I have an acquaintance who’s white and has an Indian American boyfriend.
My friend’s brother (they’re Indian American) almost exclusively dates black women.
lol known any indian players?
My husband is ethnically Indian, and I am so pale as to be almost translucent. 
We’ve been married for almost 13 years, have one child, and live in “The South”. It’s never been much of an issue, and hardly ever comes up in conversation.
My husband has several siblings, all married to Caucasians, and are spread all over the U.S. from coast to coast and in between.
Husband of FaerieBeth, here. I can’t believe I dusted off my membership (it has been years) for this, but could not resist.
Ethnically Indian here, though a generation removed (parents are actually from Guyana, grandparents from India). Born and raised in the US.
Is it an issue? No more than any other interracial dynamic, and less than some I have noticed. Before I got married, I dealt with some women that just weren’t interested because I am brown, but I won’t say it kept me from happiness or anything.
Of course, I am also not terribly culturally Indian- I am Catholic, and am very ‘East Coast,’ since I spent most of my formative years in either NYC or in New England. I am not terribly stereotypical, either, being of a literary bent rather than scientific, and have a New England accent that’s softened a bit with my years living in the South. Pretty much, I’m a white dude with a nice tan and awesome hair.
I’ve lived in larger communities most of my life, so the dating pool was considerable. The one place I did feel ‘undateable’ was in a smaller community, however. Like most things, there is a real urban/rural divide when it comes to social norms.
that is my worry
attracting women while having an Indian/Middle Eastern (I am northern indian) like appearance
A friend-of-a-friend who I met a couple of times is a white American woman married to an Indian (born in India) man.
If other parts of the subcontinent count, I also know a woman whose father is a Pakistani immigrant and mother is a white American.
I am Gay, but I believe I can speak for all heterosexual men and say you are not the only one ever to be worried about being able to attract women - regardless of your race.
With attraction there is usually a whole lot more going on that simply a matter of racial ethnicity…body type, personality, financial and social status, age…all of those matter in the grand scheme of things.
Are there some women who might be put off simply because you are of Indian origin? Sure. But there are some women who would also be put off if you were short, or fat, or poor, or had no teeth, or had body odor or any number of things even if you were born in Boston and your third cousins were members of the Kennedy family.
I would imagine you being of Indian origin might be more your problem than a problem with most American women. You might be a tad over-eager to use this as the reason that hot blonde in the bar never looked at you twice - when in reality, you simply did not meet her other criteria (rich, famous, a hunk and hung like a pony) that had nothing whatsoever to do with you being from Indian origin.
And yes, I have met Indian men (and women) who are married and quite happy with non-Indian spouses. As a huge fan of Indian food, I humbly admit to trying to make friends with everyone I ever meet from India - with hopes of getting a nice little Tupperware container filled with their left over dinner from last night. Guilty as charged for being an Indian food fanboy.
well would you say Europe is harder or easier than the US for most Indian men?
I dated a woman in college whose father was an Indian-born man who had emigrated to the US as a young adult, I think. Her mother was a British-born woman (of English ethnicity).
Her father was, somewhat stereotypically, an engineer and professor of engineering.
I would have no problem dating an Indian man if I were free to date.
However, all the Indian men I have known come from families that are determined their sons will marry the nice Indian girl the parents have chosen for them.
Maybe times have changed since then.
Dated a guy from Delhi once. Had problems with cultural incompatibilities. His looks were great!
(I’m a white female from Europe. At this time I was living in Ireland.)
Okay, so I’ll bite…
You say your experience is small town USA. Were you born and raised in this small town or have you a recently emigrated from India? From the little info you’ve given us, I am deducing that you are, indeed, an Indian male? Are you the only Indian guy in town, and so your prospective dating pool is composed of only women of other races?
Speaking candidly, my experience with my own “interracial” relationship is that any stumbling blocks are less a difference of ethnicity and more an incompatibility of culture and ideas.
Mate of mine is Indian, his partner is Irish.
I’m of Indian heritage, born and raised in UK. I’m currently living in Los Angeles & the lady that I’m currently dating is Chinese-American.
[ul]
[li]I used to work with a guy who was originally from Delhi, who met and married a Hong Kong Chinese lady he met at university in Los Angeles.[/li]
[li]A Chinese-American lady in my grad school class had a husband originally from Calcutta in India.[/li]
[li]My cousin in the UK had been married twice, once to a white English lady, and secondly to a white Irish lady.[/li]
[li]Nearly every single British-Indian guy I knew as a teenager back in UK had a white girlfriend.[/li][/ul]
One thing I have noticed in the US, is that there is a very negative stigma attached to Indian men. I guess this is because of stereotypes in the media. I’ve had women admit to me that they were only open to the idea of dating me because I’m not from India, so in their opinion I’m not “really Indian”.
I guess my upbringing was a bit different from many Indians in that my family have zero issues with who I marry.
Plenty, I knew a guy who at 14 was sleeping with an 18 year old white girl. Aged 16 he got a white girl the same age pregnant. My cousin has 4 kids from 3 women. One of the women is Italian.
Easier. I always assume that a lot of British women are open to Indian men, I don’t feel that a lot of American women are.
Exactly - I don’t think an old school traditional Indian man is compatible with a woman raised in the west. He has to be a bit more open minded for it to succeed.
For me personally, I won’t date a woman who’s religious and/or a vegetarian because I’m neither. I see almost no clash between my values and the average British or American.
Well, it depends a lot on the American woman’s background and attitudes, of course. I can’t speak for the entire population of American women, but I’d guess that women who are college-educated and above (especially those who’ve been to grad school) are, on average, much more open to intercultural or interracial dating than their less-educated sisters.
Part of that may be that those of us with intellectual inclinations tend to be more open to experience to begin with. Part of that might be that–look, if you’re a geek, you’re probably looking to date other geeks. There really aren’t that many of them around, and if you limit your dating pool with ethnic restrictions, you’re going to have a much harder time finding someone. If you come across a smart, funny Indian guy who shares your grad school experience, that’s a lot more attractive than a guy of any background who doesn’t.
A book that might be of interest to some of you in this thread: The Karma of Brown Folk. It’s a thought-provoking and accessible discussion of stereotypes about Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, and Nepalis in the USA.
Oh yeah. I work at a university with a fairly largely Indian student population. My department had one student worker a few years ago, very handsome young man, but complete jerk of a personality. He seemed to always have a couple of women he was stringing along. They ranged from American white, Hispanic, Black, Indian, etc. He even had women get into catfights over him. After he graduated he went home and married a women his parents picked out for him.
On the non-jerk side of the equation, I see plenty of couples on our campus involving Indian men and women of other races though probably more couples were both partner are Indian. According to my Hindu student workers (bear in mind that this is just the opinion of late teen early twenty something males) for “wife material” they look for vegetarians. Of the many things that can drive a relationship apart arguing about what to eat on a date ranks pretty high and many have said quite frankly their fathers would get over a lot of differences if the daughter-in-law could cook food they liked.
As a side note the Sikh guys love it when the English Patient is shown on campus. It always helps their dating and/or hook up potential.
I have to concede that, though I’ve known many Indians-from-India, I’ve never seen an Indian man in a real relationship with a non-Indian woman.
I worked with an Indian guy who liked to date me while he was over here–all the time with an intended fiancee back in India. I was single and didn’t mind because all it involved were dinners and movies, more like hanging out with a friend than anything else… except he’d always start it with chaperones who would mysteriously have to leave early.
I did know an Indian woman in a relationship with an American woman. But that isn’t what the thread is about.
might I ask, what university is this?