Oh, Hal…
:: just wants to hug the whole lot of you and them… ::
Wow. That completely sucks on so many levels. How’s he going to go through with all of this? Does he have any family?
Oh, I’m so sorry. What a terrible thing to happen. My deepest sympathy to Aria’s husband and family. Prayers headed out.
Yeah…but that opens up a whole 'nother chapter here.
No one really sees any way that he won’t end up living back with his parents – he just doesn’t make the kind of money that would allow him to live on his own and pay for day care for the kids. So it’s pretty much a certainty that his mother will be taking care of the the kids.
Aria hated, hated, hated her MIL.
I’ve never met the woman myself, but from speaking with those who had, it was nearly impossible to spend five minutes with her without finding her to be a hateful, wretched, vile excuse for a person. Aria swore up and down that her kids would know who their grandmother was, but that would be it. The worst thing in the world to Aira would be her MIL having any kind of influence on her children’s lives. And now she’ll be raising these kids. Wonderful…
Is there anyway you and his other friends could help out with the daycare? Whether subsidizing it or providing it?
We’re seeing what can be done as we speak.
Providing it would be tricky…there is only one other stay-at-home mom in the circle of friends, and she lives a pretty good distance away from where Aria lived (damn, I fricking hate using past tense like this).
Subsidizing is always a possibility…Aria was very active in a parenting/pregnancy message board (that’s how we came to meet – both she and my wife were mods on that board), and they had been a wonderful outpouring of support for Ryan and the kids, including financial. It would certainly be terrific if we could swing something long-term, but covering what would be around a $250-300/week day care bill would be a trick.
We shall see…
I’m so sorry to read this. Prayers and hugs headed out to Aria’s family and to yours.
Are Aria’s parents or siblings (or cousins or really almost anyone else) in a position to help care for the children? There’s gotta be some alternative.
GT
That’s terrible - my condolences to you and to the other friends and, of course, the family of this poor woman.
Life is hell sometimes. 
My heart breaks for you and for Aria’s family and friends! I will be praying for you all.
If he was having to work 3 jobs to make ends meet so Aria could stay home then I am sure that he would probably be eligible for some assistance from the county or the state. I did a quick Google and it looks like Mercer County offers assistance for a family of 3 who bring in less than $63,000 a year. I don’t know what county he is in; but, maybe you all can help him find additional resources besides family and friends. He is going to need you all!
Aria’s parents can’t step in somehow?
Perhaps…
Her parents can’t take in Ryan and the children – they live in an adult community. However, I’m now coming to understand that her parents were quite well off. I never knew this before, simply because Aria never spoke about it. It seems she didn’t want to be seen as being dependent on her parents’ money, so she never looked to them for anything.
I have no idea exactly how well off they are, but perhaps they’ll be able to provide for their grandchildren. I sure as hell hope so…
Shryn, thanks much for the info. They live in Camden County, but it’s certainly something to look into…thanks!
Hal you can’t change the past. You can control the future. Make sure that you are there for for Ryan and the kids.
I have a feeling that an offer of dinner, or to babysit some evening will be worth more than gold to him. Maybe not now, but soon.
Please pass our condolences to Ryan.
My wife and I are starting to talk about trying to get pregnant (yeah, we’re a little ways off yet), but this scares the heck out of me. I can’t imagine what her husband, as well as you and all who knew her, must be going through right now. My prayers are with the lot of you.
You just got me to cry, Hal. Babies generally bore me but I found that little cake party really charming and sweet. I remembered it, and even told people about it. To think one of those moms are now dead…
Poor little Max who will never know his mom.
Yeah, me, too. One of my classmates died in childbirth.
Again, sorry to hear that, but maybe things might work out.
Gah. That sucks.
Hal, child birth deaths are among the most tragic. I’m so sorry about your friend’s loss, and for yours.
Sending good thoughts of a safe and happy future for Ryan and his young family.
God, Hal, I’m so sorry. What a terrible, tragic, stupid, horrible thing to happen. hugs Ryan and his family
That’s too, too sad.
Hal- time flies so fast, seems like only yesterday we were all waiting to hear about Shayla’s birth.
Sad as it may seem, the WHO estimated the maternal mortality rate in the USA in 2000 as 17 per 100,000.
Seems like good odds until you know one of those seventeen people.