Looks like he was just clearing his throat.
“Tightroll my jeans…computer nerd”? BWAHAHA!
I know you’re not as stupid as you’ve been coming across tonight. I’m figuring either: a.) you’re drunk, b.) you’re whooshing me, c.) your chimpanzee girlfriend got hold of your keyboard.
I’m guessing you’re going to claim b.) no matter what the answer really is.
Sigh. I’m always drunk. But don’t you think that it’s sad that even drunk, I can come up with better material than calling you stupid?
I’m sure you’re a low-rent poor man’s Tom Selleck, complete with a magnificient cockduster, and that you go out to the bars and nail chicks way hotter than ShotFromGuns and MeanOldLady nightly. You’re disco dancing all night long, shirt off and glitter on.
But seriously, all you’ve done is make claims that you’re in fact some sort of hot pseudo-hipster poonhound, while simultaneously bitching that girls who aren’t hotter than Jennifer Connelly’s and Nicole Kidman’s genetic lovechild shouldn’t be talking about fatties.
I don’t know what sort of cold-war battle-of-ideologies olympic figure skating scoring system you’re going by, but I am totally winning. Even pounding the rumncokes, I’m pwning you like a rented robotic M.U.L.E.
In all seriousness, you’re not being whooshed. You’re sort of like the midget who is trying to land a solid punch while I keep you at non-dwarf arm’s length with a contemptuous facepalm/stiffarm. I’m asking you to grow a set and put something out there that isn’t a lame-ass juvenile comeback.
No one with a personality is buying your bullshit about “If you only knew”. I mean, for the love of Jesus H. B. Christ, I’m a superstar Perry Mason lawyer who races cars and bangs supermodels when I’m not inventing the goddamned Post-It. Only one or two of these things are true, but it’s the goddamned internet, and we’re not here to compare actual life dick size (which I would win even if we compared your length vs my girth).
You are your posts. Hence, you are a sort of retarded awkward flabworm, or at best the earnest yet totally dull dude who writes letters to the editor of your local podunk paper and thinks he’s hot shit.
Spare me the defense of your internet persona. Give me something interesting. All you’ve got is calling me stupid. It’s just not enough. Take your time, I’ll be waiting eagerly for a demonstration of your written beatdown skills.
What you don’t seem to understand, mon frere, is that it isn’t incumbent upon me to entertain you. In actual point of fact you’ve been wrong about every single impression you have of me and of what I’ve been saying in this thread. I never alluded to a weight problem, I merely exposed Snot From Buns for the plain jane she is in contrast to her claim of being “smoking hot”. I never claimed to be a disco dancing swordsman, either, a claim you may have inferred when I pointed out to Fucker of poor innocent insect…uh, Sleeps With Butterflies that I was neither as prudish nor as infirm as she likes to think. I was already an adult before Reagan ever took office, I’ve never worn “tightrolled jeans” and I’m certainly not a computer geek.
But at least you admitted you were drunk, so I was wrong about something there.
And now I must bid you adieu for the night.
Cheers (and swallow three Excedrin before you go to bed. Take it from the disco-dancing swordsman in a pastel Polo shirt furiously coding away at his computer like Bill Gates, you’ll awaken headache free if you do).
Actually, it is, but unfortunately, you are very poor at it.
Actually, it is incumbent upon you to entertain me, but unfortunately, you are very poor at it.
I vote this thread get stickied.
Oh, and - I was quoted! I was quoted! Shot From Guns, if I said you had a nice body…would you hold it against me? (badaboom, thank you thank you I’m here all week and don’t forget to tip your waitresses)
And which could’ve been applied toward better endeavors, like making love to your wife three or four times!
I loved M.U.L.E. It’s the only old C64 game I play on the emulator.
[hijack]
**RR **- why am I not surprised that you are trying to make this about you?
And could you be more tone-deaf? Being poor isn’t a bad habit*, you bourgeois twit.
*granted, I know that being fat isn’t exclusively due to poor habits - but this thread is speaking to that aspect of it…
[/hijack]
**SFGuns **- you’re a cool broad. Bette Davis fan?
I have seen The Terminator 11 times, and own it on DVD. Fact.
F-
Yeah, but someone upthread said “Snot from Nuns” which tickled me a bit.
Anyways, this thread is making me want to change my name to Nzinga, Jogging.
Right now, I am Nzinga, Slumping, though.
Snot From Buns is making me laugh harder than it has any reasonable right to.
Regards,
MsWhatsit, Lounging.
I vote for Don’t Weigh Tons.
Combine two fixations, and you get “Tots Weighing Tons”. 
IIRC, according to someone upthread, only about 20. 
1.) Thyroid issues don’t cause you to be larger. Eating more calories than your body needs causes you to be larger. Thyroid issues can just cause you to need fewer (or more) calories.
2.) You’re bragging about eating under *2,200 *Calories a day? Really? Really?
1.) *My *insults are clever. *Yours *are retarded and trying too hard. That’s the difference.
2.) Similarly, *my *name is awesome (I have a nutlike flavor that’s delicious!), but *yours *is inexplicable.
Replace Keanu with Nicholas Cage (especially if he’s punching women) and I would totally go see that film.
Have you *seen *Rand Rover?
I haven’t seen a lot of her films, but *Now, Voyager *is a favorite of mine and she was great in it.
Your cite shows that the British are not as fat as Americans, even if they are trending in that direction. Thank you for proving my point.
Shot From Guns, you’re not related to Ricky Gervaise by any chance are you? (YouTube link)
Can’t get to YouTube from work, unfortunately. No, not related, but I think he’s often hilarious.
His rant on fat people is similar in content to yours.
…and get back to work, slacker!
Among other funny shit.