He dissed J-Lo, so I dumped him

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’ve been casually dating Stupid Guy for about six months. He’s sweet, not very bright but enjoys worshiping me when our schedules hook up, so it worked for us. Sometimes conversation would become awkward, he lives in the land of hyperbolic exaggeration and ignorance, but would readily agree with whatever logic I laid on his argument which made it tolerable.

Until last night.

I’d noticed previously that he’s got a bit of anti-celebrity jealousy going on, I once made a passing comment about a Ben Affleck movie and he ranted and raved about what a total tool the guy is for like ten minutes. Another time he went off similarly about Timberlake. I’m not real invested in either of these guys or their work, I just chalked it up to some demented ‘I coulda been a contenduh!’ guy thing and didn’t pursue it. Rather out of character for Stupid Guy, he’s more of the wouldn’t-hurt-a-fly, see the other guy’s side, progressive liberal type concerning everyone else, but if he wants to have issues with male bohunkish celebs getting their fifteen minutes, so be it.

We’re discussing Tommy Lee’s new reality show title “Mr.Lee goes to Uni” or something, and he said something disparaging about Pamela going back to the obscurity she deserved. I’m confused and silly me, asked him to explain. He then proceeded to go into rant mode about how Pamela has no talent or celeb status on her own, her fame and fortune is totally due to having hooked up with Tommy. Ummm, well there was Playboy and that beach show first, but yeah, alright, she is an artless bimbo so I couldn’t get to motivated to argue.

He continued by bashing Jennifer Lopez, who was a big fat nothing until she did P-Diddy apparently. Well, c’mon wait a second, she already had an established career, the Puffed one benefited more from that pairing than she did. No, I’m incorrect, she’s an untalented sleaze who’s total celebosity is based on choosing who to sleep with. Ok, her work might not be your cup of tea, but she was out there doing the bit movie part, choreography, demo-recording, sitcom auditioning thing for years, broke out with Selena and was an established artist on her own merit, it wasn’t hooking up with Puffy that made her famous.

Pam was a face in the crowd spotted at a football game, a scout saw her and got her the playboy gig, but Jennifer at least spent years on the craft man. Like either of them or don’t, but acknowledge the differences, y’know?

Nope, they’re professional star****ers, and that’s it.

It was the most irrational argument I’ve ever had. Very odd to argue a point I didn’t actually care much about but the venomous hatred with the misogynistic overtones was too icky not to rebut. The sheer passion he had for this topic was astounding, I IMDBed J-Lo just to show performance credits in her bio long before Puffy and naturally that too was utterly discounted.

The argument ended when we started getting a bit too heated, I said something like ‘I just can’t discuss this with you’ and he agreed and immediately was all sweet mushy talk to you tomorrow punkinhead and that squicked me out even more.

I can’t understand the vehement hatred, I can’t understand how easily he slipped into this Jerry Springer mode of arguing where in facts are meaningless and points are made by simply repeating the same stupidity louder and louder. It was just the craziest thing, and when I thought about it this morning I realized it totally altered the way I view him. So when he called to whisper sweet nothings to me at work, I brought it up and voiced how disturbing I found it, he immediately went into bashing J-Lo again so I dumped him. That’s just not rational stuff, and if he’s that deluded about this who knows how deluded he’ll be about that and I just don’t feel curious enough to stay around to find out.

I need a smiley that indicates a good nonplussed expression.

2

Trite, trivial, and totally immature. Ferrchrissakes, no wonder I can’t figure women out.

3

Remember in the Warner Bros cartoons about Ralph and his lucid daydreaming? In one of them, he’s had an episode in school, and his teacher gets this look on her face, and says, in clipped tones, “Um…yeah.”

Picture me doing that.

4

ya know, after seeing the title of the thread, I was all set to come in here on the dumpee’s side.

I don’t give a rat’s ass about J Lo, but the guy sounds like a tool. Anyone who gets so worked up about celebrities – either in awe of them or in such obvious hatred – should have their head examined.

I call this dumping justified.

5

Ah, the entire thing was trite and beyond trivial, you’re correct. It was so weirdly out of character for him to react with so much vitriol, it was just irrational and pretty much freaked me out.
Thanks Ravenman that’s exactly what I meant.

6

I had the same reaction as Ravenman.

First I wanted to denounce the OP for dumping someone for something as trivial as dissing J-Lo. After reading the OP I want to support Queen Tonya for dumping someone with such obvious problems with Women, especially talented women.

(Not that Lopez and Anderson would be my first choices for examples of talented women, but what’re you gonna do?)

7

I get where you’re coming from, but it’s just so hard for me to be against anyone who thinks J-Lo is a talentless ho. I agree with him on the Pam Anderson and Justin Timberlake things too, but have a soft spot for Ben Affleck…

Yeah, Stupid Guy has some serious facts wrong, but the essence of his argument - that Pam and Jen didn’t earn their fame through talent - isn’t far from the truth.

8

The end of stupid guy?

Wow.

Just – wow.

9

I agree, probably a good move to dump him. If he gets that worked up over J-Lo, what else is he going to flip his lid over? “Irrational rage” is, at the least, not a terribly endearing trait, and at worst, probably a warning sign of something or other.

Plus, I always applaud any increase in the number of single women in the world.

10

LMAO. thank god I can’t find a date.

11

Stupid Guy needed the dumping- I agree with the OP. A lot of women, if they’re smart, look for signs of how a man will be in the long-term. There are things that seem inconsequential and silly to dump someone over, but really they’re indications of bad times to come. I’ve dumped over less. You gotta listen to your instincts.

12

Darn, I’m sorry to hear that, Tonya. It sounds like y’all had a really healthy relationship going there. Sad to hear that romance has died.

13

Perhaps he’s one of that very small group of people who paid money to see Gigli when it came out?

14

This was a good dump. First, for being uncomfortable with the way the conversation/argument went. That’s the bottom line: if what he does makes you nervous, then you shouldn’t be dating him. I don’t hang with the “you’ll get used to it” or “it means nothing” arguments. If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right.

Second, it seems like he hasn’t mastered the art of backing off in an argument. I’m not a fan of J.Lo., but I can see she has some talent to make it this far. You showed him evidence that she did things before she met Puffy. At that point, he should have acted more conciliatory, even if it’s just a “let’s agree to disagree” and change the subject. Instead, he kept on ranting and didn’t want to give up any ground.

If he’s going to act like that about a subject so trivial as J.Lo., what’s going to happen when it comes to the big issues you do care about? Is he going to be willing to give in sometimes, or is it always going to be his way or the highway?

15

I thought I would clarify my earlier post, lest you think I was just coming in here just to be a smartass…that was not my intention! That reaction I was having was about your now-ex having such a strange reaction to such a trivial subject. With all the things he could have picked to get upset about, he chose Jennifer Lopez??? That shows a degree of “out-there-ness” that anybody would be wise to steer clear of. I’m sorry it got ugly for you, but in this case, you don’t seem to be missing much.

16

I’d say a justified dump.

Boy, that came out wrong.

No, wait, I just mean it must feel good to be rid of -

oh, forget it.

17

D’oh! Maybe that was it, I never considered that possiblilty. :smiley:

18

Guy weighing in here. The way you describe it, yes, I completely understand. If he’s got issues about believing women are nothing more than attachments to/on/of men and are nothing more than a reflection of the success of the man, you’re better off without him. He seems to feel intense disgust toward women who (in his opinion) take their success and identity from their partner. It suggests to me a depth of feeling about Womankind in general that you don’t deserve.

On the other hand, I think even he deserves to hear it explained in this way in the breakup. I don’t personally have much of an opinion about Pamela (except that she was much prettier before her surgeries) or J-Lo (except I’m sick of the tabloid headlines, which isn’t her fault) but I’d hate for a woman to read more into my opinion of them than I had meant.

By all means, dump his sorry butt, but do him the courtesy of telling him why his behavior upset you/creeped you out/alarms you/whatever.

19

Don’t care much about the OP but interestingly enough Justin Timberlake recently performed in Australia. Uniquely I read two reviews that said he was so good that the audience began to walk out on him. Apparently he attracted a largely teeny-bopper audience but he and his band turned in a really clever and sophisticated performance that they didn’t get. Both reviews noted the brilliant musicianship of the band and the subtlety of Timberlake’s performance…so fuck him Tonya. No one disses Justin from the block.

20

I agree Fish he totally has a right to understand what the real deal is. I tried explaining it calmly, he was amazed I cared that much about Jennifer or Pamela or Justin. I explained that I don’t care about any of them particularly, but that his irrational arguments were distressing. He immediately went back to loudly stating what cruddy non-artists they are. :rolleyes:

I tried once more to make him understand, then just wished him well. So the guy’s got some celebrity issues, it’s not the biggest deal in the world but hanging on to a really dumb argument so vehemently is.

My very favorite line, after I explained how misogynistic it sounded when he accused J-Lo again of being famous for who she sleeps with “I can’t be a chauvanist, I was raised by a single mother!”

:wally