Have you ever been the "other" person in an infidelity scenario?

In My Humble Opinion
1

This poll is suggested by Silver Tyger Girl’s thread on online dating, which I’m too lazy to link too since the connection between the thread concepts is fairly tenuous.

Anyway, here’ s a few questions about infidelity:

  1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating?

  2. Have you done so more than once?

  3. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself?

  4. Would you do it again?

  5. Are you in a committed relationship now?

  6. If yes, would your answer to (5) change if you were not in a commited relationship?

  7. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on?

To answer my own questions.

  1. Yes.
  2. Yes
  3. Sometiimes.
  4. No.
  5. No.
  6. Not all that much. I stopped cheating for different reasons.
2

  1. Yup.

  2. 'fraid so.

  3. Nope.

  4. I’d like to think not.

  5. Yup.

  6. I suspect you meant 4, and I’d still say that I’d like to think not.

  7. It happens, it sucks to have it done to you, but if it happens it’s not the end of the world.

3

I thought you were married?

4

:smack:

You suspect right.

Edited twice. Still didn’t get it. Damn typo fairies.

5

I am. My editing skills suck, as Clurican pointed out more deliciately than was warranted.

6

The class of 2003 sticks together kid. :smiley:

7

  1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating? Yes I have.

  2. Have you done so more than once? Yes

  3. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself? Yes

  4. Would you do it again? Never again

  5. Are you in a committed relationship now? Yes, for the rest of my life.

  6. If yes, would your answer to (5) change if you were not in a commited relationship? No, I’m too old for the strain, not to mention the long odds against the opportunity.

  7. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on? It would hurt me terribly if my Darling Marcie cheated on me. I’m confident she will not.

8
  1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating?

Yep.

  1. Have you done so more than once?

Nope.

  1. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself?

Nope.

  1. Would you do it again?

Nope.

  1. Are you in a committed relationship now?

Yes.

  1. If yes, would your answer to (5) change if you were not in a commited relationship?

Nope.

  1. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on?

I’ve never been cheated on - I assume I wouldn’t like it. Personally, it only happened once (despite his repeated insistance that we should continue the relationship) and I was totally disgusted with him and totally disgusted with myself. He and she wound up getting married and I always felt sorry for her. However, perhaps I was a one time thing being as I’m so irresistable. :rolleyes:

9
  1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating?

Yes

  1. Have you done so more than once?

Yes, but it was with the same guy. First time, he was dating her, the second time he was married but separated. They got back together while we were still seeing each other.

  1. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself?

No

  1. Would you do it again?

No

  1. Are you in a committed relationship now?

Yes

  1. If yes, would your answer to (4) change if you were not in a commited relationship?

As much as I hate to admit it, I know I would.

  1. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on?

If anything, I think it’s made me more aware of just how complicated romantic feelings can be. I haven’t been cheated on, so I don’t know if that would translate into my being more forgiving or not.

10
  1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating?

Yes

  1. Have you done so more than once?

Yes, with the same person

  1. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself?

No

  1. Would you do it again?

I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t, but hey, I’m human, and anything’s possible in the right circumstances

  1. Are you in a committed relationship now?

Yes

  1. If yes, would your answer to (4) change if you were not in a commited relationship?

Nope

  1. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on?

It made me realize that the reasons people cheat are as numerous as the stars, and not to take my SO for granted

11

  1. Yes.

  2. Maybe?

  3. No.

  4. Depends. If I knew then what I know now? I’d like to think No. But I don’t honestly know what I’d do in that situation again.

  5. No

  6. I’m still not a fan of cheating, and prefer honesty in MY relationships.
    If i were being cheated on, I’d like the courtesy of knowing at least. But my experiences at least show me, hey- no one’s perfect. But it still would suck.

12

1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating? - Yes

2. Have you done so more than once? - With the same woman, yes.

3. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself? - On a few occasions (see 2) but mostly, no.

4. Would you do it again? - Positively, absolutely not. That was one of the things my narrator did differently in my NaNo 2006. :slight_smile:

5. Are you in a committed relationship now? If yes, would your answer to (4) change if you were not in a commited relationship? - Yes, I am married, and no, it would not.

6. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on? - It doesn’t. Regrettably, I was already perfectly acquainted with the doctrine of “that which is hateful to you, do not to another” - I just completely failed to apply it. :frowning:

13

**1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating?
** No
2. Have you done so more than once? N/A

**3. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself?
** N/A
**4. Would you do it again?
** I would not help someone cheat.
**5. Are you in a committed relationship now?
** No
**5. If yes, would your answer to (5) change if you were not in a commited relationship?
** No
**6. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on?
** N/A

14
  1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating?

yes - several times

  1. Have you done so more than once?
    nope

  2. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself?
    nope

  3. Would you do it again?
    probably, if the opportunity arises

  4. Are you in a committed relationship now?
    nope

  5. If yes, would your answer to (5) change if you were not in a commited relationship?
    n/a

  6. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on?
    Even though I’ve cheated myself and been the other person, I’ve never been cheated on (that I know of). So actually I’m not sure. But it has made me realize that people cheat for all sorts of reason, and not all of them are morally wrong.

15

  1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating? Yes.

  2. Have you done so more than once? Probably; I can’t remember.

  3. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself? No.

  4. Would you do it again? I would try not to - I found myself wracked with guilt at my participation, plus jealous that I couldn’t ‘have’ the other party involved.

  5. Are you in a committed relationship now? No.

  6. If yes, would your answer to (5) change if you were not in a commited relationship? **I don’t cheat on my own girlfriends. I’m a hypocrite. **

  7. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on? It probably makes me loathe the idea all the more. One of the few things to make me truly angry is betrayal. I’m a hypocrite.

16

1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating?

Yes. Well, I don’t know if it really counts as cheating, per se, since he was in a relationship with a woman when he met me, and he hadn’t yet admitted his homesexuality to himself. And he did immediately tell her about us. She was absolutely lovely–not angry at me at all (but that could be because, as a man, I didn’t represent competition in the classic sense), and understanding towards him.

2. Have you done so more than once?

No.

3. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself?

No, I was single at the time.

4. Would you do it again?

Well, I’m fairly certain that I wouldn’t pursue someone whom I knew to be in a monogamous relationship, but would I acquiesce if said person were to pursue *me * (as occurred with my ex from question #1)? I’d like to think not, but, as **Onomatopoeia ** and **RoOsh ** alluded to, romantic feelings can be complicated, and it can sometimes be difficult to be certain of what you’d do.

5. Are you in a committed relationship now?

Nope, and I haven’t been in 12 years.

5. If yes, would your answer to (5) change if you were not in a commited relationship?

N/A

6. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on?

When I was with my ex (the same guy from #1), he had a one-night stand with another guy, and I was initially thrown for a loop, but with some research and talking things through, I soon got over it. At another point during our relationship, he also had a liaison with a woman (not his ex-girlfriend). That kind of got to me because of what I felt was the uncertainty of his sexuality (i.e., was he not sure of who he was, was I just a sexual pit stop, was he just trying out the gay thing to see how he liked it?) I was young(er) then, though, and hadn’t yet fully realized some important things about myself, so what did I know? Now, though, I know that I could never promise monogamy to anyone, and I sure as hell wouldn’t expect them to promise it to me, so as far as purely physical liaisons go, I wouldn’t feel as if I were being cheated on.

17

1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating?

Yes.

2. Have you done so more than once?

Yes.

3. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself?

Yes.

4. Would you do it again?

All of the above were before I was married. I’d try my damnedest not to. A stranger’s girlfriend kissed me the other night, and even though I am now single, and have a bit of a crush on her, I didn’t pursue it.

5. Are you in a committed relationship now?

No.

5. If yes, would your answer to (4) change if you were not in a commited relationship?

N/a

7. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on?

It makes me more suspicious of others. Perhaps a little more understanding, depending on the circumstances. I would maybe be a bit more forgiving if it were a one-off never-to-be-repeated thing.

(But to turn it round, while sometimes the urge to be with someone else is overwhelming, having been on the receiving end of being cheated on, on more than one occasion, I can say that it feels like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and stomped on; the walls of your emotional house collapse and the ceiling falls in on your head, and it takes forever to recover. It’s a horrible feeling, and I would not like to inflict that on someone I cared about, or a stranger, or even someone I disliked.

Nobody, in fact, apart for the guy who recently stole my girl from me - I’d like him to experience it. Repeatedly. Hopefully with video of it being emailed to him on a daily basis!)

18

Rather than answer the questions directly, I’ll just say this:

I had the opportunity to date a girl I was utterly lusting for. But I kept holding back because she was dating someone else. Then someone else. Then someone else… Despite this, she was making it clear that I was welcome to her. I’ve always regretted not getting together with her. But realistically, it would have broken my heart when my “turn” was over and the next someone came along in a few weeks.

God, she was HOT.

19

1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating?
Yes

2. Have you done so more than once?
Like the sexual act? Yes.

3. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself?
No.

4. Would you do it again?
I want to say no, but I’d only be lying to myself.

5. Are you in a committed relationship now?
No.

5. If yes, would your answer to (4) change if you were not in a commited relationship?
If I was in a commited relationship, I wouldn’t cheat. If I thought I was going to, I’d break up with that person.

6. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on?
I have seen alot of people cheat on their SO. It seems like it is so common that it has almost become a fact of life of sorts. If I was with someone and they cheated on me, I’d break up with them and move on. It has come to a point that I almost expect it to happen.

20

  1. Have you ever been the person with whom another person in a committed relationship was cheating? Yes

  2. Have you done so more than once? Yes

  3. When you were the person abetting the cheating, were you also cheating yourself? No

  4. Would you do it again? I like to say no, but the honest answer is I probably would

  5. Are you in a committed relationship now? No

  6. How does your experience on being cheated with affect your opinion on being cheating on?
    I think I have learned that once men cheat once, they cross an irrevocable line and will be very very likely to do it again. I’m not sure why this is but I think before they do it they anticipate all sorts of guilt and conflicted emotions, then once they do it these feelings don’t happen and they realize just how EASY it is to cheat

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