Okay…this my rant for today but damned if I’ll put it in the pit…they get merciless in there from what I’ve read so far! My feelings are delicate! (Not really…but…)
Mr. Aries is a big SDMB fan…he posts very comical stories at times and has had many in teeming extras. I love to read his work and he cracks me up. Very talented that guy is.
He has always come home and talked to me about different amusing things he read on the board or certain posters and how ignorant he thought their arguements were, etc.
He has mentioned it to me so much over the years that I decided to log on recently, register and see what all the fuss was about.
So…I did. And I read. His old threads were making me laugh out loud. Then I found THE thread…the one where he (mistakingly…I might add) discussed our bedroom life on the board.
Granted, he was very kind and it really wasn’t a big deal but somehow I feel rather odd about this.
I’m sure you folks are as nice as you can be but I don’t really want my bedroom discussed.
Is this wrong on my part? Should I take this as not a big deal…which I do for the most part.
Anyway…I called him and told him I had found his threads that he wanted me to read but I had also found one I wasn’t so sure about and he apologized and said he probably shouldn’t have posted than in hindsight…
I don’t know if I’ve read the thread or not (!), but I wonder if he started it to ask for advice, or something like that? Or was it just one of those “sharing” threads?
I post about my sex life too and there are those here who have smacked me around a bit about it. I guess it’s a matter of personal boundaries. There is acertain amoutn of anonymity in a message board so it isn’t as if he told your next door neighbor. I understand your point though, in that you would have hoped he would keep some things sacred and private.
The good thing is that he had good things to say. He was proably very honest about that. One thing I will say, I am much more likely to say nice things about the man I love than to talk about anyone else at all so don’t take it too deeply to heart. It was probably a heartfelt compliment even if it was somewhat twisted from your viewpoint.
Okay, now I’m thinking “long time posters in Alabama…long time posters in Alabama…”
I certainly understand how it makes you feel oogy, and that you don’t want your bedroom life discussed on the net. On the other hand, it’s not such big deal, especially if he was complimentary about it. He shared his board life with you, so he obviously wasn’t trying to hide anything.
So, yes, he owes you an apology (he’s off to a good start, but additional groveling and/or a trip to your favorite restaurant would be in order), and he should agree to not discuss your bedroom life online again without your permission. And of course you have every reason to be upset about this. But it’s nothing major, and it sounds like you’re not treating it as such, so that’s good.
This thread should be required reading for anyone who is a) thinking about posting about their sex life or b) anyone who is thinking of encouraging a friend or family member to join.
Welcome to the boards, btw!
Well, I think I’ve figured out the mystery identity of the poster in question, but I sure as hell am not about to post it unless the OP’s cool about it. Suffice to say it involved a decently large (understandable, IMO) misunderstanding on the part of the longtime-poster but he was more confused than anything else (from what I can recall).
Without actually reading the thread in question, I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing. The best thing about this place is that one can gain wisdom and get advice from incredibly smart people in almost complete anonymity.
Talking about sex is not only natural, it’s a good idea – someone who is willing to discuss their sex life is also more likely to have an open mind about learning and improving. Your husband can either talk about it with the friends he has in his real life ( people who actually know you and see you), he can talk about it here, or he can not talk about it at all.
You are absolutely entitled to your privacy, and if you can’t stand the thought of him discussing sex on a message board, then you have every right to ask that he not. But I think it’s a mistake – sharing experiences here, even personal ones, really can be instructive and positive.
My bedroom is actually very odd, it used to the the carport, or garage, and runs the depth of the house (from to back) but is very narrow, kinda like a bowling alley. The “master” bath is smaller than any I have ever seen, shoehorned in an angled corner. I cannot but up my cornerpost bed, the ceiling is so short.
My husband read the boards when I first started posting here. He was quite upset at me discussing our sex life - well, mine, past and present. I am very open about sex and I don’t see it as a taboo subject - he is quite a bit more private on the matter - and as he is now part of my sex life, I have attempted to tone down my sex related posts a bit, and he has stopped reading them. We compromise. Perhaps you and your husband might reach a similar compromise in the future?
Does he know you’re on the boards? I’ll bet there are many husbands on the board dreading going home tonight.
Thank god my wife is a Yankee and would never even jokingly put ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ as her location.
Well I’m a private person too. I’ve be extremely upset if a partner posted about our sex life. I don’t post about mine in any respect other than I have one, well, sometimes I have one. Well occcasionally I have one. Forget it. This is about your sex life. What would possess someone to post about it, knowing the whole world is reading his/her most personal experiences with his/her closest love. But to each their own. Just tell him not to do it again. You can’t take back what’s already been done.
And no…I have no hang ups about sex. In fact, I’m probably more open about it and my past than he is.
But to justify his original post…I know it’s over and done with…but humor me…
I was feeling very neglected during that time period. It seemed like I always had to be the one to initiate sex between us and I hate that. I want to know that he wants it too and not feel like I have to ask him for it.
My work partner at the time was a HUGE jerk and anytime anybody said they had a headache in our office he would pipe up with, “You know what’s good for that? Sex with me.” It was really annoying.
Anyway…I could have sworn I had told my hubby about that and that we made fun of it several times…I guess I could be mistaken though.
So that is where the headache comment = I want sex originated from.
Contrary to his thread, we do not have communication problems. We have a GREAT sex life. He is a wonderful guy and we are very lucky to have each other.
It was just rather creepy to read about on a message board for some reason…
At least he didn’t tell you about the time he brought the swim fins, a jar of honey, a string of peppers and a trapeze into the bedroom…now THAT would have really got me!
For the record, folks, I did apologize about posting the more personal aspects of that thread to my dear wife. However, I learned a fair amount because of the thread, and I don’t think it was a complete betrayal or waste of time. Plus, it helped me see things from her perspective.
Now I’m gonna have to start minding my Ps and Qs around here. No more posting in my underwear for me. My wife might catch me.
