You already won it (her).
I’m attracted to white men too, blue eyes and blond hair are my favorite. I didn’t end up with anything like that, but I think what I got is pretty good.
Lots of Indian men want to date hot blond chicks. I guess I can’t blame them!
Hey, at least she’s fair-skinned. 
Well I got a shocker for all of you, YES I HAVE HEARD OF AN INDIAN DATING OUTSIDE OF HIS RACE BECAUSE I AM HIS WIFE AND I AM BLACK!!!
Whoa stop the press, I know all Indian men in here are in shock, I seriously thought I heard crickets after my announcement LOL.
My Indian husband is 100% Indian from Sirsa Punjab India. He speaks Hindi, Punjabi, Haryanese and Greek. He was a Hindu but now converted to Christianity. His family abandoned him for marrying me but that’s ok, he has me and my family. He does not see color and only sees my heart. And he loves hip hop and 50cent too too much.
So now you have your answer but really I don’t think anyone has ever seen an Indian man with a black woman
I’ve seen plenty of desi man-black woman couples. The outer boroughs–especially Queens–are full of them.
Harlem has had quite a few such marriages, too, as has much of the West Indies (especially Trinidad.)
thanks for this thread and good discussions guys
and I am having a happy dating life right now!
White American married to an Indian man from Malaysia. Cultural differences were (and very rarely still are) an issue for us. We live in the US and adopted our Indian son from Malaysia. I seldom see anyone spare us a second glance… aside from other Indians.
While in Malaysia we get stare at to an extent that I am extremely uncomfortable, especially when I am alone with my son. He was three the last time we were in Malaysia together. He is nearly 7 now, and old enough to understand that people will be nudging each other and staring. Frankly, openly staring. We are going back in August and I am actually very nervous about it. I worry that he will feel self-conscious about it.
And yeah I know it is usually just simple curiosity (sometimes it is more than that, but I am just as adept at shrugging off ignorance as my husband is). But the degree of it!! Everywhere we go in public, the turning and craning and the ignorant comments from people who speak Malay and assume that I do not understand them. It gets old.
My only limiting belief was hooking up with White women because where I live in the south that is where the problem comes in. I have seen Indian men date and marry Asian, Black, and Latina girls. Personally never knew one with a White girlfriend until recently, see him in the mirror every morning.
Can I ask, why does this matter to you? It could be, and probably is, that I’m seeing a “tone” in written word that isn’t there at all, but you seem rather proud, as if dating a white woman is some sort of accomplishment.
Read some of his previous threads, all on this topic. It was a major life goal for him - to have a white girlfriend.
Oh. Wow. Thank you for the tip-off.
So you bagged yourself an elusive Caucasian mammal, curious guy. Is she aware that your fascination with her is strictly of the fetish variety?
I would date Aziz Ansari.
If we accept there is no such thing as ‘race’ then yes, it’s hugely common for people of different ethnicity to be in relationships, often but not always with someone they met at uni or work. Ethnic second generation+ Indians are no exception. It literally is a huge melting pot.
You should travel if you can, you’d probably find it eye-opening.
How odd. I am a white American male married to a Malaysia-born woman of Indian origins. We have spent about a total of three months in Malaysia on four trips, the last one with our then-almost-one-year-old son, including travel in rural and urban areas…and we never experienced anything like what you did. Never.
Either we are oblivious to the snickers, etc., or we are just lucky, or maybe it makes a big difference if the white person is the man/father rather than the woman/mother.
It just occurred to me that the other difference is that your son looks fully Indian (I presume), while ours is pretty clearly mixed-race. Perhaps they stare at you because they can’t figure out how your son simply doesn’t resemble you at all. I lived in Mexico for several years, and the whole concept of “adoption” (outside the extended family) is pretty foreign to them. Mexico and Malaysia share many similarities; perhaps this is one.
The first time I ever went to Malaysia - coming up on 20 years ago (and damn I feel old) I was stared at a lot. My sweet husband and family tried to reassure me that it was because I was so pretty. The kids, honest to a fault, clued me in that it was more that I was so fat I didn’t mind so much as it felt to me like a friendly, curious kind of thing. It is not common to see a mixed-race couple in Malaysia - if at all, it is usually Indian and Chinese.
I lost a lot of weight when I was in my 30’s and can say, got stares only when out with my husband. And yes, just simple curiosity – a glance that holds a few seconds longer than usual. When out in public on my own, I felt mostly invisible (which is my standard operating default and one I am comfortable with). By Malaysian standards, I am still an Amazon, or feel it anyway. Though I’ve noticed in the past 20 years of visits that obesity is creeping its way into SE Asia as well, and in perfect pitch to every new fast food restaurant they build.
It is most definitely the adoption of our Indian son. I won’t go into it much other than to say I do understand some Malay (and my young nieces understand and of youthful exuberance often translate some unkind remarks made in Tamil). This doesn’t happen often — the speculation about whether I’m some rich family’s European maid (giggling niece translation) or wondering what that “mat salleh” is doing with that “Keling” – don’t need a translator for that.
I am surprised that you feel you don’t get stared at, at all. I have an American friend who is also married to a Malaysian. She has mentioned the same feeling I have, though it doesn’t bother her at all. I am shy and dislike attention, so I probably do make it a bigger deal in my mind than it should be.
I think that idea of staring being rude is more of a cultural norm in the U.S. My husband insists that it is universal and no less rude in Malaysia, but I don’t see that reflected in Malaysian behaviors. I seldom get a rude stare vibe. It seems genuine curiosity, but unlike the “oh so discreet” glance and look away quickly and pretend you didn’t see anything unusual, it is more frank staring and craning as I move past, nudging each other so the clueless companion doesn’t miss out. And I ain’t a celebrity or a Victoria’s Secret model. Chubby, middle aged, librarian-ish. All that’s missing are the glasses on a chain.
Thank you, Tracijo, for sharing your experiences so eloquently. Makes sense to me. It’s certainly true that the social taboo against staring is not universal. Malaysia is changing rapidly (you noted, for example, eating habits, alas), so this might be changing there, too, though naturally things change much more slowly in th “kampung” (rural, usually relatively poor villages – mostly ethnic Malay.)
I used to work with an Indian guy that married a Caucasian woman. He also drank alcohol (vodka tonics), listened to classic rock and ate beef.
… and?
Not unusual. My husband is Catholic. Not all Indians are Hindu or Muslim or of any particular religion (or mindset) that would prohibit from eating pork or beef and drinking alcohol. Or listening to hard rock, for that matter.
That’s my point.
What assertion is your point supposed to be refuting? 