Have we got someone channeling December?
Didn’t you hear? Apparently Saddam was harboring terrorists and is responsible for the 9/11 attacks. Osama has been exonerated by virtue of the fact that we can’t find him either.
Looks like we’ll all be getting together for a Guatanamo Get-together–I’ll bring the beer and blueprints and lists of interrogators.
The StraightDope will drive them mad with Simpson’s and Monty Python quotes–they’ll think we’re an international terrorist ring funded by black market organ donations: “Can I have your liver then?”
“Well, my goodness gracious, these starvation and sleep-diddly-deprivation tactics are mighty atro-diddly-ocious!”
Is it so unreasonable to say, hypothetically, that certain people in a certain administration decided that certain Surprises are better left unsprung until a certain October?
Like the slaying of Osama and/or Saddam, whose locations might well be already known and are being milked for further information on their conspirators?
I wouldn’t bet money on a terror attack before the election. Not that it’s beyond them ethically, just that I think it would be the straw that broke the back. The US public would be driven to challenge what the hell the point of all this Homeland Security and the Patriot Act etc. was, and by inference, that Bush’s war on terror was a domino shower of clusterfucks.
Or, perhaps they would withdraw into the fetal position, and surrender to whatever macho posturing that makes them feel that America’s tough and takes no guff. This is a perfectly reasonable thing to expect.
You see how hard this future-predicting is?
Given the track record, it’s more likely that they’ll just make announcements that they’d found Osama and Saddam. Such announcements, of course, being easily disproved, but not until it’s too late.
I doubt Bush could:
a) resist the temptation to shoot his mouth off immediately if Osama or Saddam were really found, or
b) resist the temptation to bullshit at an opportune time if they haven’t been found.
That was sheer genius, the way Jeb made sure the Florida polls still used obsolete cards that had chads that were too difficult to punch out, especially in all the areas where there’d be more weak and senile old people and stupid minorities.
I know – fiendishly clever, these Bushes…
I’m really glad Korea or China never did anything to their daddy.
“…the Bush administration decided to allow a group of Saudis to fly out of the U.S. just after September 11…at least four flights with about 140 Saudis, including roughly two dozen members of the bin Laden family, flew to Saudi Arabia that week — without even being interviewed or interrogated by the F.B.I.”
Nothing suspicious here. :rolleyes:
“fiendishly clever, these Bushes…”
That’s not the half of it. Notice how the long arm of the sinister Bushes reached all the way out to Oregon…few electoral votes so no big deal who took that state, but enough publicity to allow Jeb to say, “Look at Oregon! See! It wasn’t just my state that had this problem! Tell them, daddy!” That is the actual quote–I’ll see if I can find the cite on the web someplace…maybe SNOPES.
Yeah, I know that X number of other states weren’t impressed enough with Mr. Gore to give him their votes, and that in the real world (you know, the one where Dubyah is a good man and in control of the situation–and honestly elected as the preferred leader by and for The People of Earth…er, I mean, the USA) the fact that the election hinged for a few weeks on the outcome of a state governed by his brother was all just coincedence. Really. I have no proof to the contrary and would be an exquisite fool (instead of just a plain old idiot) to maintain a position to the contrary.
I have more to say, but someone’s at the door. Hmmm…I don’t know anyone with a black GMC Suburban…
Hey! What the F… mmmfffff … mmrrrmmfff … mmmrphh …ooofffff. prft prft
:eek:
We appologize for interrupting this post, but “Matchka” has been … detained for questioning.
Here, I’ll help out.
You can apply to work in Iraq from this here company. It will aid you greatly if you are, say, a friend of Mr. Cheney, or a $1,000-and-up GOP donor, or have friends or relatives with deep pockets.
quote:
but there’s no way he’d ever stage an attack on Americans. He’s not a complete maniac…
“Don’t worry, Pavlov, Uncle Joe wouldn’t starve the Ukranians to death…”
“Don’t worry, Anja. Our Fuhrer is only relocating the Jews. He’s not killing them…”
“Well, Fayruz, Saddam’s men will not come for us, it was the Faisals next door that they wished to speak with.”
“Polpot who?”
“Fidel who?”
“Mommy, can we visit Grandma in Guernica this summer?”
“He’s the President, the General, he’s King of the Sea! Idi Amin”
And who was the maniacalCaesar who killed all those peole…?
Nothing cute, but what did we do the apanese Americans during WWII? Our leadership structure certainly does support unAmerican treatment of our own on a large scale.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…
Japanese Americans.