I’ve always had a baby face. Even in 8th grade I remember getting shit from the 7th graders who couldn’t believe I was a year older than them… I’m 30 now and from what I’ve heard from multiple people I look like I’m somewhere between 22 and 24.
Anyway, I’ve recently started online dating and it hasn’t been going too great. While I can’t really prove it, I think my baby face has been a huge negative. From what I understand the bulk of women date older men, and vice versa. So most girls who are 26 to 30 will see my profile pic, assume I’m young and won’t even bother. Then we have the younger girls. They might look at my picture, think I’m kind of cute… then see my age. “Ewww. 30!”
Yeah, I know I’m probably over thinking it. And no I don’t think my baby face is the only reason I’m having problems with online dating (I’m well aware of my other flaws). All I know is that if I were a 30 year old woman who looked like I was 22, my inbox would be flooded with messages.
So yeah, I guess I came here to ask how others (men specifically) have dealt with having a baby face. For women, if you were 30 would you date a guy who looked like he was 23? Or would that be too weird?
I don’t have a baby face, but I do look at least 10 years younger than my age. Both of my parents did as well. All I can say is: give it time; eventually you’ll appreciate it.
I, too, had (note the tense) a baby face through most of my 20’s & 30’s. Add that to a tenor voice and I think I seemed younger than my age.
It works in your favor for a lot of things but not in others.
I grew a goatee. A mustache alone looked thin (and therefore juvenile) but the goatee didn’t.
Later my hair fell out, that added some age. More recently I’m starting to develop some crinkles here and there and my temples are graying and I think I finally look my age.
As long as personality and everything else matched, I wouldn’t have a problem dating a guy who looked a little bit younger than me. I also wouldn’t look at a guys profile, see he’s 30 and think ‘ew’ (I’m 23). I wouldn’t discount someone who was 30 just because they were 30. Though I probably wouldn’t date someone more than 10 years older than me.
My brother-in-law has a ‘baby face’ as well. It’s been commented on before, but now that he’s almost 37 I think he appreciates looking younger.
To second what **Belrix **said, facial hair does help with that. I dated a guy who with a beard easily looked 5 years older. It also slimmed his face. And well, I have a thing for facial hair.
I have a baby face (routinely carded at the age of 30) and I love guys with baby faces. I like pudgy guys too so that might be part of the attraction…but really, I would never pass up a profile where a guy looks younger than his stated age.
I might have a baby face, I don’t know, I am often thought to be younger than I am by a few years so I guess so. No idea what effect it’s had on people’s perception of me though.
I’m not sure that it’s necessarily that women like to date older though. It may be that they think you’re positing a picture from 8 years ago and lying about what you look like now.
Wouldn’t describe myself as having a “baby face,” but I certainly don’t look my age(32). If I were clean-shaven I could totally go back to high school.
Have never had a problem with it, as long as I remember my ID when I go to the bar. Kind of amusing to get carded by bartenders I’m 8 years older than.
Dating has never been an issue. My GF is the same age and looks even younger than me.
Ok, just for the sake of clarity when I say ‘baby face’ all I mean is someone who looks younger than they are. Up until this point I had assumed this was what everyone thought. But after reading some responses and the Wikipedia article, I guess it actually means people who retain child like facial features into adulthood. So in that case I don’t have a ‘baby face’, I just look like a normal 23 year old.
Anyway, a lot of people have brought up facial hair. I wish I could grow facial hair. I mean hair grows out of my face. But it just gets all patchy & gross. When I let it grow out for more than a few days I start to look like Shaggy from Scooby Doo… :mad:
I’ve always looked young, and it can be annoying. However, at thirty you will begin to appreciate it once you manage to get by the no girlfriend thing. I suggest the following, that worked very well for me.
Get an impartial female friend, and a gay guy to review your wardrobe. If you don’t have those, then eliminate juvenile type clothing. If you don’t know how to determine this, take a look at some free catalogs or magazines. Notice what more mature, but young men are wearing and copy this. Good looking stuff doesn’t have to be expensive either.
Work with what you have. Despite my young features, I can grow a good beard,see here, and have had facial hair of differing permutations for a long time. This helps a lot, but be sure to avoid styles that look weedy, or juvenile like a closely shaved chinstrap or a weak mustache. If you can’t grow facial hair, cut your hair short, or find a style that has personality. Avoid any styles worn by teens, and for the love of og, don’t try the newscaster/ congresscritter look. If you need glasses, consider funky frames or small, thin, elegant ones.
Basic stuff here: Stand up straight, be confident, Stay in decent shape.
With online dating remember people are always looking for a nice “out.” I don’t mean to insult the OP but it’s hard to lie about more than 5 years of age. You may have a young looking face, but are clearly old. So the person is looking for an “out” not to date you and picks that 'cause it’s so obvious.
For example Rod Blagojevich, the former Governor of Illinois who was impeached, had a “boyish face.” But clearly he was old and no one is gonna think he is any younger than he is.
But really, having a “boyish” or “baby” face is a compliment, so this way they can reject you and you get rejected AND a compliment at the same time. See the beauty of the way it works
As for online dating, it’s a different world. Don’t let it get to you.
I totally would. But, though I’m 32, most people think I’m in my mid-20s at the oldest, so I wouldn’t look too much older than this hypothetical baby-faced thirty-year-old. See, maybe that’s what you need to look for - women your age who also look really young
I have always looked older than my years. Most likely because of the extra weight I carry. When I was 14, I was often guessed at 30. I’m not kidding. When I was 25, I had a guy call the cops on me, (long story) and he was asked to describe me to 911 and said, “She is African American, about 45, about 5 foot 6…”
My best friend is my age (35) and is often guessed at 20 or even younger. My sister in law is pushing 50 and gets guessed in her 20s. My sister turned 40 yesterday, and is often guessed in early 20s. I could probably do this all day.
Not to say I doubt your theory about the OP. Just assuring you that folks really can look many years off of their age.
If I had a rusty penny* for every time I’ve been told, “You’ll appreciate it in twenty years”, I’d be fabulously wealthy. Maybe I’ll like looking like a junior high student when I’m thirty or forty. As of now, I have self-esteem problems regarding my personal maturity, and having people ask me what grade I’m in doesn’t help. Not to mention phone callers (even my own grampa!) who think I’m my eleven-year-old brother.
*Yeah, I know, copper doesn’t rust. A counterfeit penny is worth even less than a real one.
My ex had a baby face, but I suppose I also tend to look younger than I am (both of us got carded reguarly).
It’s less about the face and more about how the guy looks, acts, dresses, carries himself, etc. I don’t mind dating someone who has a young face but I would mind if his wardrobe and his attitude were also stuck in high school/college.
I wouldn’t have trouble dating someone who looked younger than they are (though my husband might have something to say about it!) Someone who is 30 and looks 22 is alright with me. But in my mind, that’s not a baby face; that’s just someone who looks young. There is someone at my school who has what I consider to be a baby face (though he’s probably only 20 or so). Pudgy cheeks, round face, small nose, no facial hair, etc. He doesn’t just look young, he looks like an oversized actual baby, IMHO. I’d have more trouble dating someone who looked like him, but his overall body shape/stature/features don’t appeal to me at all. His friend, on the other hand…
My face has gotten younger looking as I’ve gotten older, I think. When I put on weight, a lot of it goes to my face. In high school, I experienced a growth spurt where I suddenly went from 60 lbs to 90 lbs. And then from that to my age now, I’ve added another 10 lbs. Even though I am still slim, my face is noticeably fuller. I think it’s usually the opposite for people as they get older, that they lose the baby fat in their face.
People usually think I’m 14-16. Um, yikes. Back when I was actually in that age range, people thought I was older.
