Headline writing 101

Brazil bishops say go easy on Carnival sex, booze

I saw this headline, and I just assumed it was a message to the bishops’ priests and other moralizers. You know, “Sure, drunken fornication is usually a major sin, but this is Carnival–it’s just to be expected! Give 'em a couple of Our Fathers and don’t make such a big deal out of it!” Wacky Brazillians, I thought. We should be so lucky!

Seriously, though, since when does “go easy on” mean “abstain from”? Even understood correctly, it sounds like the bishops are saying, “A little sex? A little booze? Why not? Just go easy on it!”

Any other amusing headlines recently?

Before anyone stones me, I do know that (marital) sex and boozed are not completely verboten to Catholics, even during Lent. I still think it was a poorely worded and amusing headline.

The Chicago Tribune produces a short, “hip”, commuter tabloid, the Red Eye. I read it most days because it has a good sudoku and it’s free. Last week, they had a story on a synagogue being vandalized with swastikas and neo-Nazi graffiti. The headline:

“Hate crime in Uptown?”

Gee, that’s a very good question. Let me ponder.

Okay, it’s as bogus as “Eats shoots and leaves” but my favorite of that ilk is the one about the escaped mental patient who raped a woman near the asylum: “Nut bolts and screws.”

As someone who actually writes the damn things, I was kinda proud of this one.

Sighted a few months back in the U.K. edition of Metro, the free commuter newspaper, atop a story about an effort to change drug laws:

“Legal Blow Hopes Dealt Legal Blow”

And of course let us not forget The Sun’s all-time great inspired a few years back by lowly Inverness Caledonian Thistle’s upset win at mighty Celtic’s home ground in the Scottish FA Cup:

“Super Cally Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious”

A yahoo news headline:

“Deer die after antlers lock during combat.”

Duh. This is a surprise?

Also, what’s the point of this article? The whole thing seems to be a very silly thing to make national news.

There’s the classic:

Harvard Defeats Yale 10-10.

No, that’s not a typo. Clever, yet subtle.

So, I suppose you could say that Pemberton gives good headline, testy though she may be.

I like the last line in the article though. Apparently, there was a hung jury. My question is, was it a well-hung jury?

I saw this one yesterday:

Holy Shiite Tomb Attacked

http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=1658478

Olive

I don’t get it.

Maybe the score isn’t quite a victory for either school, but a tie is as good as one for Harvard?