I thought about it, sure. However, my plans tend to run into that snag of my not having the resources, finances, or the brains to build an unstoppable superweapon. (I’ve always been a fan of the whole “orbital laser array” setup.)
Then I have to face the sad fact that I probably wouldn’t have the skill or the talent to administrate the world in even a halfway competant way, and I’d just end up desperately ordering mass slaughters* to try and fix things, probably after I’d ended up burning through my budget and torpedoing the global economy within a year. Followed by mass starvation, civil chaos, and the dropping of “Tsar Bombas.”
In short, I’d love to be a Meiji or a Caesar…but I’d probably end up being a Mao or a Pol Pot. Guys who might have had the POTENTIAL to do good with their absolute power, but just ended up ****ing things up even worse than they were before.
*—Of course, I’d probably be ordering mass slaughters from Day-1 anyway. You know, people who pissed me off…criminals…“useless undesirables.” The usual.
A few years ago, I was ready to take over the world. Everything was in place: big switch, list of the usual suspects, etc., etc… Then, twenty minutes before H-hour, I took a break to answer a question in GQ and forgot about the whole damn thing.
If anybody sees a big switch laying around, could you mail it back?
My plan is simple, enforce the rule of the road. Anyone caught changing lanes without using their blinker would be imprisoned for life. After about a week or two I would be the only person allowed to drive a car. It should be easy from there.
I was considering it, but then I saw, Operation Gelleaux and figured, “Hey, this guy’s plan is much much better than mine.” So I gave up and decided to become one of his minions.
I guarantee, no more than an hour after I seized total control, everyone and their Uncle Oscar would be calling me up on the horn to complain about something.
Furthermore, no matter how good I made things, it would never stop. You can’t make everyone happy. Why, then, am I sacrificing my remaining mortal years trying to make a bunch of ungrateful strangers happy?
So I went to the movies, instead.
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Ya know, for some reason it doesn’t suprise me that you had thought about it about some length .
Why? I don’t know, why be a doctor, or lawyer? I suppose so you can be filthy stinking rich, and because control is a desirable thing to have. Plus, there would have to be some amount of satisfaction with making people happy. Of course, who says you even have to be a good ruler? You could turn the world into a 184 Orwellian hellhole if you’d like.
Seriously, like as in sitting down for a few minutes, and thinking about taking over the world in the same way some might consider being a veterinarian, libarian, or cop as a career. Maybe even dusting off your copies of “The Art of War” and Machievelle’s “The Prince”.
What about annoying cell phone users who stroll into a Barnes and Nobles, plops down on one of the four very comfortable chairs they have, and then proceed to talk to someone on the phone for an hour or two without ever having touched a book or magazine, just so other people can see and hear them talk to somebody? Don’t they get anything? Lifetime in prison? Death? Torture?
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