1. Have you completed school?
High school diploma at 17, bachelor’s degree at 21, master’s degree at 36. I have no interest in a doctorate, but could see maybe going back for a second master’s someday. So, mostly?
2. Have you left home?
At 22.
3. Have you become financially independent?
The road started at 22, but I didn’t really get there until I was 26.
4. Have you married?
No. Lived with a guy for a while, if that counts. Getting married someday isn’t out of the question, but it’s not a goal. Probably largely because of my answer to #5.
5. Have you had a child?
No, and I don’t want to.
There’s a bit of a heterosexist bias in society, my friend. Not to mention a nice little bias towards those who wish to reproduce.
I left home and I’ve been financially independent for a couple of decades now. But I’ve never been married or had a child. I dropped out of college but I’m thinking of going back to finish a degree. So I give myself two and a half points out of a possible five. I’m 48 years old and halfway to being an adult.
When 30 year old yuppies can marry and expect their parents to throw them a $100K wedding and buy them a house, I’d say it’s not that different.
Honestly, I’d say that becoming a parent is a more ‘adult’ act than marriage, inasmuch as it makes you wholly responsible for someone else’s well-being. But neither automatically makes you an adult, any more than not doing either automatically makes you not an adult.
More or less. Still have some debt (student loans, mortgage, etc.), but I don’t rely on my parents for money.
Yes
Working on that
And yes, there is pressure from my parents and his parents to achieve number 5. I can’t will my body to ovulate… that would make it all so much easier. Damn you, PCOS!
I question whether the criteria are complete measures. Brings to mind what happened to me when I went to pick up my new glasses. I waited in the front area of the shop for a while, listening to amused sounds in the back and when I had waited long enough stepped into the back to find some help.
There I interupted twenty- and thirty-something young men. One riding an equipment cart and the other pushing it. One was the optometrist.
Looked like fun and something I might be tempted to do myself. But during work hours? Please.
I’ve long since completed the above tasks but wouldn’t mind being included in the Oreos for dinner set. Just don’t do it in front of the kids.
Any woman want to complete 4 and 5 in one fell swoop, I’d just like to take this opportunity to say I’m available. The ultimate modern day man-child, a rare once in a lifetime opportunity to get married and experience the joy of picking up after someone else… without the pain of childbirth. Remember, I’ll also demand you bring me a bottle *and *whine about going to bed (when drunk enough), just like a real kid.
Living independently is mostly a cultural thing… there are plenty of places in the world where that isn’t feasible, even with a job and spouse and kids. And what exactly is “completing school”? Getting a GED? Getting a PhD? Getting married and having kids seems highly optional too.
Anyhoo…
1. Have you completed school? Yes. I got my PhD at age 26. 2. Have you left home? Yes. I haven’t been back for more than two weeks (vacations) since I left for college at 18. 3. Have you become financially independent? Yes. I haven’t taken money from my parents since I was 22. I bought a house and a car on my own, before I met my husband. 4. Have you married? Yes. And I’m still married, by gum. 5. Have you had a child? I’m cooking one right now. I will be 30 when I give birth.
Having said what I said above… having done these five things made my 30th birthday way easier to face than it would have been otherwise. For me personally, these traditional milestones were important, and were the things I really wanted in life.
Interesting topic. For me personally, I’m 39 and completed all these milestones before the age of 30.
1. Have you completed school? Like Steely Dan, I ain’t never goin’ back to my old school. Except for reunions, conducting on-campus interviews and if my own kids end up going to those schools, of course. But not for classes.
** 2. Have you left home?** Yes, and no. I don’t live with my parents, but I do live only half a mile away from them, and see them at least once a week.
** 3. Have you become financially independent?** From my parents, yes. From my employer, well, obviously not. I’ve been gainfully employed since finishing college, and was earning more than either of my parents (individually) by the age of 26.
4. Have you married? I got married at age 27.
** 5. Have you had a child?** Yes, at 28. (It’s why I got married to my girlfriend of nearly 10 years - we wanted to start a family and didn’t want to raise no bastards :))
My financial and relational stability starting within a few years of finishing college is at the core of all these answers.
Did our parents and loved ones push us for any of these milestones? Well yeah. My parents actually pushed for me to go back to school for an advanced degree, but after tasting the life of someone financially independent, I had no desire to suspend my earning to take on more debt (even if my parents were footing the tuition) to get a Master’s degree which I didn’t think would pay off for itself.
My parents (and my gf/wife’s parents) eventually started to ask, subtly or overtly, about the “settling down/having kids” question, but I wouldn’t say we were “pushed” into it. More a sense of not wanting to do it too late in life - we saw plenty of 38-40 year olds desperately trying to have their first child, and figured, why not do it while it’s a biological lay-up? (Fast forward 5 years and 4 months after our wedding and we have three kids, at which point we took Steps To End The Series Progression.)
Ha! I read the same article and wondered the same thing. Okay, I am 33 and
Have you completed school? MBA in 2007 no plans on PhD
Have you left home? in 2002
Have you become financially independent? in 2002
Have you married? No. Not likely in my lifetime.
Have you had a child? No. Been researching sperm donation.
It is only recently that I have started feeling old/adult. I felt like I was 22 for a decade. But when I noticed that I needed a pill organizer, my metabolism/alcohol tolerance hit the crapper, plus went through my third round of unemployment I felt OLD.
I’ve been gainfully employed since finishing college, and was earning more than either of my parents (individually) by the age of 26.