Wonderful story, Sampiro, and wonderful writing. Thank you.
I’m a little ashamed to say this, but I shut down the Styx River Water World…but it was their own damn fault. I was working for the Public Water Division of the Alabama Department of Environmental Management, and I was responsible for inspecting public water systems. All public water systems, especially any place where people are coming into full-body contact with water supplies, are required to maintain a certain threshold level of chlorine.
Well sir, I went down there for an annual inspection. No chlorine. 0.0 mg/L. Cheap excuses.
I told the owner that I’d come back in a couple of weeks, and there had better be chlorine in the water. I sent him a letter to that effect shortly after I returned to the office.
Two weeks later, I made the 200 mile trek again. No chlorine. 0.0 mg/L. Excuses.
Dammit.
I told him…PLEADED with him…“Look. Everything else is fine. But you HAVE to have chlorine in the water. If all you do to maintain water quality is ADD the FREAKING CHLORINE, everyone will stay off your back.”
I made an appointment to meet with him a few weeks later. No chlorine. 0.0 mg/L. Excuses.
I then went back to Montgomery and drafted an order that they shut down operations (or at least the part having to do with water…which for a water park is everything) until they came into compliance.
Last I heard, they’d shut down permanently.
:(, but still. Sheesh.
Here’s a quickie.
I was parking my car at UNC-Greensboro when a good-ol-boy cop came up and asked me, “This your car?”
“Yes sir.”
“How do you lock it?” He then asked.
I thought he was interested in my security, being a cop and all. So I said, “With my key, after closing the door.”
“No, no.” he said. “How do you lock it?”
I was confused at this point but continued. “Uh, sometimes I just lock it with the power lock control before I leave…”
At this point he was annoyed. “No!* L-I-K-E*! How do you lock your car!”
I was seriously embarrased. “Oh, it’s nice…”
Sampiro, Miz Nellie’s story was a lot like my own grandmothers response to the words, “Hi, how are you?” She was from the Warrior River area of northern AL.
I thought only Jesus could close the Styx…
but then, in all the time I’ve known you and known Him, I’ve never seen the two of you together.
Oh, this revelation just totally makes me want you to breed with J even more.
I’ll check with my wife about it, but I really don’t think she’ll go for it.
Still, J’s pretty cute. 
Just read to her about Hagar and Leah and Rachel and their illegal domestics. It’s totally scriptural.
Frankly I’m in awe at Mz Nellie though she does sound as though she should have been born Scottish. Reminds me of the pie and peas/scone debacle that went on with my mother. :rolleyes: