metoo,metoo,metoo,metoo,metoo,metoo,metoo,metoo!
I made you a card! See?!?!?!?!
It’s you and me and we’re holding hands and you have candy for us and we’re going to the zoo and we’re going to see the lions and the monkeys and the bears and we’re going to eat cottoncandy and popcorn and have fun and tell Snooooopy to quit touching me and stay on his side of the table! 
Stupid-head stuck-up…know what, mom never told you, but you’re adopted. You’re real mommy and daddy didn’t want you 'cause you smell like pee. 
Happy Mother’s Day!
I have a mother’s day suprise for you- I knocked up some chick I met at the party at Jose’s house- the gang member Jose, not the crack addict Jose- and you’re going to have a grandchild!! Yay!
Please don’t kill me.
UH UH, POOTERHEAD!
smack!
MAAAAAAAA!!! harmless hit me for no reason!! Oooo…you’re gonna be in sooo much trouble now!
Oh my, such a wonderful Mother’s Day it’s been!
justwannano, help yourself to whatever you can find in the fridge, but you remember that little chat we had about helping yourself to Mom’s wallet? Well, I’ll remind you that it’s a big no-no. Kinda like Floozie there.
harmless, that’s the most beautiful card I’ve ever seen. I’ll put it right here in the front of the fridge!
Hal, stop picking fights, dear. You’ll give mom a headache.
emekthian, what a surprise. You do have a colorful life, don’t you.
OK, everyone, Mom’s going to kick back with a glass of wine and a cool compress. Let’s all use our indoor voices from now on!
Ok y’all heard mommy…
NO YELLING!!!
And ain’t it neat how she buys wine by the keg?
Mom, can I have a BB-gun?
Can I call you if I have a boo-boo?
Will you tuck me in?
I made you this bird house in shop, just for you!!
And my special onion and mustard French toast for breakfast.
Your the bestest Mom in the world!
:o
Neener, neener, neeeeeeener!