I dated a man from India more than 30 years ago.
There’s been plenty of dating and marriage between Bengalis (ethnic Bengalis, anyway–some from countries we wouldn’t call “India” now) and African Americans in Harlem: http://bengaliharlem.com/
Well in LA a lot of white (and east-Asian for that matter)American women are born and raised in LA are in the whole Hollywood “white guys are the most desirable” mindset. Nearly all the white women I’ve dated whilst living in LA were not from LA. They were from very white places in the midwest, and they found non-white guys fascinating.
The Indian geek stereotype doesn’t really exist in the UK since most of the Indians there have parents who came over as labourers. They ended up working in the factories, going to pubs, and mixed in with working class whites. Also, immigration from India ended in the 70s, so nearly Indian person you come across in UK under 40 will have a British accent. Contrast this with the US, where a lot of them are engineers or IT folk who have only been here very recently & have a strong Indian accent.
I’m not talking about the Indian geek stereotype, here. I’m talking about the ethnic makeup of different segments of the population in the US. Indians are disproportionately represented in American graduate schools and in professions that demand a lot of education. Therefore, if you’re a highly-educated woman, your chances of meeting and connecting with an Indian man are probably higher than those of less-educated women.
Some of my lack of clarity in my last post may have come from the use of the word “geek,” which is, admittedly, somewhat ambiguous. What I’d meant to say was that, if you have intellectual interests and have made them a major part of your life, you probably want someone else who’s done the same. If that’s the case, you’re more likely to meet Indians, since they make up a much larger proportion of the population in grad school and in professional jobs that require advanced degrees.
In the US, at least, recent Indian and other South Asian immigrants tend to fall into two broad classes: 1) People who work as taxi drivers or do other menial labor, maybe working their way up to owing a small corner grocery, restaurant, or motel; and 2) People who come as grad students (with a history of high achievement and the potential even greater accomplishment) or specialized workers (highly skilled–and often highly paid–workers whose abilities are in great demand.)
As a result, the common image of Indians in the US is often strangely schizophrenic, divided between the stereotype of taxi drivers/corner shop owners, etc., and that of the super-smart, sometimes super-nerdy guys who blow the curve for everyone else.
interesting
so in the UK, how often do Indians mix it up with Europeans other than the Brits?
like with Polish, Italian, etc.
One of Texas’s public universities. The Texas Gulf coast area has a fairly large population of immigrants and 2nd and 3rd generation Americans from the Indian subcontinent compared to other parts of the country. Almost any institution of higher learning in our area has some Hindu student organizations and I have been told (again this is the opionion of late teen early twenties college students) that the our local univeristies are considered great “search grounds” for Indian young adults looking for love matches that would also result in parent approved marriages. The cost of higher education is also less expensive than in many parts of the country. I don’t know your circumstances, but if you are looking to expand your education and meet some nice women of Indian ethnicity, Texas universities have a lot to offer. (Sorry, couldn’t resist the plug for my state’s higher education opportuniites).
nah, not interested in Indian women
I wanna know of areas in the US that have White women who are open to dating Indian men
I am sure Texas is probably not one of those areas
Actually, parts of it probably are. Think of all the cities and universities in Texas. Think of all the folks who work for Hewlett-Packard. I’ve never been to Austin, but it has a reputation for being pretty progressive and inclusive.
I feel like an idiot. I didn’t even see ZPG Zealot’s post before I dashed off my own.
Having a lot of other Indians in the community reduces the extent to which you’re seen as an outsider in that area. That can make networks easier to form, and, therefore, non-Indian chicks easier to meet. (On the other hand, that also means it’s harder to cash in on any perceived exoticness to pick up somewhat sheltered or naive women, too.)
Curious Man–you seem to be making your ethnic and national background a major issue, when it really isn’t. If you go to anywhere even a bit cosmopolitan in the US, you’ll find there are women of all ethnicities who are happy to go out with Indian men. If you’re having trouble getting dates, there might be something other than your background getting in the way.
Besides–why do you particularly want to date white women, anyway?
Am I the only one thinking of Blazing Saddles right now? (Where all the white women at?)
I will have to say, candidly, that the culture gap will be your biggest problem here, irrespective of racial background. If you are a recent immigrant (you declined to answer the question posed up thread, so I will assume), there is an issue of accent, clothing, scent, etc. For better or worse, ‘foreign-ness’ is generally not considered a plus unless you belong to a European culture (Brit, Scot, Irish, French, Italian, etc.)
So the question is, how readily are you assimilating? In a small town, this is a big deal…some women might be turned on by exotic men, but will not ‘pair down’ in the opinion of their peer group. Exotic looks are more acceptable than exotic behavior. in a closed community.
So, basically any large, urban setting solves your problem (all other things being equal)…social norms are less of an issue, and individual merit has more of a chance to shine.
Several of my own relatives and acquaintances married non-Indian women in the 1960s and 1970s. These days, it’s even more common.
Anyway, look at some of celebrity couplings. Elizabeth Hurley is married to an Indian man. Salman Rushdie has been married to three non-Indian women. Danny Pudi’s father was Indian and his mother non-Indian. Same with Lisa Ray. It’s not impossible.
One of my (mostly Irish) first cousins once removed married an Indian guy awhile back. I think they split up a couple of years ago.
They have twin daughters, both with bright red hair and swarthy-ish complexions.
I guess I am just naturally more attracted to White women.
Grew up around a lot of White people in the south. None of them really dated interracial though, especially not the women except for one or two with a black man.
Has someone mentioned Dr. Puneet Gupta? Married a blonde and in a Hindu ceremony.
A wedding announcement I saw a few yrs ago, the bride was a blonde and married into Indian family. I think they accepted her because she was a doctor.
I’m an Indian man (a man of Indian extraction, at any rate) married to a white American woman. She’s pretty hot, too.
What do I win?
After serious relationships with a Japanese, then Swiss and then German girl, my India-born-and-raised brother is now married to a (different) German. Admittedly, all took place in very multi-cultural Switzerland and the UAE…
I wouldn’t say so, but I know a gypsy who was mistaken for an Indian in India.
My wife’s cousin - an extremely fair-skinned Minnesotan from Swedish stock - married a man who grew up in the US but whose parents were both from India. Their daughter has gorgeous coloring like a Starbucks latte. They also recently adopted a little girl from India, which is normally only permitted if one of the parents is Indian.
One of my best friends from graduate school was dating, and then married a Mexican American woman. They had a ceremony in India and one in California. Without doubt, the most ethnically secure couple I’ve ever known. He was in no way a sellout, nor she. They have three beautiful girls now, been married about 10 years now.
I found it interesting that someone upthread asked about Americans’ obsession with race. Both my Indian friend and I grew up in the UK - he was in Middlesbrough, I was in Oxfordshire and Suffolk. Having spent most of my childhood avoiding skinheads and National Front wannabes in shopping centres, I can assure you it is not just Americans that obsess over race. I’ve never been called a racial epithet to my face in America - but I was called wog, jungle bunny, nigger… you name it in Britain in the 1970s. My Indian friend dealt with every insult under the sun as well.
So no, it ain’t just America.
My thesis adviser was an Indian (Bengali) man, married to a very sweet, kind, white, (US) American lady. His colleagues in India, and even most (Indian) students at his (Indian) institute regarded her as a status symbol, according to him the respect due to someone who has achieved a level of social acceptability they could only envy (“he has a phoren wife!”). His Indian relatives, however, took a ve-e-ry long time to warm up to the new bride, because she wasn’t really “one of us” (i.e. the subservient Bengali daughter-in-law). They have a beautiful , charming, daughter. However, I am sorry to say that this “remarkable social achievement” did not stop him from making a pass at his (more tanned) student, but that is a story for another thread.
I have another (Punjabi) Indian colleague and friend, of a rather laid-back temperament, married to a Russian lady whose temperament can be often shrewish. Please do not make any assumptions about misogyny here – she has quite a temper and frequently lashes out at her dearly beloved in public, at the top of her voice. Nevertheless, he himself admits that his compatriots treat him with a great deal of respect whenever they find out that he is married to a white woman. The fact that most Indians fall at her feet (metaphorically speaking), even when she shouts at them speaks volumes about both them and her, but which volumes, I will leave for you to debate.
I also know a Welsh lady married to an Indian gentleman, but theirs appears to be a happy marriage (fingers crossed). The wife has adopted (at least externally) “Indian culture”, but again, the change in behavior of his Indian compatriots on meeting his wife for the first time is just mind boggling.
I do not know of any Indian man -Black woman marriages, but then, I have heard some truly appalling and racist remarks about black women from Indian men, so perhaps I should not be too surprised. The one Indian -woman, white-man marriage I knew of resulted in a divorce (much to the delighted crowing of her relatives), with the lady finding herself more -or-less an outcast as far as the latter were concerned.
My guess is that interracial marriages work as long as Indian spouse is out of India, or a 2nd generation immigrant. For 1st generation immigrants, or worse, for Indians who will return back to India, the social pressures and the culture shock are simply too stressful. The relationships that survive will often involve women of a lower educational status than the man, or those who are willing to compromise a lot. Further, if the wedding took place in India, then a divorce will be hard to obtain. This is because, unless the bride converts to her husband’s religion, the marriage will fall under the Indian civil marriage act, under which it is notoriously difficult to get a divorce. My Russian friend is convinced that she will have to run away to Russia and never return to India if she should ever want a divorce!.