I’m not being argumentative but I don’t understand. I cut my thumb this morning and I don’t think I got endorphins. I was slightly upset that it happened and now my thumb hurts. What is the difference between what I experienced and the quote?
Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor nor even particularly familiar with the human body here, I’m just repeating what I’ve heard, so my explanation may be all messed up. Anyone with more scientific knowledge is quite welcome to dive in!
As far as I understand biology, your body did release some endorphins, but not very much and it’s not something you particularly feel under normal conditions. I never ‘felt’ the endorphins, per se, all I knew is that if I cut myself (usually repeatedly over a few minutes/hours) my incredibly upset state of mind would slowly relax. The doctors tell me that endorphins are part of why that happens, so I’ll take their word for it. (There are other reasons than just the endorphins, of course.) When I’m already in a good state of mind, my reaction to injuries is as normal.
Just once. Barely drew blood. Went immediately to my therapist and we addressed it before it became a habit.
Thank you for the insight, FlyByNight512.
Like others have said, it’s a way to deal with emotional pain. Physical pain is just easier to deal with/more immediate so it gives you something else to focus on for a little bit- something manageable. I typically scrape/scratch or hit myself. Nothing that would leave a mark. I also don’t do it very often anymore. Once I cut my thumb but that hurt too much. : p When I was younger, I would give myself rug burns. (This is the most uncomfortable post I’ve ever written.)
Does pulling out beard hair count? (When I was a kid, it was eyelashes.)
Thanks. Yeah, it’s been hard, but I just keep reminding myself that living with the hangovers, fear of eventual liver failure, and near slavish obsession with alcohol wasn’t exactly easy either. Good to hear that it’ll get better.
My sister used to be a cutter. The concept of “cutting” and self-injuring in general; as a way of inflicting immediate physical pain to mask and avoid emotional pain; has always struck me as something that just sounds too, I don’t know, neat, or conceptual to really work.
I know that’s not a very good job of explaining myself, but it’s difficult to do so. I have always just felt that cutting seemed too simple (albeit not easy or pleasant) of a remedy, even a short-term one, to do anything significant for one’s inner troubles. It sounds almost symbolic or metaphoric to me.
But it is interesting to hear from those (apart from my own sister) who actually have engaged in this type of behavior and say that it really does do something.
Does performing minor surgery on yourself count? I’ve sliced off a few moles and warts to get rid of them.
Wikipedia tells me that trichotillomania is on the OCD spectrum, but if it’s something you’re doing to soothe yourself emotionally I suppose you could call it self-harm. (The definitions for this stuff is flexible and really depends more on what’s going on between your ears than what the exact behaviors are.) If it distresses you, by all means seek treatment for it.
Yup. That ‘it gets better’ meme? It’s somewhat corny, but true. I hope you’ll start experiencing some of the good parts of recovery soon.
The Man With The Golden Gun would have to tell you if it counts for the purposes of this poll, but psychologists probably wouldn’t call that self harm, since it has a purpose outside of causing pain and isn’t a response to emotional disturbance. (And you presumably would have chosen not to feel the pain if you could easily have done so.)
Other things that involve pain and/or harm but aren’t usually included in the DSM-IV definition of ‘self harm’ include piercings, tattoos, long term physical damage from things like alcoholism, or risky behavior that’s likely to result in injury. Some of those things definitely are problems (and parents may well think that piercings and tattoos count as mutilation!), but psychologists put them in a different category than ‘causing pain in response to immediate emotional disturbance’ aka ‘self harm’. Again, the boundaries between various psychological diagnoses are somewhat flexible, and I have yet to hear of anyone whose problems are summed up by only one label. Most of us get to claim half a dozen before we’re done.
Do cuticles count?
Oops, nevermind.
I don’t cut myself but I have been known to seek out pain in more acceptable ways. Like I got a lot of ear piercings as a teen (have all but 2 now), and for a while I liked to get beat up in karate class. Now I just give blood and beat myself up at the gym. I find that I like the pain aspects of those activities better than I like the other aspects (giving blood: altruism, gym: fitness).
Not unless hitting yourself on the head or putting your head in the wall counts. And only during my recent drug withdrawal.
Back when I was 15 my 11yo step-sister (who was quite literally an evil little biatch; she used to proudly regale us at the dinner table every night with stories about who she’d picked on that day at school and just how bad she’d made them feel. She also prided herself on her religious devotion. I’d be very surprised if in the 24 years since I last saw her she hasn’t hounded someone to suicide just for the fun of it) devoted a whole afternoon to pushing my buttons.
It got me so angry that instead of punching her, I punched the metal column of a spiral staircase that was next to us at the time, and splintered the bones in my hand. The 3rd and 4th knuckles on my right hand are misplaced to this day because I showed forbearance.
I know that sounds messed up, but that 11yo really was the most vile person I’ve ever met. I honestly hope she’s having a really crappy life.
Huh, that’s an interesting definition of “forbearance”; being a big enough man at 15 to resist striking an 11yr old girl who is annoying you. :dubious:
If I’d been in his shoes I would have been extremely tempted to deck the little sociopath too. The point is that he didn’t. Molesworth 2, did the adults in the family try to stop her, or did they think she could do no wrong?
..
A friend of mine described it as “getting past the skip in your mental record”, and I agree. When the head stuff gets so overwhelming and you get caught in a seemingly endless loop of whatever (guilt, anger, fear, grief, self-loathing, depression, pick your poison), a bit of external stimulus can kick you out of that rut, at least in the short term. I never had to do more than very superficial cuts, nothing that ever needed stitches or anything, but I do still have some scars from doing it repeatedly in the same place.
I did it once (therefore, didn’t answer the poll). I had found out the day before that my husband had a pregnant girlfriend (I had a young child at the time as well).
What I wanted to happen was for my husband to see what I had done and drop to his knees and say “Oh, what pain I have caused you! I can never get over my betrayal and now understand how much I have hurt you and regret it so! Please let me spend my life dedicated to you and our marriage! I now realize just how much hurt I have created!”
What I got was “Goddamn you really need to get yourself together and don’t let the kids see you like that. You better not be fuckin’ cryin’ in front of the kids. Bye.”
So - that didn’t work. It was a complete attention getting thing for me - I just wanted my outside to look as ugly as the inside felt so he (and anyone else that would listen) would understand how much pain I was in. Never did it again. It hurt like hell healing up - sliced my arm open about 5 times with a scalpel, nothing very deep though. I knew I didn’t want to die, if for no other reason than just for my kids. They were not in the house when this happened, BTW, and have never known about it.