Oh sure, often in the ast. All relationships don’t have to be marriage training. It’s often nice just to have someone to go places and do things with; also, if you’re a paranoid person about STD’s like I am, monogamy is all you allow yourself.
If nobody better is around, why would you leave something that’s serving its purpose?
Problems only arise when the other person sees it as more than it is or hoping it’ll become more than it is. It’s an unfortunate side effect that often happens to me.
Congratulations, Dogzilla. 
Congratulate me when I get this guy off my couch. 
I’ll keep y’all posted.
I think its more common in the general population than the results of this survey would suggest.
I’ve seen it mostly as a part of people deciding whether to leave a longer term relationship. Not only about self esteem, can also be about the whole ‘starting over’ prospect, ie meeting someone who looks OK, then having to take the time to see if they really are a prospect etc. They dont necessarily ‘keep trying’ forever, but it means they might keep trying a bit longer than they would have otherwise.
Otara
Nah. I will stay in a relationship until a dealbreaker manifests itself. Then I gtfo, Speedy Gonzales style.
Left my last ex after he physically threatened his brother with a rubber mallet during a verbal altercation. I wasn’t even there, I just heard about it after the fact. But violence is a total dealbreaker for me.
I’ve been told my standards are too high. But that’s okay, I don’t mind being single. And I’d prefer to be single than stuck with a loser.
Oh hell no. I’ve stayed in an unhappy relationship for far longer than I should, but it was out of a misguided idea of honor. I **craved **being alone.
And I have been, more or less, for years now. I concede that it’s a lucky “I can be alone if I choose, or call someone if I don’t” kind of alone, but ultimately I’m just not willing to settle at this point. I’m happy alone, so if a relationship isn’t everything I’ve ever wanted and some stuff I didn’t even know was possible, I can live without it.
I was more saying this is a non typical sample than anyone answering is kidding themselves or the like.
Otara
Two people come to mind… The first is a girl I know who frequently bitches about her husband. She has mentioned from time to time that she’s unlikely to meet someone else if she leaves him and will be stuck on her own with two kids. I think that’s her major motivation for staying with him. The other is my brother, who stayed in a volatile relationship for five years and then abruptly ended it when a girl he met through work flirted with him. I’ve always thought that he’d stuck it out because he didn’t think he could meet someone else and then jumped ship for the first girl who paid him any attention.
Do I have a secret twin named Dogzilla?
Since my last divorce in 2004 I have barely dated at all, mostly for the reasons in your last paragraph. I have been to lots of therapy, work out and meditate regularly, eat healthy food, take care of myself, and get lots of attention from men when I go out, but most of them are like kids in a candy store because there are many attractive, single, middle-aged women in this town and not so many men. Men show interest in me, but then another shinier, younger, wealthier woman comes along and they follow her glitter for a while and then move on again . . .
Having said that, I have been seeing someone on a regular basis for a few months; it’s the first real “relationship” I’ve had in almost seven years. He is far from perfect, but I enjoy his company most of the time. Still, sometimes he acts like a jackass. (I am close to deleting this because I fear he will find it somehow, but I will continue . . .) I didn’t vote in the poll because I’m not sure what my answer would be.
I do think the older you get, the harder it is to find “viable” mates. Obviously everyone over, say, 35, is going to have a lot of baggage. That’s fine with me–if they didn’t, I’d be concerned. It’s how they handle the baggage that matters. Also, as they age people gain weight, lose their hair, acquire strange habits, lose jobs, make mistakes . . . the list goes on. What might be a reason to reject someone when you’re 25 suddenly doesn’t seem so bad when you’re 53. Also, when I was younger the longest I went without being in a relationship was a year. I got divorced in 2004 and until a few months ago went only only a few dates with any guy I met; I figured I would never meet someone I liked who liked me back, and I was learning to be okay with that.