Can you believe it?
I started to realize, a little late, that it’s customary to introduce yourself when joining a message board.
I hope it’s not too obvious that I’ve never been on one before.
So, um…
If you want we can eat Circus peanuts at my place. I have plenty of those because nobody ever eats them.
And bring over any cds you want to microwave, lots of laughs. Especially anything by VNV Nation or APOP Beserk.
You’ll have to excuse that my house is a mess because we have this nasty foot-fungussed houseguests that has been sleeping on our couch for the past month.
I booted his ass out yesterday (huzzah!) but the odour remains. I apologize.
So come in, bring incense and Lysol, if you’ll help me scrub up and disinfect, I’ll make you a taxidermed rat with wings or wheels or whatever you like.
Yes, i am a taxidermist. And I like The Residents, Edward Scissorhands, cloning myself, making life-sized humans made of newspapers and duct tape, The Cure, The Monkees, the colour blue, dandelions and turtles. And Nintendo (8-bit) and old Atari games. I have pets- a rat and a millipede and two turtles- but they will not be taxidermed when they die, because they have asked me for a proper burial.
C’mon in and say hullo.
I’ve never had a post party, but I’m at 300 now-
but I guess i should introduce myself first.
I never introduced myself either, and since this is MY first message board too, I didn’t know I was supposed to.
Hi, my name is Cheri, but you can call me Scotti. I brought plenty of Lysol, and will be happy to watch you use it. It is my day off, so I decline your kind offer to actually DO some of the scrubbing!
Come to think of it… I never introduced myself either! And this is also my first message board! I hope it is not too late!!
Hello everyone,
My name is Bear Nenno. I live in Tampa, Fl. (with Michi )
I am 21 years old. I have no pets, but there are two cats that share an apartment with me. They belong to my roomates. I would tell you their names, but they do not have names. My roomate calls them “Fatty, shithead, damn cat, kitty, runt, bastard etc”
I call them “1 of 5” and “2 of 5”. Yes I am a Voyager fan despite the lack of continuity and occassional god awful show they do. Missed the season premier though . Hopefully the replay will be tomorrow.
Oh man! I step out for ONE MINUTE to pick up some hummus for my diabetic guests who can’t handle circus peanuts and all these people show up!
Hulloooooooo! Nice to meet you all.
Scotti- I remember you, you gave me the address for the all natural hard-core mosquito repellent that I only remembered to order after the cold killed the little buggers off.
Ah well, I’ll tell you how it works for me next year.
Connor-
Hey. It’s not hard to make a person out of duct tape and newspapers. Look on the orange couch- see the pretty, motionless woman made of newspapers and duct tape?
Her name is Susan Bananahands and i created her. Isn’t she a doll?
It’s very simple, just get a tape measure and measure yourself, then make crumple the newpapers, tape them up with duct and you’ve got a new friend.
I dress Susan in my clothes, that’s why she looks so snappy.
The only difficult part is to teach her right from wrong.
She sometimes fantasizes about turning on her creator, even though I read to her from Emily Post’s ETIQUETTE and from The Little Prince every night (to teach her how to love, of course).
Glad to hear you finally gave the houseguest the boot. So did you just lay around the house after he left masturbating out of sheer pleasure that he was gone?
Do I have to eat a Circus Peanut or hummus? There isn’t a third choice somewhere around here is there?
Yes, it’s one or the other. Unless you like pet food-
there’s turtle pellets, rat pellets, Tums, or green peppers- that’s what William (my millipede) eats.
And Spiderwoman-
If nobody claims him at the garage sale, take him to a greenhouse in a college science building-
We can see what else can grow on Mr. Stinky FungusFoot
Now, is she completely covered in duct tape, or not? And do you have her in a sitting or standing position? I would imagine that standing would be best, don’t you? I WILL do this next week.
She is completely covered in duct tape, but I fashioned her some moveable joints so she can sit, stand, love, beat me with an aluminum baseball bat-
She just has trouble typing, being a Bananahands, but she is telekinetic so she’s not handicapped.
Creating a sentient being who’s telekinetic is very difficult, and i secret I won’t divulge
(unless someone wants to help me sterilize and clean this smelly dump- then i will consider it)
Well, it rained at the last football game I went to, and I’ve got this extra poncho, so I’ve just draped it over my end of the couch. Hopefully the microorganisms will be smothered.
It’s hard to explain how the joints were fashioned without a diagram. I could let you into my workshop to see the plans if you promise not to look under the giant blue blanket…
The shoulders and legs at the hips are based on the ol’ wheel and axle concept. She can swing her arm around 360 degrees!
The hinge joints (ie, elbows, knees) are based on- well, hinges.
But I’m surprised you would ask about the joints rather than how to create a sentient being that has no internal organs- it ain’t easy!
Wow! Her own e-mail address! Now, did you create this on your own, or did you just get some hardware and attach? I’m thinking about doing this this weekend with my girlfriend, and won’t have computer access. Please help!
Hey Turp, I told you that all you had to do was start a life size taxidermy project to dislodge that fungus laden limpet. Quite frankly, I’d have let the millipede crawl up one of the guy’s nostrils while he was asleep and then video tape the ensuing war dance as a work of performance art. (I guess I’m just not fond enough of millipedes.)
That said, maybe I should introduce myself (seeing as how I missed out on Bottle of Smoke’s intro colunm.)
My name is Chris. As you can all tell by now, I’m a ham and all around prankster. I love to cook and share my home with a white wolf hybrid named Zen and a cat named Piewacket. I play music when I’m not out earning money to buy another instrument. I live in Silicon Valley and have spent a lot of time working in the technology sector.
I’m currently on a quest to permanently cure my singleness and hope to achieve that sometime soon. I think that the SD boards is one of the best hangouts there is. As an autodidact, this is like a second home to me.
Hand me a beer Turp.
::sets down a plate of appetizers and makes a pass at Susan Bananahands::
)
. Hopefully the replay will be tomorrow.