He Hate Me So Bad FF keeper league

Cool statistics. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the average points against quantified before. That’s quite a bit of variation there, I’d be interested to see what the end of season numbers look like. Also, this makes me think my execrably bad team is even worse, since I’ve had the 4th easiest schedule so far.

It’s got to be driving people crazy that I am tied for first place, yet only 3 people have less total points than me. Yes. I have had a stretch of luck I might say.

Hey Ellis, don’t know if I’ll be checking in on the fantasy playoffs with holiday travel and a job search going on, but just wanted to say thanks for another well run season! And I hope to see everyone back again next summer (a new beginning which I am looking forward to… yeesh was my team bad this year.)

Congratualtions to NurseCarmen, our 2007 He Hate Me Keeper League champion! Congratulations are also due to furt, who loses in the championship game for the second consecutive year.

I’d also like to express my sympathy for me, VarlosZ, who finished the regular season #1 in points scored but #8 in the standings. For the second straight year I’ll be picking 1st overall in the draft. Tomlinson or Purple Jesus? Tough choice. Very tough.
2008 Draft Order:

  1. Varlos’ Zzzzzzz
  2. MunchsUrbanAchievers (Munch)
  3. New York Fanboys (Ellis Dee)
  4. Baltimore Wierdos (Wierddave)
  5. Rhinosaurs (neuroman)
  6. CedricBensonBusts (BabaBooey)
  7. Fourth and Nineteen (Wilson)
  8. Moridwon (Hamlet)
  9. Curtis Salaam Benson (Omniscient)
  10. Trade Down For Kolb (Jimmy Chitwood)
  11. Crabby Hermits (The Mad Hermit)
  12. Solomon Mundi (Spiritus Mundi)
  13. Fightin’ Quakers (furt)
  14. CarMenace (NurseCarmen)

I had a crappy draft, but excellent timing.

If we relied on scoring only, I wasn’t in first place. In fact, I was in 9th place.

Varlos’ Zzzzzzz 1519.71
Solomon Mundi 1469.24
Crabby Hermits 1445.90
Fightin’ Quakers 1403.43
New York Fanboys 1341.69
MunchsUrbanAchievers 1333.19
Trade Down for Kolb 1292.45
Fourth and Nineteen 1269.86
**CarMenace 1220.90 **
Baltimore Weirdos 1201.44
Curtis Salaam Benson 1155.54
CedricBensonBusts 1144.35
Moridwon (Hamlet) 1122.44
Rhinosaurs(neuroman) 887.83

On top of that, if you happened to have a winning record, the chances are that you would have a bad game against me. Varlos was the only one with a winning record to beat me. But if you had a losing record, my chances went down hill dramatically. I lost to the 9th, 12th and 13th place teams.

Neither of my QBs were in the top twenty for scoring among QBs. My top running back was 28th in scoring for RBs.

I really hope Wilson doesn’t want to work soon, because I’m sure there are a ton of stats that would point to my team sucking, and it would be cool to see them.

On the flip side, this had to be my year. I don’t have shit for keepers.

That said. It was another fun year. I’m already rubbing Buddha’s belly in preparation for next year.

He Hate Me Keeper League Year 5 Roundup

Schedule
Signup Deadline: Thursday 7/31/08
Offseason Trade Deadline: Tuesday 8/19/08
Keeper Declaration: Tuesday 8/26/08
Live Draft: Monday 9/1/08 (Labor Day) at 10:30pm ET

Keeper Rules

  1. You can only keep a maximum of 3 players.
  2. You can only keep players drafted after the third round. (Fourth rounders or later only.)
  3. A player can only be kept a maximum of twice. (Making 3 total roster years.)
  4. A kept player incures a two round penalty. (e.g: drafted in the 6th, kept in the 4th.)

Hall of Fame
Year 1 winner: mouthbreather
Year 2 winner: Spiritus Mundi
Year 3 winner: Spiritus Mundi
Year 4 winner: The Mad Hermit
Year 5 winner: Nurse Carmen

Final Standings: Year 5

  1. CarMenace
  2. Fightin’ Quakers
  3. Solomon Mundi
  4. Crabby Hermits
  5. Varlos’ Zzzzzzz
  6. MunchsUrbanAchievers
  7. New York Fanboys
  8. Baltimore Weirdos
  9. Trade Down for Kolb
  10. Curtis Salaam Benson
  11. Moridwon (Hamlet)
  12. Fourth and Nineteen
  13. CedricBensonBusts
  14. Rhinosaurs(neuroman)

Draft Order, Year 5

  1. VarlosZ
  2. Munch
  3. Ellis Dee
  4. Weirddave
  5. neuroman
  6. BabaBooey
  7. Wilson
  8. Hamlet
  9. Omniscient
  10. Jimmy Chitwood
  11. The Mad Hermit
  12. Spiritus Mundi
  13. furt
  14. Nurse Carmen

Final Rosters
The final rosters include all relevant keeper info. The draft round listed is the round the player was drafted last year; if you want to keep them next year, subtract two rounds. Ineligible keepers are struck out, along with the reason they were disqualified. Exceptional prospects are bolded.

  1. Varlos’ Zzzzzzz (VarlosZ)
    QB…David Garrard (QB-Jac) 8th round pick
    [del]WR…Larry Fitzgerald (Ari-WR)[/del] 3rd rounder
    WR…Deion Branch (WR-Sea) 5th round pick
    [del]RB…LaDainian Tomlinson (RB-SD)[/del] 1st rounder
    [del]RB…Jamal Lewis (RB-Cle)[/del] 2nd rounder
    TE…Dallas Clark (TE-Ind) 11th round pick
    W/R…Leon Washington (RB-NYJ) 7th round pick
    [del]BN…Nate Burleson (WR-Sea)[/del] free agent
    BN…Jason Witten (TE-Dal) 6th round pick
    BN…Ted Ginn Jr. (WR-Mia) 15th round pick
    BN…Kevin Kolb (QB-Phi) 16th round pick
    [del]BN…Joey Harrington (QB-Atl)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…J.P. Losman (QB-Buf)[/del] free agent
    [del]K…Shayne Graham (K-Cin)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Stephen Gostkowski (K-NE)[/del] free agent
    DEF…Green Bay (DEF-GB) 14th round pick

  2. MunchsUrbanAchievers (Munch)
    QB…Matt Hasselbeck (QB-Sea) 4th round pick
    [del]WR…Chad Johnson (WR-Cin)[/del] 2nd rounder
    WR…Joey Galloway (WR-TB) 8th round pick
    [del]RB…Brian Westbrook (RB-Phi)[/del] 1st rounder
    [del]RB…DeAngelo Williams (RB-Car)[/del] 3rd rounder
    [del]TE…Alex Smith (TE-TB)[/del] free agent
    W/R…Jerricho Cotchery (WR-NYJ) 7th round pick
    [del]BN…Darius Walker (RB-Hou)[/del] free agent
    BN…Jerious Norwood (RB-Atl) 5th round pick - kept last year
    BN…James Jones (WR-GB) 11th round pick
    [del]BN…Visanthe Shiancoe (TE-Min)[/del] free agent
    BN…Alex Smith (QB-SF) 14th round pick - kept last year
    BN…Tony Hunt (RB-Phi) 12th round pick
    K…Matt Stover (K-Bal) 16th round pick
    [del]DEF…Tampa Bay (DEF-TB)[/del] free agent
    BN…Carolina (DEF-Car) 15th round pick

  3. New York Fanboys (Ellis Dee)
    [del]QB…Jeff Garcia (QB-TB)[/del] free agent
    WR…Plaxico Burress (WR-NYG) 4th round pick
    WR…Greg Jennings (WR-GB) 9th round pick
    [del]RB…Kolby Smith (RB-KC)[/del] free agent
    [del]RB…Adrian Peterson (RB-Min)[/del] 2nd rounder
    TE…Kellen Winslow (TE-Cle) 6th round pick
    [del]W/R…Devery Henderson (WR-NO)[/del] free agent
    BN…Laveranues Coles (WR-NYJ) 5th round pick
    [del]BN…Luke McCown (QB-TB)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…A.J. Feeley (QB-Phi)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Ahman Green (RB-Hou)[/del] 3rd rounder
    [del]BN…Larry Johnson (RB-KC)[/del] 1st rounder
    BN…Brodie Croyle (QB-KC) 15th round pick
    [del]K…Rob Bironas (K-Ten)[/del] free agent
    DEF…San Diego (DEF-SD) 8th round pick
    [del]BN…New York (DEF-NYG)[/del] free agent

  4. Baltimore Weirdos (Weirddave)
    [del]QB…Carson Palmer (QB-Cin)[/del] 2nd rounder
    WR…Calvin Johnson (WR-Det) 5th round pick
    WR…Santonio Holmes (WR-Pit) 9th round pick - kept last year
    [del]RB…Joseph Addai (RB-Ind)[/del] 1st rounder
    RB…Ron Dayne (RB-Hou) 10th round pick
    [del]TE…Donald Lee (TE-GB)[/del] free agent
    [del]W/R…Marques Colston (WR-NO)[/del] 3rd rounder
    [del]BN…Andre Davis (WR-Hou)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Joe Jurevicius (WR-Cle)[/del] free agent
    BN…Brandon Jackson (RB-GB) 4th round pick
    BN…Alge Crumpler (TE-Atl) 7th round pick
    [del]BN…Musa Smith (RB-Bal)[/del] free agent
    BN…Brandon Jones (WR-Ten) 13th round pick
    [del]BN…Derrick Ward (RB-NYG)[/del] free agent
    [del]K…Josh Brown (K-Sea)[/del] free agent
    DEF…Jacksonville (DEF-Jac) 11th round pick

  5. Rhinosaurs(neuroman)
    QB…Vince Young (QB-Ten) 9th round pick - kept last year
    [del]WR…Bobby Engram (WR-Sea)[/del] free agent
    [del]WR…Amani Toomer (WR-NYG)[/del] free agent
    [del]RB…Shaun Alexander (RB-Sea)[/del] 1st rounder
    [del]RB…Fred Jackson (RB-Buf)[/del] free agent
    TE…Chris Cooley (TE-Was) 6th round pick
    W/R…Sidney Rice (WR-Min) 16th round pick
    BN…Donte’ Stallworth (WR-NE) 7th round pick
    BN…Ladell Betts (RB-Was) 5th round pick
    BN…Jason Campbell (QB-Was) 8th round pick
    [del]BN…Roydell Williams (WR-Ten)[/del] free agent
    BN…JaMarcus Russell (QB-Oak) 13th round pick
    BN…Brady Quinn (QB-Cle) 14th round pick
    [del]K…Neil Rackers (K-Ari)[/del] free agent
    [del]DEF…Cincinnati (DEF-Cin)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Tennessee (DEF-Ten)[/del] free agent

  6. CedricBensonBusts (BabaBooey)
    QB…Brett Favre (QB-GB) 7th round pick
    WR…Reggie Brown (WR-Phi) 5th round pick
    WR…Jerry Porter (WR-Oak) 9th round pick
    [del]RB…Rudi Johnson (RB-Cin)[/del] 1st rounder
    [del]RB…Marshawn Lynch (RB-Buf)[/del] 2nd rounder
    TE…Randy McMichael (TE-StL) 13th round pick
    W/R…Brandon Jacobs (RB-NYG) 4th round pick - kept last year
    BN…Pierre Thomas (RB-NO) 16th round pick
    [del]BN…Cedric Benson (RB-Chi)[/del] 3rd rounder
    [del]BN…Derek Anderson (QB-Cle)[/del] free agent
    BN…Vincent Jackson (WR-SD) 6th round pick
    BN…Chad Pennington (QB-NYJ) 8th round pick
    BN…Michael Bush (RB-Oak) 11th round pick
    [del]K…John Kasay (K-Car)[/del] free agent
    DEF…Seattle (DEF-Sea) 12th round pick
    [del]BN…Chicago (DEF-Chi)[/del] expired

  7. Fourth and Nineteen (Wilson)
    [del]QB…Philip Rivers (QB-SD)[/del] expired
    [del]WR…Torry Holt (WR-StL)[/del] 2nd rounder
    WR…Andre Johnson (WR-Hou) 4th round pick
    [del]RB…Marion Barber (RB-Dal)[/del] 3rd rounder
    [del]RB…Reggie Bush (RB-NO)[/del] 1st rounder
    TE…Owen Daniels (TE-Hou) 16th round pick
    [del]W/R…Edgerrin James (RB-Ari)[/del] 2nd rounder
    [del]BN…Maurice Morris (RB-Sea)[/del] free agent
    BN…Derrick Mason (WR-Bal) 10th round pick
    BN…Todd Heap (TE-Bal) 5th round pick
    BN…Chris Chambers (WR-SD) 6th round pick
    [del]BN…Kenny Watson (RB-Cin)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Patrick Crayton (WR-Dal)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Kyle Boller (QB-Bal)[/del] free agent
    K…Adam Vinatieri (K-Ind) 8th round pick
    DEF…New England (DEF-NE) 7th round pick

  8. Moridwon (Hamlet)
    QB…Jon Kitna (QB-Det) 8th round pick - kept last year
    [del]WR…Roddy White (WR-Atl)[/del] free agent
    [del]WR…Steve Smith (WR-Car)[/del] 2nd rounder
    RB…Maurice Jones-Drew (RB-Jac) 6th round pick - kept last year
    RB…Chester Taylor (RB-Min) 5th round pick
    TE…Benjamin Watson (TE-NE) 9th round pick
    W/R…Fred Taylor (RB-Jac) 4th round pick
    BN…Chris Henry (WR-Cin) 13th round pick
    [del]BN…Kurt Warner (QB-Ari)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Marc Bulger (QB-StL)[/del] 3rd rounder
    [del]BN…Marvin Harrison (WR-Ind)[/del] 1st rounder
    [del]BN…Tony Scheffler (TE-Den)[/del] free agent
    BN…Brian Leonard (RB-StL) 12th round pick
    BN…Michael Turner (RB-SD) 11th round pick - kept last year
    K…David Akers (K-Phi) 15th round pick
    DEF…Baltimore (DEF-Bal) 7th round pick

  9. Curtis Salaam Benson (Omniscient)
    QB…Ben Roethlisberger (QB-Pit) 6th round pick
    WR…Anquan Boldin (WR-Ari) 4th round pick
    WR…Bernard Berrian (WR-Chi) 7th round pick
    [del]RB…Willis McGahee (RB-Bal)[/del] 1st rounder
    [del]RB…Ryan Grant (RB-GB)[/del] free agent
    [del]TE…Chris Baker (TE-NYJ)[/del] free agent
    W/R…Adrian Peterson (RB-Chi) 8th round pick
    [del]BN…Kevin Curtis (WR-Phi)[/del] expired
    [del]BN…Thomas Jones (RB-NYJ)[/del] 2nd rounder
    BN…Chris Brown (RB-Ten) 5th round pick
    BN…Matt Schaub (QB-Hou) 9th round pick
    BN…Muhsin Muhammad (WR-Chi) 11th round pick
    BN…Michael Bennett (RB-TB) 12th round pick
    [del]BN…Arnaz Battle (WR-SF)[/del] free agent
    [del]K…Jeff Reed (K-Pit)[/del] free agent
    [del]DEF…Kansas City (DEF-KC)[/del] free agent

  10. Trade Down for Kolb (Jimmy Chitwood)
    QB…Drew Brees (QB-NO) 5th round pick - kept last year
    [del]WR…Reggie Wayne (WR-Ind)[/del] 2nd rounder
    WR…Dwayne Bowe (WR-KC) 15th round pick
    [del]RB…Steven Jackson (RB-StL)[/del] 1st rounder
    [del]RB…Earnest Graham (RB-TB)[/del] free agent
    [del]TE…L.J. Smith (TE-Phi)[/del] free agent
    [del]W/R…Justin Fargas (RB-Oak)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Selvin Young (RB-Den)[/del] free agent
    BN…LaMont Jordan (RB-Oak) 4th round pick
    BN…Santana Moss (WR-Was) 6th round pick
    BN…Ronald Curry (WR-Oak) 10th round pick
    BN…Jay Cutler (QB-Den) 9th round pick - kept last year
    BN…Anthony Gonzalez (WR-Ind) 8th round pick
    [del]K…Nate Kaeding (K-SD)[/del] free agent
    DEF…Dallas (DEF-Dal) 11th round pick
    [del]BN…Buffalo (DEF-Buf)[/del] free agent

  11. Crabby Hermits (The Mad Hermit)
    QB…Tony Romo (QB-Dal) 6th round pick
    [del]WR…T.J. Houshmandzadeh (WR-Cin)[/del] 2nd rounder
    [del]WR…Terrell Owens (WR-Dal)[/del] 1st rounder
    [del]RB…Willie Parker (RB-Pit)[/del] expired
    RB…Julius Jones (RB-Dal) 4th round pick
    TE…Tony Gonzalez (TE-KC) 5th round pick
    W/R…Devin Hester (WR-Chi) 13th round pick
    BN…Antwaan Randle El (WR-Was) 9th round pick - kept last year
    [del]BN…Donovan McNabb (QB-Phi)[/del] 3rd rounder
    BN…Najeh Davenport (RB-Pit) 16th round pick
    BN…Correll Buckhalter (RB-Phi) 14th round pick
    BN…Sammy Morris (RB-NE) 12th round pick
    BN…Drew Carter (WR-Car) 15th round pick
    K…Robbie Gould (K-Chi) 11th round pick
    [del]BN…Jason Elam (K-Den)[/del] free agent
    DEF…Pittsburgh (DEF-Pit) 8th round pick

  12. Solomon Mundi (Spiritus Mundi)
    [del]QB…Peyton Manning (QB-Ind)[/del] 1st rounder
    WR…Braylon Edwards (WR-Cle) 7th round pick - kept last year
    WR…Wes Welker (WR-NE) 12th round pick
    [del]RB…Clinton Portis (RB-Was)[/del] 2nd rounder
    RB…Kevin Jones (RB-Det) 6th round pick
    [del]TE…Antonio Gates (TE-SD)[/del] 3rd rounder
    W/R…Lee Evans (WR-Buf) 4th round pick
    BN…DeShaun Foster (RB-Car) 4th round pick
    [del]BN…Kevin Walter (WR-Hou)[/del] free agent
    BN…Greg Olsen (TE-Chi) 15th round pick
    BN…Darrell Jackson (WR-SF) 5th round pick
    BN…Dominic Rhodes (RB-Oak) 9th round pick
    [del]BN…Rex Grossman (QB-Chi)[/del] free agent
    [del]K…Nick Folk (K-Dal)[/del] free agent
    [del]DEF…Indianapolis (DEF-Ind)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Detroit (DEF-Det)[/del] free agent

  13. Fightin’ Quakers (furt)
    [del]QB…Tom Brady (QB-NE)[/del] 3rd rounder
    WR…Donald Driver (WR-GB) 4th round pick
    WR…Brandon Marshall (WR-Den) 11th round pick
    [del]RB…Frank Gore (RB-SF)[/del] expired
    RB…LenDale White (RB-Ten) 5th round pick
    TE…Vernon Davis (TE-SF) 8th round pick - kept last year
    [del]W/R…Aaron Stecker (RB-NO)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Mike Furrey (WR-Det)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Jesse Chatman (RB-Mia)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Javon Walker (WR-Den)[/del] 3rd rounder
    BN…Kenton Keith (RB-Ind) 14th round pick
    BN…Kellen Clemens (QB-NYJ) 13th round pick
    [del]K…Mason Crosby (K-GB)[/del] free agent
    [del]DEF…Arizona (DEF-Ari)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…New Orleans (DEF-NO)[/del] free agent
    [del]BN…Denver (DEF-Den)[/del] free agent

  14. CarMenace (Nurse Carmen)
    [del]QB…Tarvaris Jackson (QB-Min)[/del] free agent
    WR…Hines Ward (WR-Pit) 4th round pick
    [del]WR…Randy Moss (WR-NE)[/del] 3rd rounder
    [del]RB…Laurence Maroney (RB-NE)[/del] 2nd rounder
    RB…Reuben Droughns (RB-NYG) 9th round pick
    TE…Heath Miller (TE-Pit) 7th round pick
    [del]W/R…Reggie Williams (WR-Jac)[/del] free agent
    BN…Warrick Dunn (RB-Atl) 5th round pick
    BN…Eli Manning (QB-NYG) 6th round pick
    [del]BN…Travis Henry (RB-Den)[/del] 1st rounder
    [del]BN…Shaun McDonald (WR-Det)[/del] free agent
    BN…Lance Moore (WR-NO) 13th round pick
    BN…Zach Miller (TE-Oak) 15th round pick
    [del]BN…Steve Smith (WR-NYG)[/del] free agent
    [del]K…Jason Hanson (K-Det)[/del] free agent
    DEF…Minnesota (DEF-Min) 12th round pick