Not me, but I was with a group of friends - including my gf - sitting on my front porch. She suddenly turned to a friend of mine who was kinda sitting behind her and gave him a evil look. She thought that he had thrown something into her hair. He was innocent. The bird that no one saw fly over was the guilty one. Turns out that was the third time she had been pooped on. Out of 7 of us, she was the only one who had gotten hit before and she is the one who got it again.
I wonder if they aim…
Only happened once and it was not on my head but on my arm. A very unpleasant experience. I was at the beach, lounging on my towel, relaxing in the sun, and then the bird poop landed on my arm. Incredibly gross!
Not my head, but on my arm. Thankfully I was wearing long sleeves.
And even more thankfully, my friend had a spare t-shirt in her locker for me to change into.
[straight man] Why cochrane, what’s so special about being crapped on by the infamous Foo Bird? [/straight man]
Never been hit myself, but I did subject my family and friends to a pretty high risk at my wedding years ago. Got married in a park, trees everywhere and the ceremony itself was on a picturesque stone bridge so there were ducks and geese occasionally taking to the air.
The only one that got it was the very snooty bitchy wife of my cousin. Direct hit to the head and part of it drooped down to one shoulder, and it’s one of the highlights of that day! 
Not yet.
I had a really close call once, though - I was in a parking lot, getting out of my car. As I began walking away, I noticed a seagull take off from its perch on a lamp post, headed right over me. I had a really bad feeling about that, so I stopped, and took a couple of steps backwards.
Right at that moment, the bird unleashed a veritable torrent of flying feces. It tumbled and spread as it fell, splattering an astoundingly large area just a yard or two in front of me. I’m not exaggerating when I say the detritus of this epic avian bowel movement was evident on several vehicles. To this day, I’m sure it was gunning for me.
Also, one time I was playing tennis in college, and a (smaller) bird decided to take a dump on my opponent. I won that match. 
Countless times. Heck, I paid GOOD MONEY for the ‘pleasure’.
Course, he’s my African Grey, so I guess I can’t complain a whole lot. He hasn’t actually shat on my head, but shoulder, back, knee, legs, yeah, it’s happened. And he’s productive too. For all that, he’s pretty close to housetrained. I’ll take him out of the cage, place him on the perch, say ‘gope’ (his contraction of ‘go poop’) and he’ll be good for 15-20 minutes.
Twice.
Considering how much time I sped outside camping and whatnot, I figure I’m doing okay.
It’s been happening a lot recently. I think throughout my life, I’m at about 8 times on my head or shoulder.
I was golfing with my brother when a couple of Canadien geese flew overhead. Just as they passed I was hit in the chest by something, I thought it was a golf ball. Nope, goose crap. I took my shirt off and was golfing topless, a few holes later a course marshall stopped and told me I had to have a shirt on. After explaining what happened, he decided it was okay, we only had a few holes left to play.
As far as the “not me” story, the best one was during a roll out ceremony for the first 737 for a customer. The president of the airline was on a podium addressing the crowd when a couple seagulls flew over. One let go from about 10 feet above the speaker, the white stuff hit him in the jacket from about the belt line to the shoulder. The company officials were mortified, most in the crowd were shocked while others, me included, busted out laughing. He calmly took off the jacket, looked at the mess then asked if anybody wanted a new $300 jacket, size 42 regular, that needed a bit of cleaning.
Ya know. If the Foo shits, wear it!
I got bombed by a seagull while taking the ferry from Seattle to … Port Angeles, I think. I blame my dad. He had been making nonstop seagull jokes from the time we boarded the ferry, and I’m sure the bird was aiming for him and missed.
Fortunately, I was wearing a trench coat and fedora, so I didn’t actually get any on me. I just needed a quick trip to the men’s room to wipe the shit off my coat and hat.
When Christmas rolled around, my Mom bought me a baseball cap with fake bird crap all over it and the words “DAMN SEAGULLS!”. I think I still have it, somewhere.
I heard it was “good luck”, but it’s tough to see how, particularly. Probably a soothing refrain from parents when the kiddies complain. As a practical matter the larger waterfowl can really be, uh, impressive at times. One time hiking along a trout stream I startled a “crane” or blue heron that had been fishing just a few feet away in one of the holes. It flew away, but prior to take off it jettisoned. Glad it wasn’t on me, was all I could think.
Yes. On the way to a job interview. For some reason I got the job, which wound up being one of the worst I’ve ever had.
Wonder if that pigeon was trying to tell me something?
Never to me, but when I was in high school I was dating a girl and we were out playing basketball. It happened to her and was quite possibly the funniest thing I ever saw.
She was pretty embarrassed but it was a comical event…
Brendon Small
Not on the head but on the shoulder once which was still pretty bad.
Trees are in short supply in Bangkok, but there are a few areas that still have them, and it’s happened to me. Along Silom Road, a main business area, the birds are thick on the wires above, and the sidewalk tends to turn white with guano. It’s not happened to me on that street, but surely someone’s been blessed with a little present.
Not on my head, but on my arm. I was visiting a friend on Vashon Island and I was talking to a guy she was trying set me up with.
Suddenly, a very large and loud splat hit my bare arm. A seagull flying overhead decided to dump on my arm. Although it was really disgusting, I was amazed at how cold it felt.
I saw it when a gut we grew up with went off to the marines. he came back with a nice tight brush cut . He walked across the street feeling bad. Then the only condor that every passed through Michigan unloaded on the top of his coconut. Timing was perfect there were about 6 guys and a couple girls for witnesses.
Then the famous fCyndy Lauper in an outdoor concert getting a load right in her open mouth.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPpLId1HTIg Bush getting a taliban bird hit.