I’ve got a cornet. While a sousaphone would be much more comedic, the cornet would be a much more effective weapon. I could get in quite a few shots before the sousaphone was swung even close.
Of course, the comet would crush them both.
Unless of course he meant comet brand cleanser, which would make a lousy weapon.
I’m sorry we’ve disappointed you Harborwolf, but you might consider staying out of the Pit. There’s a number of people who would get this reaction.
I’m sorry to hear about your girlfriend, Kel. I know the pain she must be in to do things like this. I once dumped a nice man for a 19 year old boy. I can’t tell you how great 19 year olds are in bed. Firm for hours. If you could bottle that up and give it to the over-25 guys, there’d be a lot more happy women in the world. College boys are really the way to go. <sigh> Of course, I never dated a drug user, so maybe it’s different for your ex.
Bwaaaaaahaaaaaahaaaa! Hysterical!
Oh, and uh gee, that sucks Kel. And apparently, so does your ex-girlfriend.
:: snork! ::
Now I have a mental image of my grandmother as a frustrated commando
Didn’t you ever see Mommie Dearest?
Great. Now I have a mental image of my grandmother going commando. :eek:
I’m going to need some of that Comet cleanser to scrub my brain. Thankfully I have a closet full of the stuff.
Please lock/delete this thread. Nothing in it true. I didn’t post it. I left my computer on with Straight Dope page open and someone thought it would be funny to post this. My cousin is not having an affair with my girlfriend.
There is a story about why the person made up this story, but it boring and complicated so I won’t get into it.
I will keep my computer locked from now on.
Do you believe him? Is he a liar? Or is he one scarey fuck with designs on his cousin’s girlfriend and daughter?
The world may never know.
You do realize that with this declaration, you won’t be able to use this excuse for any future incidents?
Maybe the dog really did eat his homework
Riiiiight.
Funny how the prankster not only nailed your posting style, complete with the kind of disclaimer one might include if they’d been burned here a couple of times (why would someone playing a joke on you know to do that?) but also told an elaborate story that painted you as an honestly pitiable victim, instead of an idiot, like “LOL im kel varnsen look at mee im stooopid ahr har har OMG u all suxxors.” And, he only posted once, instead of flooding the forums and getting you banned.
No, there’s a story behind it all right. It just hasn’t been made up yet. We’ll give you a couple days, I’m sure.
So, uh… she into the group thing?
Make lemonade, I always say.
And TD, I didn’t go near that homework.
Maybe we can make this a guessing game.
Was it:
l. Homeless girl?
One of the posters in your previous How can I lock my computer? threads?
All of the riders on the Orient Express.
My choice is #4.
The dog probably is his homework.
Yeah, my first thought after reading the OP is that Kel undoubtedly has a very small penis.
Why don’t you just staple your fingers together?
These both point to the same thread… So the plumbers are in league with the homeless?
Damn, I knew I should have picked door number three.
Damn! I knew God was gonna get me for replying to this thread. :eek:
I think I violated a subchapter of Gaudere’s Law.
(I fixed my link in my original post).
Maybe the ghost-poster WAS his girlfriend, and this was her “Dear Kel” letter.
Of course, that **Kel ** has a girlfriend is a pretty big presupposition to begin with.
Oh, and I didn’t eat any homework either.