Sorry mom.
I’ll just banish myself to the backyard to plant those flowers I bought 'cha, and then cook a little dinner for everyone on the brand-new grill.
HMD Mom. I brung ya a carton of cigarettes cause Hal said you was gonna take up smokin’ cuz he made ya a ashtray. If ya don’t wanna take up smokin’ then you can take em to daddy next time you go visit him at that special place you said he had to go work for the next five to ten years.
OMG – you’re saying my post was a SNAFU? or, even worse, FUBAR?
Way to crush my spirits, FCM! I’ll just take my alphabet soup and go sit in a corner – no, that’s okay, pay attention to the others…
While I, of course, adore you FCM, I will contest your title as THE offical SDMB Mom - I’ll make you virtual breakfast in bed (and not clean up the mess), but I’m sending a virtual plant to Shirley Ujest and Hydra as well.
Hedra. sorry Hedra
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoM!
MOOOOooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
I need some money to go to the movies and I picked up my room an’ fed the dog and brought you some chocolates that are already opened and half eaten, but I was doing quality control and I’m such a bloated cow right now andlieuis farting and blaming it on the dog! Gah, I have sooo much homework to do and my new cyber boyfriend says he wants to meet me at the Motel 6. His name is BobfromAccounting. Can I have the car keys?
You look realllly pretty with that overweight ashtray in your hands. 
I would like to take this time out to send a Virtual Plant & Hard Bodied Stripper out to the SDMB Moms: Dangerosa, FCM, Tanookie, Bodypoet, Ginger, Hedra, dangermom, Cranky and a slew of others that I’m forgetting right now.
Whew! OK, I’ve got the dishes done and now we can have Quality Family Time. Gather 'round, my dearies.
jellytoes, the garden is lovely! You do have a gift for mulch!
swampy, dear, now you know we don’t allow that evil weed in this house, although I appreciate the thought. Next time remember that Mom prefers chocolate.
twicks, precious, you know you have a special place in my heart! You don’t need to try do hard! I wouldn’t change you a bit.
Dangerosa, angel, how sweet of you to get me breakfast in bed, and how creative you are with condiments. Don’t worry about the kitchen - I’m sure I can find the firehose somewhere.
Shirley, darling, now you know we already talked about the cyberboyfriend business. Do be a lamb and bring Mom a glass of wine to go with that hardbody…
I am so blessed…
Hey Mom!
I brought the grandson with me, he’s just started rolling over regularly. Look at that smile! He loves you! See?
Here’s a gift from us! hands over a photo album already half full of photos with room for more, along with a few wallets to use for bragging
There’s also a cake in the car, sorry it’s not homemade I’m just getting over the first bit of frazzled motherhood
I made you the bestest card an’ it was soooo pretty an’ had glitter an’ macaroni an’ tissue paper flowers an’ Exgineer ate it.
He spoils everything.
Make him stop!
Well I think you know how I feel about you. 
From one mom to another, Happy Mother’s Day! What say we head off to the spa for a hot stone massage? My treat. We deserve some quality mom time.
:visions of FCM and Lady Kate paying good money to get pelted with heated rocks:
This is why men generally don’t go to spas. 
I just saw David Letterman’s Top Ten List featuring celebrity moms, and I have to say … Avril Lavigne’s mom has some pretty big tits!
flutterby, what a thoughtful gift! One can never have too many picture albums or too much cake! OK, I’m not a grandma yet, but at my age, I could have school age grandkids already…
Lissla, my pet, I’m sure it was the most magnificent card in the world. No need to snitch on Ex, tho - he’s, um, well, he’s Ex. Do try the cookies I just baked!
Zebra, :o how you fluster me…
Lady Kate, a spa day sounds divine. Any day away from housework sounds divine. Psst, Hal, I envisioned sitting around rubbing hot rocks. Good for arthritic hands, I guess
Snooooopy, now, now, dear, one doesn’t discuss a mother’s tits. It’s so impolite… and somewhat disturbing. :eek:
Mom, I’m going out! Can I take the van?
Bear, dear, OK, you can take the van. But please be careful of unseemly characters out there - you’re such an innocent!
I WUBOO MOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!!!
You rock my socks!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA… WOOHHAHAHAHHAHAHA innocent Riiiiiiiight! HaHAHA wipes tears away from eyes
ahem… I’m ok now…
I WUBOO too, sweetie! Now please take the rocks out of your socks - it sounds like a herd of buffalo when you walk.
Here is a card and some flowers and oh yeah this is my girl friend,Floozie.
We’re thinking of saving rent money by living together.Oh yeah Floozie is pregnant but you don’t have to worry its not mine.
So How ya been?
Anything to eat in the fridge?
Later
Pssst Ma
over here
Can I borrow some money?