Well, this one deflated pretty quick...

For the past two weeks or so I’ve been seeing a girl, let’s call her, um… Andrea. I met her online and decided to start talking to her beyond normal Internet chat because I found out she’d be working three doors from where I live this summer.

We have a ton of things in common. We both love Star Wars and Monty Python. She’s incredibly smart. Has great taste in music. The only substantial difference, and it’s a small one, is that she’s 19 and in college, I’m 23 and in a real-world job.

So we decide to meet, which evolved into a date. It went really well. A week later she comes over my place and we somehow end up having sex. I say “somehow” because we were messing around in our nekkidness and all of a sudden… tab A found its way into slot B, with no trying on my part. We didn’t plan it, but just sort of ran with it.

Then last night, I stayed over at her place. And suddenly, everything she did was getting on my nerves. Her voice, her mannerisms, her lame jokes, her voice, her constant never-ceasing attempts to punch me in the stomach or tickle me (what is this? 3rd grade?), and her voice (yeah, it’s really, really annoying). She tries to be cute but only comes across as cloying. When we retired to the bedroom, there was no physical chemistry at all. I don’t know about her, but I was just going through the motions of the whole thing. When I got up in the morning I had to leave quick and get to work, but she tried to keep my backpack away from me, which I didn’t find cute or funny at the time. By time I kissed her goodbye, it felt like I was kissing my sister.

I guess it was good for me to at least try dating a girl. After all, I had spent nearly all of 2001 and some of 2002 hung up on one girl (readers of my past threads will no doubt know about that). But now I find myself wanting to break up with this girl. Am I judging too quickly? Also, if I decide this needs to be done, should I do it now over the phone, or wait a week till she comes back from Boston and do it face-to-face? I know she’s WAY more attached to me than I am to her (heck, I’m practically glad she won’t be in town for a week), so I don’t want to devestate her, but I also don’t want to prolong this anymore than needed. Blech.

Maybe it was the pent up tadpoles that were obscuring your vision of what this individual was really like. Maybe you could wait a couple o’ weeks, see if the taddies convince you that they were right and then make a choice.

I can’t tell from you OP how long it was between release of taddies annd ‘last night’.

Face to face is the manly (or womanly, for that matter) way to break up. And don’t get weaselly and try to do it in public so she’ll be less likely to cry or yell, either.

If it’s not working for you, it’s not, plain and simple. The kindest and most honorable thing you can do now is to break it off quickly and cleanly. If you don’t want to stay friends, don’t tell her you want to stay friends. If you won’t really be moving to the Congo, don’t tell her that’s why you’re breaking up. If you don’t have a terminal illness for which you plan to seek medical care in Switzerland…well, you get the idea. Try to stick to “I messages” (“I feel,” “I think,” I want") rather than telling her what’s wrong with her, and don’t give her the impression that she can change your mind by changing herself.

Then go have a stiff drink with a friend who can reassure you that you really are still a good person, that you really will find the right woman one day, and that you did the right thing. Because I’m sure that’s all true, and you’ll need to hear it just then. Good luck.

Somehow, I don’t seem to think that breaking up in public would be a good idea, though. Just a thought.

Umm… If you were messing around in the buff, I’m not so sure it was an accident. You’d have been pretty pissed if it didn’t happen. Trust me. It happened to me once. Grrr…

Decisions like this should not be made with the tadpoles present. Vigorous and regular masturbation has its benefits. :wink:

Yeah, you pretty much need to be up-front with her. I had a similar experience once. I fell for one of my friends. We had one incredible night together, then afterwards whatever had been there for that night totally disappeared. So, after a few days of torture, we were laying in bed and I said “You know, I’m having more fun just laying here with you than when we have sex.” She wholeheartedly agreed, and we had a good laugh and are still friends.

Hope things go as well for you.

Yeah, but here’s the funny thing: My taddies stayed put that night.

She’s just not very good in bed, basically. I was able to make her enjoy things plenty, but I didn’t get much out of it. I mean, honestly folks, how often does that happen? Given that the sex was great in my last relationship, trying to teach someone even basic skills doesn’t sound too fun to me now. Just another item on the laundry list, though.

I’ll be up-front about the break-up no matter what. I’d rather do it face-to-face, but that requires me to feign interest over the phone and online for a week. And I really dont’ like lying to people. I guess we’ll see.

"Given that the sex was great in my last relationship, trying to teach someone even basic skills doesn’t sound too fun to me now. Just another item on the laundry list, though. "

Dude!!! That is your chance for immortality!!! Who doesn’t remember the one who taught them something that drove them wild? When she is 80ish, maybe if you were good enough she will tell her grandkids about it.

I fear for those grandkids.