My car has a remote locking device; unlocking the car remotely makes the turn signal lights flash. One day, my son (who was three at the time) happened to point at the car just as I was unlocking it and he turned to me and said that he had unlocked it with his finger, I asked him how this might have worked and he said he had magic bone batteries in his fingers.
I played along with this for quite some time (months at least - I would wait until he pointed at the car, then press the button) because he seemed to enjoy the ‘magic’ and it was amusing to watch. When it eventually dawned on him that it wasn’t really his fingers opening the door, he found it immensely funny and now (at the age of five) occasionally reminisces fondly about how he used to think he had magic fingers.
Is it a bad thing that I spun the whole thing out for so long?
Bad? I doubt it, not in and of itself. It isn’t something I would have done. I might have made joke of it for a minute, but not much longer than that.
And an illusion isn’t neccesarily a lie–but an illusion that’s upheld by your not answering direct questions, or not being truthful about what’s actually going on, well, that’s the result of a lie. And I’ve said repeatedly that I don’t think it’s a “big lie” or a harmful one, just something that’s inconsistent with my desire to be sure my kids get accurate information about the world around them, and know they can trust me to tell them the truth about anything. Will they never trust me again if they “find out” about Santa Claus? I doubt it. Does it make sense for me to decieve them if I’ve consciously decided to tell them the truth? No, it doesn’t. So I don’t.
But see, where the general argument before was “But it’s not a lie!” now it’s veered towards “but you’re acting like it’s such a baaad thing! It’s just a little lie. How is it bad?” And most of the con side here isn’t saying it’s bad, or a big lie. We’re saying it’s a lie, period. And it’s not really for the benefit of the people who it’s supposedly all for–it’s for the enjoyment of the adults, and kids old enough to be in on the “secret.” And if you’re fine with that, and your family is fine with that, great. I’m not fine with it, for my family. Minor or not, it’s inconsistent with what I believe, generally.
I guess it all depends on where you draw the line; we all say things that aren’t strictly and absolutely true all the time - jokes, for example - there wasn’t really any such Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman, but daddy! you said there was! Oh I know it’s different. Everything is different.
I don’t believe it is primarily for the enjoyment of the adults - except in that adults enjoy seeing their children having fun.
Really, are there any adults out there laying on a shrink’s couch blubbering about how their parents lied to them about Santa Claus? Even if there are, I’d be willing to guess that’s not really the origin of that person’s hangups.
Sure my kids got gifts marked “From Santa”, but I want to be damn sure they know who busted their ass traversing the worlds toy stores to find that hard-to-find GI Joe Danger with the Kung-fu grip!
I want thenm to thank me , not some guy in a red suit.
I won’t give advice, since I have no kids and therefore am not an expert in the area. All I will do is say that I have fond and happy memories of Santa and Christmas. When I finally found out, it was explained to me that Santa really lives in all of us and I was co-opted into the Santa Underground Army. It is now my responsibility to pass on those good feelings. I still love it.
I work with kids so I have had many kids ask me around the holidays if Santa is real…point blank and I always reply yes even when they ask me as they have before if the tooth fairy is real I say yes.
Thats Your opinion.The resurrection isn’t a fantasy, it really happened.
About Santa, I always told my son he wasn’t real because I decided not to lie to him.
I don’t come out and tell him something bad if its too much truth if you know what I mean.
I’m sure he has his own fantasy fun anyway without Santa, whom many kids are afraid of for some reason.
Myself, I used to believe, and would put out cookies and milk For The Reindeer.
They deserved it, not that fat guy!
I’m going to lie to my son – I’m going to lie about drugs, about sex, about politics, and yes, about Santa Claus. He’ll find about about Santa Claus first, and he’ll figure out the rest in time. But Santa Claus will be his first hint that even the best-intentioned people will lie to you when it suits their purposes. By and large, he will know that I love him, that I want what’s best for him, and that I can supply good information. But he’ll have to think for himself.
I distinctly remember the day I figured out Santa wasn’t real (although I can’t remember how old I was). I felt extraordinarily betrayed (enough so that the memory stuck with me). However, I guess in the long run it was good; it helped me see that just because a lot of people believe something (and/or pretend to), that doesn’t make it so.
If you’re trying to raise a religious child, I think Santa’s a bad idea (or, well, I think the Santa myth will work against you, at least; I personally think that’s a good thing). I think I became an atheist very soon after I figured out Santa (I honestly can’t remember ever believing in God, but I think I must have if I was tricked by the Santa thing). If you’re trying to raise an atheist scientist, the Santa myth just might help…
