Well, I’m confused.
Should we still feel sorry for the imposter Kel for being cheated on?
And will his imposter girlfriend get hit with a fake comet?
.and how do we know that the OP was phony? Maybe the phony Kel actually posted the request to lock the thread?
Man, I miss one day of logging onto the Dope - *one fucking day!! * - and I have to come in on the tail end of a Kel Fucking Douchebag Varnishhead classic.
That does it: I’m never turning my damn computer off again.
Oh, and astro…
I laughed so hard at that, I coughed something up.
And how many of his other threads have been phonies? What with today’s modern advances in the area of cookies, I doubt that the computer would need to be left on the SDMB (or on at all) for the perpatrator to be able to come back and pose as Kel.
Maybe it’s the nefarious Karl that’s been behind the crazy batshit threads all along. Kel, check your thread subscriptions! Some guy named Karl has been starting threads about killing, hitting and fucking children…all in your name! You should stop this guy before you get a bad reputation around here.
My guess is that Kel lives alone. Karl is the imaginary monster that lives under the bed.
Maybe eating the dog was the homework! Or maybe a comet flew by Kel’s house and the space dust jimmied his computer. Look for updates in the Weekly World News.
Damn…a huge conspiracy among the homeless and plumbers would have been a whole lot more fun than a coding error.
…
Unless the Homeless/Plumbers Alliance of Eeeeevul (hereafter referred to as HoPAloE) CAUSED your mistake. >> <<
I couldn’t decide between:
I eating your dog!
and
I, for one, welcome our new disenfranchised crack-showing overlords.
So I went with both.
You guys ain’t mad, are you?
I used to say “Kel” and “me”
Now it’s “us”, now it’s “we”
I used to say “Karl” and “me”
Now it’s “us”, now it’s “we”
Kal, most people would turn you away
I don’t listen to a word they say
They don’t see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I’m sure they’d think again
If they had a friend like Kal
(a friend) Like Kel
(like Kel) Like Karl
…Blaaah. hugs Kel anyways, exits thread
Does that mean tomorrow someone will gain access to your computer and post that your boyfriend is complaining on the internet about you screwing his cousin?
Ohhh or that the boyfriend of the woman you are screwing is complaining on the internet about you screwing his girlfriend?
Best.Advice.Ever.
Plus it made me bust a gut laughing.
This is the stupidest excuse yet in your abysmal posting history, Kel. You didn’t figure out that tossing a stink bomb then running wouldn’t work out after your last Pit fiasco?
You know, your persistent stupidity provides some faint value in representing the other side, i.e. galloping ignorance, but you don’t seem to be educable. Last chance, Kel. Put one foot wrong and you’re gone.
TVeblen
Pit mod
I don’t think you’re being fair, TVeblen. I’m sure Kel’s made-up excuse for why someone else started this thread using his computer is much stupider than the made-up excuse for the thread itself. Plus, it’s boring and complicated. Just like Kel.
I’m dissapointed at you dopers, the OP was obviously a fake. Someone like Kel couldn’t possibly have ever had a girlfriend.
Ya know, Bippy, there a lot of stupid women in the world. Some of them date people just like Kel.
I’m more amazed that Kel claims to be 27. Just seems wrong somehow.
As someone who was going to respond to the OP before it was shown to be a hoax, I feel almost… trolled. Of course, any trolling that went on would be the responsibility of Kel’s father/brother/sister/friend, or whoever posted.
But I, for one, after having my time wasted by someone fishing for a response, would like the story. Come now, it shouldn’t be that hard.
“My brother and I have some personal shit going down, and he decided to fuck with me.”
“My friend is a real asshole and thought this would be a good joke.”
“My dog has evolved super intelligence and attempted to impress me via posting.”
Is that a tonsil on your keyboard? Or an uvula?
Have you given no thought to the idea that maybe Kel’s Mom doesn’t like him? Who else could imitate his style so well and know about the cousin’s drug problems? There was no denial about that in the retraction.
I am curious as to who made up the storey, partly because it would be interesting to see if it is a friend, family member or coworker. So Kel, where’s you leave your computer?
Now that your first term is over, how are your grades, Kel?
Given his views on incest, I should have added “all twelve of them”.
Try one of those scrawny marathon runners. If you can run 7 minute miles or better for 3 hours, you can keep it up for at least one.
Of course, you have to start early in the evening, 'cause we get up so damn early to run.