About ten years ago I met my father at a diner. He felt guilty about not supporting me during college and gave me a check for $10,000.
I took it home. Thought about it for a while. And sent it back to him, and told him to send it to my mother, who had supported me when I was in college.
Does money lying on the sidewalk count as “free money”? Because I refuse to pick it up, on the grounds that it’s not my money.
Ideally, the person who lost it and needs it would come back and find it. If not, then the chances are still good that it will be found by somebody who needs it more than I do.
I don’t quite remember why but I developed an attitude about accepting money from my dad. He was generous but overly dramatic. I think I heard him be dramatic about money one too many times (stuff cost too much? brother asked for too much money? I honestly forget) and I stopped taking money from him when he offered. Like I’d drop the dogs off at my folks’ house before I went out and he’d ask me if I wanted some money to go out and I’d say “no thanks.” It was just $20 but I just didn’t want it. He could use it for the rising cost of gas or whatever he was bitching about.
Of course, it’s not like I never took or borrowed money from him again. I just would say no most times when it came to slipping me some cash.
I don’t know if this fits the spirit of this thread, but I have two stories.
The first was when I was traveling on a ski trip. I was staying at a hotel in Salt Lake City and needed some cash. Because I am old as fuck, I had three $50 travelers checks at the time and cashed them at the hotel front desk. The young gal behind the desk took the checks and handed me my $300. Instinctively, before I could even think about it, I handed it back and told her she overpaid me. She was happy I was honest, it took me some time to come to terms that I did the right thing. Actually, I knew then and there, but a free $150…
The second was a bigger lesson that has stuck with me my entire life. My grandfather lived out in the country, on about 20 rural acres far from town. We (myself and a cousin) would spend the weekend and summers working for him. Cutting firewood, installing fences, whatever manual labor he needed. He always paid us for it. Years later, when I was working my first job after college, he would still need help around his property. By that point, it was easy to do and quite frankly I wanted to do it for him for free. But no, he insisted on paying me. And it eventually dawned on me, years later hearing stories from other relatives, that it was his lesson to his family - “You work, you get paid. No work, no pay”. It turned out more than a few family members asked for money without earning it, and they learned the same lesson I did, but from a different point of view and different outcome. And now, after working 33 years, making my own way, and finally enjoying the retirement that I earned, do I fully appreciate the work ethic he taught me. So a bit different from ZipperJJ’s experience (which I think that I understand), money wasn’t given, it was earned. Free money now is of course suspicious.
For me it depends, if i see money lying indoors im unlikely to pick it up as they might come back to it. But a $20 on the sidewalk? Its unlikely to get picked up by the owner, and if i leave it there 98%chance someone who doesn’t need it pockets it. So just pick it up and gjve it a homeless person or someone starving in africa, that $20 can feed them for a month.
To be clear: Finding a few hundred in cash on the sidewalk or public area, especially when it is not obvious that someone is looking for it or there is an easy way to reunite the cash with it’s owner, I’m on board with that. A little good luck is just fine. On the other hand, a $10,000 check given for “reasons”, perfectly fine to refuse if you want to.
I’ve never turned down free money. Always been in need of money. As long as it comes with no strings attached, I don’t think I’ll ever turn it down, unless the PR were really bad for some reason.
You know if you took that $10k and gave it to your mom with a note thanking her for sending you through college, i think she would have appreciated that a lot.
And at the same time you make your dad happier than if you returned it as he might feel less guilt and see at as you forgiving his shortcoming that he made an effort to fix
But we all have pride sometimes stopping us from doing rational sensible things
When we went to visit my elderly mother, she always used to give me some money “for the petrol”. I didn’t really want to take it, but she wanted to give it. The children had savings so we split it between them, without revealing the source.
We were hiking to the top of the highest point on Saint Martin, when I saw money on the trail. It was about two thousand dollars with a hair band around it. We continued hiking and then we saw a couple walking toward us, searching the ground as they walked.
I asked if they’d lost something and they told us they’d arrived on the island that morning and had lost their vacation money. They told me the amount. It felt really great to return the money to them.
The only free money I’ve ever gotten was when my parents helped me out buying a new car. I was in the military, and just didn’t have the cash. When I tried to pay it back, they wouldn’t accept it. Otherwise, I’ve never found so much as a dollar.
One morning about 45 years ago I was walking at 7:00 in the morning, my usual time, in my inner city neighborhood. In the street up against the curb I saw a checkbook and picked it up. Inside there was $200 stuffed in behind the checks. I was desperately broke at the time and really could have used that money. But the owner’s name was right there in front of me on the checks.
I went to find a phone somewhere. Everything was still closed at that hour, but there was a nursing home in the area, and I got them to let me in. I called the number on the checks and the woman was thrilled! She had been mugged the night before and the guy had taken her wallet and her checkbook. He kept the wallet, but clearly discarded the checkbook, not realizing that’s where she had crammed her paycheck money that she had just cashed.
I went to her apartment, which was in the next block and she came running out, still in her nightgown. She was absolutely thrilled. I was happy to have returned it to her. If there had been no identification, I probably would have kept it.
P. S. It seemed to me at the time that at least a 10-dollar reward would not have gone amiss, but I think all she could think about was getting her money back.
It’s funny - I’d never consider money my parents gave me, or money I give my kid, “free money”. Family looks after each other. My parents got money from their parents, they paid it back by giving money to their kids, and we’ll do the same.
If someone ever offers me free money I’ll let you know what I do. When I’ve won a pool or something like that I treat everybody with drinks or food or something like that, but that means I did take it. If I hit it big in the lottery or something I’ll take it.
I wouldn’t feel right just taking money that I’m not due for some legitimate reason. But I’ve been lucky enough to earn a lot on my own so haven’t been in the position of others that haven’t had such opportunities.
Indeed! My daughter eloped due to COVID-19. I sent a wedding card with a check for what I was prepared to spend on her wedding. My gf sent her own card, with a check matching mine.
My daughter initially balked at the money, saying it was too much. We convinced her to accept it and put it toward their first house.