (total value between a hald and a million dollars, I would guess). Unfortunately, she does use this on occasion, which would be a complete turn-off for me.

People with the money and inclination to have a kept woman or man are likely to be more demanding, I would guess.

Back before I met my husband I was having an affair with my married boss. I lived in Queens, he lived in Jersey and we both worked in Manhatten. He got tired of paying for hotels and didn’t like to drive out to Queens so we started to look for an apartment. The plan was he was going to pay for it and tell his wife it was for when he had to work late, but I was going to give up my place in Queens and live IN THE CITY. I was so excited! But then the IRS caught up with him to the tune of 250K and that was that.

When I was in college I dated a woman 10 years my senior. Being a rather poor college student, she paid for almost everything.

Her friends claimed I was using her, but I genuinely enjoyed her company and would have been just as content to stay in and rent a movie. She was the one who liked to go out.

That’s the closest I’ve been to being “kept”

Yes once - for about a year. I was single, he was a business man with offices in Fort Lauderdale/Miami & abroad. He enjoyed my company, could well afford to help me and I was genuinely fond of him. It was the total “Ron Perelman” treatment :smiley: - I have never had a Sotheby’s auction of jewelry given to me - but I have some treasured things & lovely memories, and he helped me enormously at a time when I really really needed it.

VCNJ~

Edited to add “it was NOT the total “Ron Perelman” treatment” (all the same, it was lovely)

I have a former friend (“D”) who was an escort and ended up being what I’d call semi-kept by a client (“C”). D had a boyfriend (and two adopted sons) and C knew about them. D was “on call” after a fashion. C would call him up on short notice and expect him to be available more often than not. In exchange D got cash, jewelry, clothes, vacations and the like and, while it was going on, was supposed to refuse all other clients (he didn’t, of course). It ended badly, with C stalking D for a while and getting him arrested for prostitution (by confessing to the police that he’d paid D for sex, which, OK, why wasn’t C arrested for solicitation?).

Nava, “Because you’re a classy lady, I won’t loan you to my friends?”!

The mind boggles. Loan you to my friends?

Maybe I’m sheltered.

I have to admit: If I was ridiculously rich; I’d have several women set up in posh apartments across the globe.

Which wouldn’t be to bad a deal for them because I wouldn’t give a shit what they did when I wasn’t around.

No, just classy.

I’ve also been given the opportunity.

My understanding was that all bills would be sent to and paid for by his accountant. I’d get a Visa card but would never see the bill. The rent would be paid by the accountant. He’d buy me a car.

He could well afford it, but was cheap. I really wonder if he’d have come through had I agreed. I think part of his proposal was the fantasy of the deal for him - “I’m so wealthy that my accountant pays my mistresses credit card bills.”

My sister had a girlfriend who had a relationship like that, and that was her arrangement. She used a Visa card that she never saw the bill on. She found out the relationship was over when the Visa card got cancelled and her landlord told her that her lease had been terminated and she had to find a new place to live.

By the way, it sounds like a sweet deal, but really isn’t. Your ladyfriend gets used to a standard of living she can’t have on her own. Unless you are willing to support her for her entire life, eventually you’ll pull the Visa card.

There are a few historical courteseans who were foresighted enough to save and invest. Most however, ended up on the streets when their beauty ran out. I’d imagine that contemporary courteseans often suffer the same fate.

I got a divorce and mailed my gay husband’s lover so the guy could get a green card.

It was a great two years of my life, but once they got the green card I was left with nothing.

Slut.

Before we married, when we first started living together, my wife made more money than I and I basically lived in her apartment, with her furniture, her stuff. I had a drawer for clothes and that was about it. I didn’t regularly pay for anything, but did get groceries and movie tickets and such. It worked out quite well, actually, cause I ended up getting a much better job and the exact time a loan of hers came due and I paid that months rent while she paid off the loan. The month before that would not have been possible.

And for the past few years she’s been living same life as LifeOnWry.

Damn you Dangerosa stop ruining my fantasies!! [shakes fist]