Welcome, Boston Rob! This is a fun place with lots of cool, interesting people. Hope you enjoy it as much as I have over the years.
Yeah, the welcoming and all that is very nice, but what about the initiation ceremony? Are we going to forsake the hallowed traditions of this board!? Humph! I have to do everything around here…!
OK, I have the squid and the lube. However, I am out of Naga Jolokia peppers. One of you will have to bring the 27 pounds needed for the rite.
Also, the police confiscated the Chinese fireworks we used to have. Who can find at a moment’s notice a suitable quantity of rockets?
Finally, Boston Rob, do you mind if we shave your left eyebrow and paint you with the holy green varnish of sacrifice? Thanks in advance!
I thought a Boston Rob was slang for a waterfront mugging. 
I, too, was going to ask about “Am-buh”.
Now, let’s get to some serious business - please choose, wisely:
- Toilet Paper: Over or under?
- Hot dogs: Mustard or ketchup?
- Corn on the cob: Across or around?
This will tell us all we need to know.
Welcome!
Under
ketchup
around
Normally I roll my eyes at introductory threads, but this made me laugh.
Welcome.
Ketchup?
Seriously?
Well, it’s been nice having you here, hope you enjoyed your stay, all the best with your future.
Hey Rob,
This is Rich (aka Charlie) from Rhode Island.
I’ve been having some tax trouble recently and so if you could pay back the thousand clams you borrowed from my mom, we’d all really appreciate it.
BTW, the whole family is going clamming this summer and Amber is invited. We’d invite you but I’m guessing Amber will have to leave the kids at home with you, won’t she? Oh well, NW. She’ll have a good time. You can send the clams along with her.
Just tell her that Big Charlie will take good care of her. She’ll remember me. I’m sure of that. I promise that I’ll even wear clothes. I know she’ll appreciate that - especially after last time.
All hail our new and wise ketchup-on-hot-dogs appreciator!
This is true, but I am also a member.
Welcome, Boston Rob. More important - blue pill, or red?
Regards,
Shodan
Phbbt, dude won’t last a week.
Civilized people roll it under. And I don’t have words for people who put ketchup on hot dogs (or anything else). Mustard all the way.
Now I am going to tell all you Dopers something that is surprising and, by all evidence, nearly always true. Also inexplicable. Among mathematicians, those whose specialty is generally algebra eat their corn on the cob round and round. I have always done it that way. Those specialty is analytic of geometric go across rows.
Peanut butter on hot dogs is the way to go. But then I’m Canadian, and the ice weasels got to me long ago.
Welcome!
Your cat will not be pleased. AT ALL!