It was 4:15 this morning. I was curled up on my right side, well on my side of the king-size bed I share with my spouse of 18 years. All of a sudden, I feel the impact of his foot on my butt!! :eek: Talk about your rude awakening!!!
No, it’s not spouse abuse. I don’t think he’s harboring some deep-seated resentment… after all, it’s ME here! But, dang, what a shocker! Needless to say, I didn’t fall back to sleep… <yawn>
I know he has nightmares - he used to wake up trembling having had dreams about a particular incident when he was in the Navy. I don’t know all the details since he’s not free to discuss it, but it ended with the death of a friend of his. But those dreams ended years ago.
He also hit me in his sleep once - well, not exactly hit me - he was flailing and I happened to be there. No marks, no repeats, no biggie. I’ve learned that when he gets restless, if I get close to him and lay my hand on his arm or back, he usually calms down. So, after he booted me, I got real close and put my hand on his leg. He twitched a little more - kinda like the dogs do when they dream, then he quieted down.
I called him after he got to work (I leave home before he gets up) and he doesn’t remember dreaming. He was all apologetic. So, should I milk this?? 
Nah. Not my style. But I may have to tie his legs when we go to bed… ummm, that’s another thread altogether.
One night I was dreaming about playing ping-pong, and just as something woke me up I went diving for a shot in my dream. My poor wife is laying there peacefully sleeping and suddenly has my fat butt landing on her out of the blue. After all the screaming we had a good laugh.
And here I was expecting a parody of TN*hippie’s thread. 
Well, start that thread, and give us a link!
Two words FCM: Duct Tape.
BTW, Mrs. B wacked me in the face one night, and kept right on snoring, at least I think she was snoring. She mighta been laughing. Anyway, it’s just one of the perils of sleeping with someone else. (innocent looking smilie goes here.)
My husband occasionally teases me about me elbowing him in the head at night. What really happens - and what he’ll admit to, when pressed on the subject - is that sometimes I would sleep on my back with one hand behind my head, so that my elbow is up. He tosses and turns a lot, and a couple times, he’s conked himself in the head on my elbow when he tosses too close. Maybe I’m unconsciously trying to keep him from tossing too close and rolling over on me.
My SO doesn’t move once he falls asleep. It’s kind of creepy, but I guess it’s better than him knocking the crud out of me.
He does say weird things in his sleep, though. The last time I stayed with him, I told him ‘happy anniversary’ right before I fell asleep. He turned his head, completely asleep, and said, “alright. Go get the vaccuum and I’ll clean it up.” Huh?
He also giggles in his sleep. Sometimes it’s really funny, and sometimes it’s creepy. Makes me think of Dr. Giggles or whatever the hell that movie was called.
**FCM, ** milk it. Serves him right for playing soccer in his sleep, or whatever he was doing!
Duct tape?? Well, that’s a better pair of words than “twin beds”!
Skerri, here’s hoping it was soccer and not, say, fan kicks with the Rockettes. [sub]Oh, what a mental image…[/sub]
GAH!!! And not only do I have to tolerate the physical abuse, he used my toothbrush!!!
This has me baffled. Pink for girls (me) and blue for boys (him) - pretty basic, huh? Plus I put the pink one in the holder on the side nearest my sink and the blue one was nearest his sink. Then I come home and find my pink toothbrush on his sink.
Lest you think I’m fretting about germs, nah, that’s not the issue. However, he brushes enthusiastically, which means he smooshes his bristles from the very first use. I’m more gentle and my brush lasts longer. Now I have a smooshed toothbrush.
What next? Is he gonna start wearing my clothes? Losing my car keys? Drinking from my cup?!?!? If this keeps up, I’m gonna hafta run away from home.
Who wants to adopt me?? [sub]note the sad puppy-dog eyes[/sub]
Look around behind the house and see if there is a large ripped-open pod.
CHILDREN! If you don’t stay on your sides of the bed, and stop kicking each other, I’m going to stop this house right here and make you get off.
I don’t care who started it, I’ll be the one to finish it.
And keep your hands of each other’s toothbrushes, too.
Don’t give me that look, young man. And I see your hand creeping over to his side, young lady. This will stop immediately, unless you both want to walk.
Mom was telling me that, while she was pregnant with me, one night Dad was sound asleep after working in the steel mill.
Suddenly, he grabbed her around the waist, pulled her towards him, and starting writing roughly on her back with his bare hand. Then he’d push her away, peull her towards him again, and repeat.
Finally she got his attention enough (he was still asleep) to ask what he was doing. “Quality marking steel beams.”
And then wondered why she was all bruised in the morning.
Quality marking?!?! That’s a hoot! I think I’d stand for that for about 3 seconds!!
And I checked - no pods… tho I didn’t go out into the woods.